I started my ADD journey close to three months ago. The first month my doctor didn’t agree with me on my assessment, but gave me medication anyway. I received my first prescription for a very low dose (read why bother dose) of concerta. I didn’t see any results and went back feeling discouraged and at least willing to try a higher dose. She bumped up to 36 mg.

My 90 days are almost up. During that time I was to set goals, redistribute some chores, and set some boundaries.

We learned some things. By letting go of the need to be all things to all people, I have more time to do important things like balance my check book and get our finances all in one place. They get done more quickly as well because I stay focused on it. My front living room is painted (with a lot of help from my husband). I have permanently delegated the boys laundry to them. They are 16 and 18 – so this is no devastating burden trust me and well, they didn’t die. I might, but they haven’t.

My memory is returning, and actually I’m discovering that I might not have really lost it, I just have more certainty (clarity) during events (because I’m paying attention) that it’s easier to recall things. I don’t change what I remember based on someone else insisting it was some other way. Okay so that little tidbit drives my husband and youngest nuts, but that’s okay. I feel better knowing I have the clarity back.

My mother still thinks it’s just menopause. I think it could be that menopause has made my ADD worse and harder for me to manage on my own. I cheated during my 90 days – I tried going a week without the meds and everything went back to the way it was. No more cheating, I’m sticking with this. This works.

I’m accomplishing goals, thinking clearly, speaking and writing with clarity (most of the time – not counting hormone days), I’m setting goals and achieving them. I feel better about myself, and my happiness is returning because my self esteem is returning. I’m calming down and not so hyper and bouncing off the walls. I’m not perfectly organized, I’m just learning how to be perfectly me and I’m okay with that.