Category: Family Life

Meet my family and follow along as we traverse the sometimes unfamiliar waters of ADHD, Epilepsy, and life as a ministry family.

FGP Say’s I’m Not a Wheenie!

Deana1 Comment

Shaolin Kung Fu with SiFu Rick ThomasOn July 11, Runner’s World starts its free Tulsa Run training groups every Saturday morning. Runs start with stretching at 6:45 a.m. at Veterans Park, 21st Street and Boulder Avenue. There will be beginner and advanced 15k race training groups, and a 5k race training group. – Carrie Aspinwall

 

 

I am not a wheenie… did you see that? There are training groups for the Tulsa Run, including a training group for the 5K race. I love it. So, I can now proudly say (Because Carrie put it in print) that I am TRAINING for the 5K – life is so good.

So, who might you ask, is Carrie Aspinwall? Carrie is the Fitness Guinea Pig for the Tulsa World and she is training for the Tulsa Run. Carrie is also the women who turned me away from boot camp (Yikes!) and on to Zumba, a real live exercise/dance like class thing. If Carrie says it’s fun, we try it. Carrie knows healthy living.

I have three favorite Columinists with the Tulsa World. Carrie, Natalie Mikles and Jason Ashley Wright. Between them they cover everything this girl wants to know about Fitness, Food, and Fashion. Call me shallow, but hey, I like what I like. Which might explain why I know so little about politics. Either way.

I wasn’t always overweight, but I have always had issues with food. The smallest I’ve ever been is a size six and that was 20 years ago. I tend average around a size 10-12, which is an acceptable size for me. Right now, I average about 40ish pounds over that ideal and I need to get back in shape. I love working out. Seven years ago I studied Tia Chi and helped teach Shaolin Kungfu to kids at the YMCA. I could even do a really cool back kick back then. My father in law thought that was hilarious and warned my husband that life as he officially knew it was forever changed.

 I also enjoyed walking until I blew out my ACL playing church softball five years ago. Oddly enough I loved Re-hab. I had my own personal fitness trainer for two hours, twice a week and enjoyed every minute of it. Then my knee healed, and I was released and afraid to do anything else.

Since then I have been on many diets trying to lose 10-15 lbs and wound up gaining 40. In the past five years I’ve Weight Watched, Metifasted, Atkinsed, Acaiberried, green tea-ed till-I-peed-green my sorry self all the way to LA Weightloss and South Beach, only to diet  my way up to what I weigh now. I’m thinking I’ve done every diet out there from A-Z. That plus now when people comment on my “new” look, I tend to hoover brownies in response. Not cool.

So, I’m counting my calories – or at least trying to and I’m in training again. Yeah it’s for a 5k, a lousy 3.10 mile race. But so what. It’s a start. I didn’t start of doing spinning back kicks and wielding swords – or doing a perfect horse stance for five minutes when I did martial arts, I had to build up. Okay, actually I had to stop ducking when SiFu kicked in my direction – but the point is, I started somewhere.

This is my somewhere.

Sacred Beauty

Deana1 Comment

beauty1A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of his life, in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul.  ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

 

 

It is my fourth trip to Nashville, Tennessee, in almost as many months. Three I’ve driven and only once did I fly.  There is something sacred about the drive.  The scenery takes on new shapes while my car travels from the lowlands of Oklahoma through the Ozarks. Following a now known route, we find our way to the Cumberland mountains. My car climbs the summits and explores the valleys. The drive feels more like a pilgramage to me than a trip. It is as if I am following some small distant voice, searching not for greener pastures but rather a closer view of the face of God. Beauty was calling me, and I wanted to find her.

I am at home in the mountains. My grandfather once had a cabin in the foothills of the Andirondacks. Being in the mountains, any mountain brings me back to those days. In the mountains, my soul finds rest, my spirit soars, I am surrounded by beauty and I am reminded of God.

The trip to Round Cove to spend time with Randy and Chris Elrod was an anniversary gift to my husband. To say that the last twelve months have been busy is an understatement. We needed time to get away.

Randy and Chris graciously opened their hearts, their spirits and their time to us for 48 hours. They offered insight, fellowship, prayers, and encouragement. The cove itself offers everything that this female heart desires; Adventure, Romance (Relationship), and beauty to unveil. 

There is one piece of the story I don’t have a picture for. Jeff, Randy, Nordeck and I traveled to the Cave at Round Cove. I’m not sure how many feet under the ground this cave is, I just know that traveling to it takes work. It’s rugged, and it’s dark. It is not for the faint of heart.

Randy and Nordeck led the way and I traveled behind Jeff. We stepped over rocks, and pieces of wood and even though I was directly behind him the minute his lamp left my feet I was surrounded in darkness and couldn’t find my footing. I was struck by that and remembered the psalms – Thy word is a lamp unto my feet. Without God’s word and his marking my steps, I have trouble finding my footing.

Even more breathtaking was the beauty that was hidden under those layers of rock. The cave was spectacular. And even though I was unsure of my footing and spent my time in the cave sitting in a chair, I could not help but be taken in by it was giving to me in return for my attention. I was willing to put the effort into traveling down passed the rocks and branches and the earth opened up and returned beauty in payment.

 Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul.  ~John Muir

Our Beautiful View
Our Beautiful View

 

Daily Bread - Bounty from the garden (Photo Credit: Randy Elrod)
Daily Bread - Bounty from the garden (Photo Credit: Randy Elrod)

 

A place to play (Jeff playing his new song for us) l-r: Randy, Nordeck, and Jeff.
A place to play (Jeff playing his new song for us) l-r: Randy, Nordeck, and Jeff.
A place to pray
A place to pray

Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything that is beautiful, for beauty is God’s handwriting — a wayside sacrament. Welcome it in every fair face, in every fair sky, in every flower, and thank God for it as a cup of blessing. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

 

Every herd needs a black sheep ad she is so sweet.
Every herd needs a black sheep and she is so sweet.

 

rocky 150We also had the joy of gathering eggs each morning. The chicken’s did not seem to mind, but the rooster sure did. Jeff had to hold him back with a stick while I gathered the eggs.  

 

 

 

 

Bread before dinner
Every meal was a sacred communion

 

A New Creation
A New Creation

I find this last picture fitting –

The glasses say Kalien - Beauty Calling
The glasses say Kalein – Beauty Calling

As wonderful as the time away was and as the mountains are, I am reminded not only of God’s provision, His love and His Grace, I am also reminded of the heart that He placed inside of me. I cannot see in my surroundings, or other people, those things that do not already exist in myself.  I bring with me what I find in any place whether it be beauty, turmoil, or relationship and joy.

I carry the heart of Eve. The lightness of soul and spirit. Joy in the simple things, peace in fellowship. It is the truth of who we are (His Beloved) and what are created to be.

So, the only question is, do we answer the call?

Father’s Day Dinner

DeanaLeave a comment

I’ll be honest. I have not cooked for a few months now. Life has been  hectic and I’ve simply taken the cheaters route of filling the fridge up with wraps and various simple to create sundries and have told my family to “have at it.” And then we went to The Cove. Wow, was I ever inspired by Randy’s cooking. He stepped us through every process and the whole living foods he used to create his dishes were timeless. I loved every minute of it. So, having been inspired by some of the best food I’ve ever eaten at the Cove, I decided to cook my own Italian Dinner for Father’s Day. Granted, I don’t have a pasta turner thingie like he had, (yet) the results were still spectacular.

2009 405 We started off with a simple salad made of roasted pine nuts, chopped red and green peppers, red lettuce, celery, fresh basil, fresh mint, shredded carrots, and grape tomatoes.

 

 

 

 

 

2009 404Our main course is my own creation – Manicotti stuffed with diced chicken, spinach, italian parsley, dried oregano and Feta cheese. I place the stuffed shells on a bed of diced tomatoes and cover it with alfredo sauce and parm cheese. Bake at 350 degrees for one hour and 15 minutes.

 

 

 

 

2009 408

And to compliment the meal, we enjoyed a La Crema Chardonney recommended by our friends at The Cove. For dessert I offered strawberry shortcake.

 

Ah yes – to be cooking again is a glorious thing.

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Father’s Day ya’ll.

An Awesome Day

DeanaLeave a comment

I gave birth – via C-Cection – to a wonderful 7 lb 1 oz baby boy on June 10, 1993. Dillon’s lungs were not fully developed and he was what they call a “blue baby” and he was rushed to the EOPC at St Francis Hospital, where he spent 14 days before they let me take him home.

My grandfather also died that day and Dillon’s middle name, “Raymond” is in his honor.

Dillon’s first night was a rough one and the doctors were not sure he would make it. It was that night that I surrendered my life back to Christ, and offered God a trade – my life for his. Some call that a selfish prayer, but I don’t. It was in that moment that I really understood why Christ offered his life as a ransom for many. It was in that moment that I knew what it was like to be willing to lay down my life for another.

Dillon turns 16 today – he and his brother are the absolute light of my life. The song with this photo montage’ was written by Dillon and his father in about 2004 and recorded at the Lutheran Church of Our Savior, Tulsa, in 2004.

This song was written while Dillon’s epilepsy was still active. He’d had a rough day of multiple seizures and was hospitalized for observation. After he got home, Jeff heard him singing this song around the house. Jeff put music to it, and they sang it at church for Easter.

 

Copywrite: Dillon O’Hara – song may not be reprinted or performed without express written permission of author.

Cliff Diving in Oklahoma, Lessons on Letting Go

Deana1 Comment

CCA Conference-14My son Charlie jumped off a cliff last month while in Belize, answering the age old question  “If your friends all jumped off a cliff would you do it too?”

Apparently the correct answer is “YES Mom, I would. “

Cliff jumping was his moment of facing his fears (heights) and even though it goes against every motherhood protective instinct I have, I’m proud of him.

Charlie faces two more cliffs when he gets home; High School graduation and delivering his Valedictorian speach. My son faces his fears valiantly. I could not be more proud.

He will go on to jump off more cliffs in life – college, dating, working, marriage, etc.. and I know that God will be with him and it’s okay  even if my heart doesn’t want to let him go.

As  this season of “Charlie’s Mom” closes a little for me, I know that I have my own cliffs to face. Letting him go is just one of them. I also have a 16 year old at home who wants to be let go of as well. Dillon is learning how to drive and wants all of the freedoms that come with that.  

With Dillon’s epilepsy, I’ve had a hard time letting him go. When it comes to him, I’m more of a helicopter Mom than anything else. As time presses forward, I know that I need to learn how to step back more and let him try his wings, lest I cripple him before I let him go. He and I are both standing on the edge of that cliff, looking at the river below – there will come a day, too quickly for me, where jumping will be necessary and not optional.

In letting go, I’m learning how to try my own wings. I jumped off my own cliff this week. I drove to Nashville, went to the Christian Comedy Association Conference and did a three minute stand up set during open mic in front of some of the biggest names in Christian Comedy today.

I wanted to throw up.

But I didn’t.

The trick to surviving cliff jumping – is to not do it alone.  Charlie’s friends were all waiting for him in that River and in that graduation hall – they cheered him on. They bandaged eachother’s nicks and scrapes up afterwards as well.

My friends and I are facing empty nests together – we aren’t alone on that cliff. And as for comedy, I’ve been staring at that cliff for several years now. This year, I jumped and in doing that, I found new friends waiting in the river.

What cliffs are you facing today?

What a Month it was

DeanaLeave a comment
My Good Looking Family (Charlie, me, Dillon, and Jeff)
My Good Looking Family (Charlie, me, Dillon, and Jeff)

This has been the craziest couple of weeks I’ve had in forever. And it has been wonderful. Mom arrived on the 15, Charlie came back from Belize on the 17 and then graduation on the 22.

We’ve cleaned, visited, partied, cleaned again, and visited some more. It’s hard to believe that my son is now a high school graduate and that Mom went home today. I miss her already. I miss him already too and he hasn’t left for college yet.

This is going to be a busy busy summer for all of us. Charlie leaves for MO, and I’m leaving for Murphreesboro TN this weekend. He is going to be a camp counselor for special needs kids, and I’m going to comedy camp. 😉 It’ll be fun.

This is just the beginning of wonderful things for all of us and instead of being scared – like I usually am – I’m excited. That is a good thing.

Wordless Wednesday – sorta ;-)

DeanaLeave a comment

Charlie is home from the Billy White Mission in Belize!!! Yeah!!

beforeandafterbelize

 

This is graduation week and we are pretty swamped.. But I”ll have more information regarding life in Oklahoma and the trip to Belize next week.

Hugs

Deana

From Vasectomies to Coupons – everyone is cutting back these days

DeanaLeave a comment
This recession is hitting all of us these days. I know for our family of four, my learning how to cook on a more reasonable budget is vital. Learning how to cut coupons to help save us money, is equally important. I’ve used coupons in the past but according to Sarah Roe, I’m using them ineffectively. She uses coupons, sales and even double coupon days to purchase her items for free if not close to it. Her system takes a lot of work and dedication, but it is learnable she says and my husband is all for cutting back.
On other news fronts people are taking more drastic cuts these days.
ABC news reported this statement. “Lawrence Ross, a urologist and former president of the American Urological Association, said he and his colleagues have noticed a roughly 50 percent increase in vasectomies in the past four to six months, which he attributes in part to the ailing economy.”

Vasectomies are up 50%?  Wow. That is pretty drastic if you ask me. If given the choice, I’m thinking my husband would rather clip coupons.

Granted we’ve already been through that “procedure” a few years ago, but it still seems drastic, not to mention expensive if you don’t have insurance. I know I said “we” and you married couples out there are probably thinking I’m using the universal “we;” the one that means HE and not ME. But I don’t. We were there together in the same room through the whole procedure.

His doctor ran a guilt trip on me, and so being co-dependant, I went in to support him. I carried a grudge for a while there and I almost puked. Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband and I will follow him anywhere, I just didn’t expect to follow him to the urologists office and procedure room.

There were no training classes for this. No Lamaze, no shoulder rubbing or funny breathing, just me in a room with nothing to do but watch. I tried to be cute, and that went badly. I did bring a magazine in with me from the lobby. It was “Appaloosa Monthly” – their stud for hire edition. Pages and pages of pictures of big beautiful Arnold Schartzenegger looking horses for hire. Their prices ranged from $1,000 – 10,000 per encounter. I thought it was fascinating until I got the part about skipping all the romance and they’ll just send you the stuff and you can do it yourself. If you are going to read magazines like that while you are in the room with a man having a vasectomy – don’t ponder things like “I wonder how they do that?” out loud. Just saying, it’s a bad idea.  And it’s really bad form to bust out laughing from reading while doctors are handling sharp objects around your mates nether regions.

I wasn’t going to go in. I really just wanted to wait for him in the waiting room. I did my good wifey job, I drove him there. I was going to drive him home, fill his pain script and baby him for a few days. Wasn’t that enough? Apparently not according to his doctor. Sparkey hit me this this guilt trip.

“Oh now but he was there for you when you delivered your babies. All things being equal, shouldn’t you be there for him?”

All things being equal? I’ve been married almost 20 years, all things are not equal. Never have been. I mean sure, he brings home the money and I spend it. I cook the dinners and he eats them. He wears clothes and I wash them. Balanced, maybe, but not equal. Besides, what does a vasectomy have to do with childbirth? Other than the obvious. I was there, all things are NOT equal.

I gave birth to my oldest in a teaching hospital in Chicago. Now there’s a meet and greet opportunity right there. I met everyone from the janitor to the Chicago Bears that day. Oh no, that’s not right, I met the janitor and the Bears were playing on TV in my private birthing room – where my whole family, friends and various strangers gathered to share this joyous event and ignoring me completely. When I screamed, they just thought I was chearing on our team.

I still remember when my OB came in with her little entourage’ of wannabe doctors and who knows who else. She was checking me over and then turned to everyone and said, “Okay, who wants to tell me how far she’s dilated.”

I was really hoping she was talking about my eyes.

She wasn’t.

Then I hoped they were going to guess.

They didn’t. They had to measure.

I won’t tell you how they measured. I’ll just say that everyone got a turn, including the janitor.

I am happy that I went in with him though for his procedure – even if he was jumping up and down behind the doctor waving his arms and shaking his head no. I just told him he didn’t need to be brave for me and that I would be happy to be the supporting spouse he’d always dreamed of having. And I promised not to laugh or anything. I’m glad I went in, the poor guy didn’t have a clue what the drink holders were for and I had to explain it. So I guess he really did need me afterall.

Delivering our babies was a wonderful experience in retrospect, but that could just be an epidural induced hallucination. I got the epidural shortly after Jeff leaned in close to kiss me and a contraction hit. Poor guy spent the rest of the day sitting in a corner, slapping his ear with his hand and answering imaginary phones. But all in all, it was a good day, surrounded by friends, in a nice calm room, watching the Bears play, and taking pictures. They even let Jeff cut the cord.

I will admit, giving birth is a much better experience than having a vasectomy, and all things are not equal by a long shot. No TV, no visitors, no real drugs for either of us, no cameras and well.. If you ask the urologist if he’ll let you cut the cord – you’ll get escorted back to the waiting room.

We should have stuck with coupons.

Mission Impossible

DeanaLeave a comment

n593046555_1389948_8118Dropping my 18 year old off at the airport for his first out of the country mission trip was far more difficult for me, than it was for him. Charlie is excited, and I’m well, not so much. I had to leave before I started crying. Afterall I don’t want to embarass the kid in front of his friends.

This is just part of a long list of firsts, all of them life changing in some way or another.

 

The first day of school

His first time to Camp Lutherhoma

His first youth trip to Branson

National Youth Gathering in Orlando

His first Date

Prom

Camp Barnabus where he served as a camp counselor for special needs kids

And Now Belize.

I’ll be dropping him off again in August only this time it will be college.

Will he be ready? Oh yeah.

Will I?

I doubt it.

I am So Busted

DeanaLeave a comment
Gotta love the 80's
Gotta love the 80's

 

When helping a child with a homework project that involves scrapbooking, make sure all should be hidden photos – ARE.

Sadly, this is me from the 80’s. After seeing this, my youngest has informed me that I am N-E-V-E-R allowed to criticize his choice in clothing ever again.

People sometimes ask what I did with all of my clown school clothing once I dropped out, and from looking at this photo, it is pretty safe to say I took them with me to college. I even had the overly teased / flammable hair thanks to aqua-net. That stuff was good man. I even used it to shellac spiders to the wall in my bathroom.

Anybody else out there remember the 80’s?