Tag: Grace

Modern Evangelism: Your Church Sucks, Come to ours instead

Deana16 Comments

I am a sword carrying idiot. I’ve been known to wrecklessly wield my good intentions at people and not only cut their ears off, but their heads as well.  This blog post is as much about me as it is THEM.

 

Remember when there used to be ethics in advertising? There was a day when companies would spend their ad dollars on themselves without ever once mentioning the competition. I miss those days. I could be wrong, but I think Burger King was the first nationally known company to advertise against someone else. That someone else being McDonalds.  It was only a matter of time before everyone followed suit and today some companies go so far trashing the competition that the only name I remember from the commercial is the other brand. Yeah that’s effective.

Politicians do the same thing. They spend their advertising budget slandering their opponent without ever saying what they themselves stand for.

What saddens me is churches and some pastors are following the same path. Not just in my LCMS world either. Follow Twitter for a while and you’ll see what I mean – pastor’s world-wide trashing other pastors and churches for being different.

You’re going to hell and I’m not and let me tell you why. – ooh love me some piety. With an opening like that, I don’t even want to be in the same room as you, much less be stuck with you for eternity.

The emergent church this.

The liturgical church that.

This conference is horrible and ours is much Godlier – wanna know why? No not anymore, I send my kids to that and you just accused me of being ungodly for doing so. Besides – the horse you’re riding on is so high, I can’t hear all the way down here in the gutter you act like I live in.

Marketing 101 says “Don’t waste precious resources (dollars and time) talking about someone else’s brand. Talk about your own.

Every worthwhile communication skills book I’ve ever read tells me not to start with you statements. You statements are confrontational and achieve nothing more than putting the other person in a defensive position. People don’t hear anything past a slam; it’s ineffective and childish. You’ve just told me I’m an idiot, bad parent, ungodly, whatever for supporting X and you want me to listen to you? Fat chance bub.

Insulting me – which is what happens with you statements, doesn’t make you look better in my eyes, it makes you look like, well… a donkey.

Imagine if we spoke to our spouses or kids like that? You never take out the trash. You’re lazy why can’t you keep the house looking the way I like it? You never listen to me. You… you… you…

Problem is, the real issue is rarely about you and really about me — I have a need that is going unmet and I while I may not be intentionally blaming you for it, I’m going to defend it even if it means cutting your head off. You statements breed rebellion or worse – little deaths of esteem, trust, respect and maybe even the relationship.

The only thing that can heal that is the supernatural touch of Christ.

Remember Peter and the night in the garden? He cut off the ear of a Roman soldier sent to take Christ to Pilate.

John 18: 1When he had finished praying, Jesus left with his disciples and crossed the Kidron Valley. On the other side there was an olive grove, and he and his disciples went into it.

 2Now Judas, who betrayed him, knew the place, because Jesus had often met there with his disciples. 3So Judas came to the grove, guiding a detachment of soldiers and some officials from the chief priests and Pharisees. They were carrying torches, lanterns and weapons.

 4Jesus, knowing all that was going to happen to him, went out and asked them, “Who is it you want?”

 5″Jesus of Nazareth,” they replied.

   “I am he,” Jesus said. (And Judas the traitor was standing there with them.) 6When Jesus said, “I am he,” they drew back and fell to the ground.

 7Again he asked them, “Who is it you want?”
      And they said, “Jesus of Nazareth.”

 8″I told you that I am he,” Jesus answered. “If you are looking for me, then let these men go.” 9This happened so that the words he had spoken would be fulfilled: “I have not lost one of those you gave me.”[a]

 10Then Simon Peter, who had a sword, drew it and struck the high priest’s servant, cutting off his right ear. (The servant’s name was Malchus.)

 11Jesus commanded Peter, “Put your sword away! Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?”

The Gospel of Luke Chapter 22 states this as well: 

47While he was still speaking a crowd came up, and the man who was called Judas, one of the Twelve, was leading them. He approached Jesus to kiss him, 48but Jesus asked him, “Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?”

 49When Jesus’ followers saw what was going to happen, they said, “Lord, should we strike with our swords?” 50And one of them struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his right ear.

 51But Jesus answered, “No more of this!” And he touched the man’s ear and healed him.

Poor Peter – just hours before this little skirmish he told Jesus he was ready to follow him to prison and even death. But Jesus knew better. Peter was passionate to be sure and his passion was actually a stumbling block for the progression of the church and the Gospel. Peter wound up being humbled through incredible failure – he denied knowing Jesus three times.

I’m a former Shaolin Swordsman. I know how heavy swords are and how to properly wield them. The laws of physical science also prove that Peter wasn’t going for the guard’s ear. He was wielding that sword perpendicular to the ground and going for his head. Fortunately the soldier ducked.

How does that apply to today’s world? Well meaning (I hope) and passionate people – people like you and like me – are wielding verbal swords at each other – intending I believe to defend Christ – only we mess it up and cut each other’s ears and heads off with you statements and arrogant piety, and Christ has to intervene and tell us to stop.

My passion for truth can be a stumbling block for many – and it takes the hand of Christ to heal the ears I’ve cut off in my life.

My actions in my life have also denied Christ a time or two. My sword has probably turned more people off than on when it comes to the Christian faith.

I “get” Peter. I understand his love, his wellmeaningness and his passion. I used to carry his sword with me and wielded it any chance I got, confusing those who disagreed with me, with the enemy. Maybe that is why I kinda like some of these younger missionaries I see passionately supporting their stand. They are in the Gethsemane season of life – praying lest they fall into temptation – defending Jesus with all their soul and might – thinking they know what lies ahead, but they really don’t. Not yet. They are living on the dark side of the resurrection if you will. And what I mean by that, is they see the Law – Jesus having to suffer and die for our sins – and they have not lived long enough yet to see the Gospel – The Ressurected Christ, the grace and mercy bestowed upon our lives. They’re not there yet.

They too will be humbled and they too will be restored – just like Peter and the rest of us sword carrying idiots – and soon enough they will learn how to fish again.

Who is the swordsman in your life? Is it you? Or is it someone else. How do you deal with swords that come your way?

This blog post written by Deana O’Hara for Redemption’s Heart. All rights reserved. July 16, 2010

Grateful for His Grace

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I’d shared with many people that I was going to completely fast from Facebook for lent. I wanted to replace the time I normally spend in the virtual world with face time with God. I didn’t tell people in a “hey look at me” way, but rather as a courtesy — meaning if I don’t reply to you today, it’s because I’m not online right now.

My choice wasn’t as practical as I’d originally thought. I couldn’t bring myself to allow friend requests and important messages just sit there, unanswered until April. So my full fast has been reduced to a partial fast, and that’s okay. And since I am not doing it to fulfill some law, but rather as a way to stop using the virtual world to replace what I sometimes find lacking in my real world — live human connection — I can find balance if I so choose.

I’ve spent the past week and a half, leaning deep into the heart of God, studying, praying, and writing about what I’ve learned so far. I’ve loved every minute of it. I’m actively engaged in my studies rather than passively absorbing partial truths. I’ve gone back from being at the foot of the mountain telling Moses to talk to God for me and tell me what he says to being engaged with God myself. It feels good to be fully alive again. (Challenge from a blogging friend).

What is Lent to me?  It’s a time to take time to look at the layers I’ve allowed to build up around my heart. The coats of paint, the stains, and everything else that keeps me from being alive in Christ. It’s not a legal thing, I assure you. It’s a relational thing.

This video sums it up really well. I hope you watch it.

WordPress will not allow me to embed Tangle Videos… so please click here to see it. Furnature and Spirituality.

Open Mouth, Insert Foot.

Deana3 Comments

Have you ever said something you thought was really stupid, expected the worst and received grace instead? I have. I’ve also received the worst when that happens too. Human grace, can be inconsistent. The impulsiveness that comes with being an ADD Redhead, is sometimes a blessing, and sometimes, not. There are days when I really wish the filter between my brain and my mouth worked better. There are also days where I wish I could simply relax and not worry so much about stuff like that.

My husband has a catch phrase for those foot in mouth moments, “This moment brought to you by Attention Deficit Disorder.” and we have learned to laugh them off. I’ve gotten better as I’ve gotten older. I am however still human and when I go on rabbit trails, I like to take people with me for the ride sometimes.

There are people who cannot handle that. And you know, I’m learning how to accept that about them and find different people to hang with. I prefer to surround myself with Grace-Filled people today. I also try to model grace to others as much as possible. In part because I need a lot of grace at times, and in large part, because I’ve noticed that Grace is decidedly lacking in this world. Everyone needs people in their lives who love them unconditionally. People who celebrate our differences and embrace us, rabbit trails and all. I need people like that, and you need people like that.

I was a Rotary International Exchange Student when I was 16. During my year in Sweden we went to the Nobel Awards and was granted an audience with the king. I’d never met a really live king before and I was excited. I imagined that he would be like every fairy tale that I’d ever read. My host family spent weeks preparing me for the event. I had lessons on poise and etiquette, had my hair done, bought new clothes – the whole package. The day finally arrived and we all were a bundle of excitement and nerves. We could not wait to meet this King.

Our group of teenagers formed a circle in the grand palace waiting for his entrance. The rules ran through my head. Don’t make eye contact, bow low, speak only when spoken to and address him only as your grace. A man entered the room, surrounded by security. Looking at him I noticed that he didn’t really look anything like what I’d read about in the books. He wasn’t tall and statuesque. There really wasn’t anything remarkable about him that would set him apart from other men. He looked (gasp) NORMAL. I couldn’t get over it.

By the time he made it to me, my nerves got the best of me, and I forgot every rule I had been told. I made eye-contact, forgot to bow, and instead of waiting to be spoken to and responding with your Grace, I stuck my hand out to shake his and said “Hi, I’m Deana. Wow, you’re shorter than I thought you’d be.” (Open Mouth, insert foot.)

True story – my questionable remark silenced the room and all eyes were on him. Everyone was looking at the King to see how they should react. I was mortified. I suddenly remembered the rules and bowed down as low as I could, hoping he wouldn’t cut off my head or anything.

And then I heard it. The sound of unmerited Grace,laughter. The King was laughing. I felt the hand of Grace while he reached out, took my hand and pulled me back up to a standing position. His eyes were dancing. I hadn’t offended him at all. I’d amused him. I was safe and I was relieved.

Grace, in human form is an awesome gift. When we extend grace to others, we model God’s grace. And while the level of grace I model isn’t always in top form and is very contingent on my mood or day, God’s Grace is eternal and for that, I am grateful.

I’d love to hear from you – can you share with me a time where you tripped up, expected the worst, but received Grace instead.

Copyright: Deana O’Hara, Redemption’s Heart. 2009.