I bought clips for my bike the other week to help make my rides more efficient. After the bike shop mechanic installed the new pedals and I tried them out for size, I asked if they were difficult to unclip.
His exact words? “Oh no! My daughter got hit by a truck once and she came right out of them”
That is so reassuring.
I’m going to die, aren’t I?
I just found out that my gynecologist is hard of hearing.
All these years and I never knew that.
It’s okay though.
Turns out, he can read lips.
Yesterday was my last day for physical therapy. My PT showed me how to use a kitchen plunger to break up scar tissue on my left hip and told me to try it at home. That was not a good idea.
1. I’m ADD
2. Plungers leave hickeys
3. They also stick really well.
I’m a married woman covered in hickeys with a plunger stuck to my left hip. I am not long for this world.
There is apparently a new tradition going around this year called “Elf on a Shelf.” Some elves are good and some are mischievous I had something similar to that growing up, we called it “rats in the pantry.” They were pretty mischievous as well, but at least they left us presents every day.
I miss the good old days when I innocently believed
that the worst thing I could ever have in a sling
was my arm.
Deana O'Hara - Speaker, Comedian, Writer 