My inner critic is a poltergeist of a child. Loud. Demanding. Mean. Constantly afraid of coming up short, she whispers lies and rules so burdensome that no one can stand under her weight. Not even me.

I try to shut her up with an early afternoon pina colada while on our cruise and she just complains about the hour and questions the appropriateness of drinking so early with people she barely knows. What would they think?

Truthfully?

I am too busy enjoying the cool coconutty goodness in a tall glass to pay too much attention to her. I even keep the cute pink paper umbrella as a reminder that I do too know how to be free once in a while. And then as if to spite her, I glue it to the very center of my art journal page just to prove a point.

Grace abounds

Life is a journey

I can be at home in my own skin

even in the middle of the sea

surrounded by strangers.

——-

It feels good to be back y’all. Thank you for allowing me to take such an extended break. I needed time way to allow my spirit to be nourished. I’ve learned a lot while I was away. You’ll notice that my page format has changed. Rather than fighting what feels like a wilderness of change, I’m learning how to not only embrace it but truly live in it. I’m looking forward to learning the difference between “good” and “vastly great.”

“Naked and on

my knees, years of good enough

were callously stripped away

an angel took mercy

and held my hand

…fear not my love

‘good’

was merely insulating you… from

vastly great.”

– Kristen Jongen, “Growing Wings”

This post written by Deana O’Hara for Redemption’s Heart. All rights reserved. April 23, 2011