A friend posted today – “”If you could read my mind, I’m pretty sure you’d be traumatized for life.”

I know the feeling. I’ve read my mind, it’s not the best place to get lost in and I usually try not to go there alone.

My youngest graduated high school last week and we spent the week going through old photos.

Old photos trigger memories some good, some well.. best left in the box in the bottom of the closet.

No not really, that’s a lie from Satan- those memories need the supernatural touch of Christ. They too are redemptive.

While I was looking for our old pictures I found a box full of tapes and a journal from twenty years ago. It’s not one of those cute diaries from when we were kids either. It was me at 28. Heartbroken, lost, confused and scared out of my mind. I’d just joined my very first church ever and I felt like I was sneaking into heaven on a borrowed halo.

I am here to tell you that my Christian walk has not been pretty. It’s full of missteps, starts, stops, highs and lows. I think that’s okay today. My heart grieves a bit for that young confused woman who was so afraid of God and everyone else, including herself. I like that my faith in God doesn’t come in a neatly wrapped bow with pretty wrapping paper. It’s muddy and messy and wholly mine because I am wholly His.

When my mentors ran out of words and ways to reach through my brick walls they handed me tapes. I have old videos of Ken Davis, The Gaithers, Joyce Meyer, and a bunch of Kay Arthur. They reached me when no one else could.

When my son’s school chose to play a Gloria Gaither video at graduation, I figured it was a sign or something. A nod from God that says “I see you. Remember when?” Those crocodile tears that fell that night were not tears of shame, but of gratitude for all he’s done in my life.

Ephesians tells me that I am the Beloved of God. In love: I am blessed, chosen, adopted, redeemed, forgiven and an heir with Christ.

Salvation isn’t just fire insurance.

Jesus didn’t die just to keep me out of hell.

He rose again that I too might live abundantly.

One of my all time favorite Gaither songs says “He that sat upon the throne said behold, I make all things new. ”

Yes He does.

And if it isn’t new, He isn’t finished yet.