Why is my road bike in my living room?

Because I can only watch so many episodes of Ally McBeal on Netflix before wondering if the writers had access to my psych files. Granted, I feel saner after watching that show.

Because my fingers can only practice banjo and guitar so many times before freezing up.

Because no amount of internal body heat caused by menopause or kitschy cycling gear can combat the polar vortex when it arrives.

Because my attitude over the things I still cannot do has gotten so bad, my family is thinking of putting me out of their misery.

AND

Because I deserve to do the best I can to take care of me.

I have choices. I can either lament the fact that I’m not allowed to ride in the street yet, or I can set up my trainer (with permission) and get moving.

My leg is still broken (or is sticky as doc calls it) and even though I’m now allowed to walk if I use my boot and walker, I still cannot go outside or drive or do a whole lot really and when I’m being honest, I get frustrated.

It’s really starting to feel like every time I turn around I bump into something else I still can’t do yet.

This might not seem like a lot to other folks, but it’s making the world of difference to me.

I haven’t been able to walk for three months. My legs are toast. Group rides are presently out of the question as is riding on the street or trails for now. Most of my riding friends set up trainers only as a last resort. Tulsa winters are usually mild enough to ride. I’d ride too but, I’m not allowed to join them until my leg is 100% healed. That is going to take a few more months.

The issue for me isn’t so much physical as it is mental. I knew going in this road of recovery would be a while. I knew there would be physical demands and I was fully prepared to face them. What I didn’t expect to face is the mental aspect of it all. This recovery has been a huge challenge for me emotionally. I’m not used to having to rely on other people to do things for me, I’m used to doing them myself.

I needed to find something I CAN do.

Setting up my trainer is the perfect way for me to get over feeling a bit defeated and frustrated by how long it’s taking my leg to heal. It keeps my mind busy and it will strengthen my legs at the same time.

Not a bad deal if you ask me.