This blog will seem random – and I guess it is.. It’s not my typical happiness blog – but part of a bigger personal psalms piece. It makes sense to me and is actually part of a bigger story to be explained later.

There are seasons, that are rough to bear. Storms that keep us soaking wet and unable to stand. Realities that lay thick in fog. Days where the devil seems to win, and God seems distant. Hold strong, and wait for the rider to appear.

In due time

There are seasons where it seems like the devil is winning
But they are only seasons
Not life times.

Things you should be able to trust become untrustworthy
they trick you into thinking they need you
or that you need them.
They tell you lies
About how special you are
How important you are
How they need you
Because you aren’t like “them”

Only “them” doesn’t seem to bad,

The longer you listen to the lies
“them” no longer seems to like you.

He’s good at that

The liar
And the thief

He needs you
To hide behind
Because he can’t face himself.

He’s told you the truth
You are special
You are needed
but not like this.

He twists it
Much like an unwanted vine twists over a fence
It’s the wrong vine
He’s grafting you to.
Don’t take hold.

He knows your weaknesses
He knows your fears
He knows your needs

He zones in on them
And Exploits them

Rather than listen the spirit
Who warns of an enemy near.
You feel fear
lack of faith
Or think yourself the enemy.

You feel betrayed but don’t why
And think maybe it’s just you.

You want to tell
But no one hears you
Or wants to listen

He’s built a wall of lies between you and them
Trying to keep you for himself
Trying to stay unexposed.

You believe the wall but
It’s just apparition
A figment of his imagination
Created for you.
and you believe it as if it were real.

It’s fog
If you reached your hand out
It would go right through
But you don’t.

You’ve stopped trusting, even yourself.

So you sit
And you wait
For the author of truth
To bring darkness to light

Time passes
Too slowly it seems
And soon
When things are almost forgotten

The rider appears
faithful and true

He is trustworthy
He is your redeemer

A sword in his mouth
Cutting the darkness
Showing the truth

No longer will you be called forsaken
Arise and shine
Daughter of Zion
For your time has come.

Standing
With no one to blackmail
Or blame
Or darken the sun.

Clothe yourself instead
with
Humility
Forgiveness
And grace.

Knowing your God has heard you.

————————–

We serve to an audience of one. But it’s easy to forget that. At times our witness appears to deny Christ, and we are denied in return. Been there, done that. I found an old prayer journal the other day. It was written during one of the worst fire storms of my life. A season where everyone it seemed had turned against me, and the enemy lay in wait – a season where the wrong choices felt right. A time where I almost threw it all away, I prayed.

One of my prayers was simple really – “Dear Lord, when the world has turned against me, teach me now how to seek out only you. Let your approval be all I need.”

I learned how to play to an audiance of one.