Category: Words of Encouragement

Letting Go (Let Go and Let God)

Deana20 Comments

Once upon a time, or as most tales go, a young gal with a heart full of love and compassion heard a story that made her very sad. Being two pennies short of common sense, she came to believe that she could fix this problem and therefore set herself up as a shield of protection.

Forgetting the words of John the Baptist,

“I am not the Christ.”

she stretched out her arms

and stood in the gap

between those who threatened harm

and the one she was protecting.

If she just tried hard enough,

she believed or fought hard enough,

protected long enough,

everything would be okay.

Only everything wasn’t okay. The harder she stood her ground, the harder they fought and the more he seemed to need her. The more she did to protect him, the less he seemed willing to do for himself and the less honest he became.

Once she realized that no man

carries a burden that someone else

is willing to bear or faces a truth

that no one is willing to tell him

and that he’d grown weaker

and not stronger like she’d hoped,

she laid down his cross

and took up her own.

She meant well and it almost cost her life. In time she remembered the words of the one in the desert. The one who’s role was to make straight the crooked path, and point believers to the one who would come after him. She remembered that “standing in the gap” means standing in prayer and support, not in self-sacrifice.

She found a note one day, written just for her and other two-penny-short friends who mean well. Together, she and her new friends, trudged the road of happy destiny. They laughed, leaned on each other, and stayed under the protective wings of the God they no longer needed to pretend to be.

Letting Go

  • To “Let Go” does not mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else.
  • To “Let Go” is not to cut myself off, it’s the realization I can’t control another. To “Let Go” is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
  • To “Let Go” is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
  • To “Let Go” is not to try to change or blame another, it’s to make the most of myself.
  • To “Let Go” is not to care for, but to care about.
  • To “Let Go” is not to fix, but to be supportive.
  •  To “Let Go” is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
  •  To “Let Go” is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.
  •  To “Let Go” is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality.
  • To “Let Go” is not to deny, but to accept.
  • To “Let Go” is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
  • To “Let Go” is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it.
  •  To “Let Go” is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
  • To “Let Go” is to fear less and love more. – Unknown.

Letting Go – is my knowing that I cannot play God and believe in God at the same time.

If someone’s addictions are causing you pain, these groups can help.

Al-Anon If someone’s drinking is causing you pain, Al-Anon can help

S-Anon S-Anon is a program of recovery for those who have been affected by someone else’s sexual behavior.

Sanity Support:  Do you have an adult child who is breaking your heart? An aging parent taking up your whole life? A problem with food? A co-worker making you hate your job? Learn how you can find SANITY and take back your life.

This post written by Deana O’Hara for Redemption’s Heart. July 22 2009 and may not be copied in any way shape or form.

Alive in Love – Brennan Manning

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I’m digging through boxes, searching for books to keep and books to give away. Each new box is like a treasure trove of discovery. Every book I own has meaning and depth to it. Having played some small part in who I am today, each book has it’s own season in my life.  Maybe that’s why I want so desperately to be an author. I want to pay it forward in any way I can. God and I are still working out the how in that desire.  For now he has planted me at a Mission Start and I love it.

While digging I found a book that I had purchased but never read. Being a bibliophile that is not unusual for me.  Being Summer, I thought this was the perfect time to open this gift and so I am reading The Furious Longing of God by Brennan Manning.

I love it when I ask God to speak to me and he surprizes me with these little things. It’s a simple book really with a haunting question – Is the Gospel Alive and Real to you right now?

Although this book is full of great insight and many quotes to choose from, this one jumps out. Brennan had very rudely dismissed someone one while trying to impress others – she responded with saying “Jesus never would have talked to Mary Magdaline like that.” and then she was gone.

I love his honesty – I love when he askes this question –

How could she believe in the love of a God she can’t see when she couldn’t find even a trace of love in the eyes of a brother wearing a clerical collar whom she could see?

… and they will know we are Christians by our love, by our love, yes they’ll know we are Christians by our love.. or not.

That is a great question for me to ponder today. I can be harsh with pastors – I don’t trust them. My pastor knows that, and we do okay. Actually, we do better than okay, mainly because I already know that I am loved, not just by him, but by God himself.

That wasn’t always the case. There was a day when I would search the eyes for approval. I don’t have to do that today. God is an amazing healer. Just ask anyone who remembers the day when I had to sit on my hands in church so that no one could see how badly they shook. And to make matters worse, my voice shook for years as badly as my hands.

I’m putting that out there, not as a victim, but rather as a woman aware of my scars. And as a woman who wants to heal and overcome.

And my question when faced with Brennan’s truth isn’t, “What do I see?”, but rather ” What do people see when they look into my eyes? ”

Of Whine and Roses

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“When you do tell your story, don’t sound like the victim. If you do, you’ll sound like you’re whining. Just be truthful in telling your story and aim to discover that slice of humanity that others can relate to.” David Pierce, author of “Don’t Let Me Go.”

Ever pick up a case of the whines without realizing it? I do that and I don’t mean to. I hate it when I catch myself doing it too. When sharing facts, I can forget the good pieces that came of whatever situation it was. Case in point. I went through an incredible season of sifting that has brought amazing fruit and yet these places in my heart are still tender, still mending, and giving voice to them, hurts a little and it comes out all wrong. I caught myself doing that a lot last week at the Cove and man did that ever frustrate me.

I learned so much in that season several years ago. I learned about letting go, about not having to be the Christ for everyone I meet, about boundaries, fear, idols, and about trusting God. Mostly, I learned how to play for an audience of One. Those are wonderful gifts to share. When I remember to share them that is. The problem is, I don’t always remember.

I know that I am not the first person in the world to feel forsaken or to feel like I’ve been handed over to Satan on a silver platter – as if to say, “Here, she won’t listen to me so you have a go at her.” I’m inspired by authors who are willing to tell the truth. Men like Philip Yancey who seem to bleed when they write. In a good way. Me? Sometimes I bleed, sometimes I vomit. Mostly, I stuff.

That paints a lovely picture, doesn’t it? Instead of the cute Irish Chia Pet, I’m that baby on the commercials buying stock and spitting up all at the same time. Ewww.

So how do I find that balance that David talks about? Talking with people I trust. Learning how to say I know there is something in here that can help someone else, please help me find the right words.

4852_90879174043_821739043_1848473_4212151_nbMy husband caught a great quote of mine last week. The ice storm of 2007 destroyed all of our trees and instead of shade we now have sunshine and I planted flowers. Was it a lot of work? Oh yes. Clearing out dead trees and building beds IS hard work and yet- out of the storm came sunshine, and new life and a new creaton and that is a good thing.

Where Nobody knows your name.

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Simplicity, Room for the Holy Spirit
Simplicity, Room for the Holy Spirit

Do you remember the opening song for that old TV show “Cheers?”

“Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name.”  la da de da..

Well, we needed time to unplug and go where no one really knew our name. We needed time to meet new faces, and new people and see new sights. We needed an adventure without drama. Ever been there?

I plan on writing more about our adventures with Randy and Chris Elrod at later times – along with everything else I’ve promised. But I did want to just write some thoughts for today.  I caught myself telling Jeff this weekend that I do not understand the past 12 months. I don’t understand the serendipity of God’s Grace. The doors that are opening.  All of it. and I used the phrase, “I’m no body. Why is He (being God) doing this?”

Jeff’s great response was to tell me the first thing I need to do is stop thinking I’m nobody, and start believing that God sees me as somebody. I’m feeling guilty for the Grace. Odd, really.

Do I really struggle with that? Still? Apparently so.

The past seven years, while we worked on dreaming of a church, dreaming of ministry, dreaming of our second life – the life we have post corporate careers and post children has been full of adventure and mixed emotions. I’ve had a lot of healing to do.

It’s just occurred to me really, that I am ending a seven year cycle. One that began on cloud nine with a new church, a new job working in a church, a new “ministry” and a cycle that ended (for me) at the Cove. These seven years have brought me an entire roller coaster of emotions, events, and dreams. I’ve hit every peak I thought possible and more valleys than imaginable. And I find myself sitting again on the precipice of change; wiser and more discerning and still excited.

I find myself searching for words to describe what it’s like to be somewhere where nobody really knows my name with the only two people who did (that being Jeff and God) and feeling known in ways I can’t yet explain.

I mean this post as a dialog really. But I’m at a loss how to start it. So I’ll simply ask this have you ever thought you were nobody and found out that you were the world to at least somebody?

An Awesome Day

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I gave birth – via C-Cection – to a wonderful 7 lb 1 oz baby boy on June 10, 1993. Dillon’s lungs were not fully developed and he was what they call a “blue baby” and he was rushed to the EOPC at St Francis Hospital, where he spent 14 days before they let me take him home.

My grandfather also died that day and Dillon’s middle name, “Raymond” is in his honor.

Dillon’s first night was a rough one and the doctors were not sure he would make it. It was that night that I surrendered my life back to Christ, and offered God a trade – my life for his. Some call that a selfish prayer, but I don’t. It was in that moment that I really understood why Christ offered his life as a ransom for many. It was in that moment that I knew what it was like to be willing to lay down my life for another.

Dillon turns 16 today – he and his brother are the absolute light of my life. The song with this photo montage’ was written by Dillon and his father in about 2004 and recorded at the Lutheran Church of Our Savior, Tulsa, in 2004.

This song was written while Dillon’s epilepsy was still active. He’d had a rough day of multiple seizures and was hospitalized for observation. After he got home, Jeff heard him singing this song around the house. Jeff put music to it, and they sang it at church for Easter.

 

Copywrite: Dillon O’Hara – song may not be reprinted or performed without express written permission of author.

Cliff Diving in Oklahoma, Lessons on Letting Go

Deana1 Comment

CCA Conference-14My son Charlie jumped off a cliff last month while in Belize, answering the age old question  “If your friends all jumped off a cliff would you do it too?”

Apparently the correct answer is “YES Mom, I would. “

Cliff jumping was his moment of facing his fears (heights) and even though it goes against every motherhood protective instinct I have, I’m proud of him.

Charlie faces two more cliffs when he gets home; High School graduation and delivering his Valedictorian speach. My son faces his fears valiantly. I could not be more proud.

He will go on to jump off more cliffs in life – college, dating, working, marriage, etc.. and I know that God will be with him and it’s okay  even if my heart doesn’t want to let him go.

As  this season of “Charlie’s Mom” closes a little for me, I know that I have my own cliffs to face. Letting him go is just one of them. I also have a 16 year old at home who wants to be let go of as well. Dillon is learning how to drive and wants all of the freedoms that come with that.  

With Dillon’s epilepsy, I’ve had a hard time letting him go. When it comes to him, I’m more of a helicopter Mom than anything else. As time presses forward, I know that I need to learn how to step back more and let him try his wings, lest I cripple him before I let him go. He and I are both standing on the edge of that cliff, looking at the river below – there will come a day, too quickly for me, where jumping will be necessary and not optional.

In letting go, I’m learning how to try my own wings. I jumped off my own cliff this week. I drove to Nashville, went to the Christian Comedy Association Conference and did a three minute stand up set during open mic in front of some of the biggest names in Christian Comedy today.

I wanted to throw up.

But I didn’t.

The trick to surviving cliff jumping – is to not do it alone.  Charlie’s friends were all waiting for him in that River and in that graduation hall – they cheered him on. They bandaged eachother’s nicks and scrapes up afterwards as well.

My friends and I are facing empty nests together – we aren’t alone on that cliff. And as for comedy, I’ve been staring at that cliff for several years now. This year, I jumped and in doing that, I found new friends waiting in the river.

What cliffs are you facing today?

Keep Telling Your Stories

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I wake up some days on top of the world. Other days I wake up feeling like I would rather be under my blankets. I am woman, and I can be moody. If you read my blog, you know that about me.

You also know that I have a tendancy to compare my insides with other people’s outsides and sometimes I think my “story” isn’t worth telling. Nobody really wants to hear about a kid that tried to join church after church, only to be turned down because I was too young. No one cares that my neighbors took me to church as a teenager or that the first “evangelist” I heard was a child star from the popular show from the 70’s and 80’s and that God spoke to me through her.

I get confused and think my story is trivial compared to the ones out there, and then I remember that my story, really is his. And when I’m filled with doubts, God uses someone else to speak to me again.

Today is the 15th, that means I log on to Beth Moore’s LMP blog and post my memory verse. While I was there leaving my verse, I read this:

 

 

Keep telling your stories, Sweet Siestas. Don’t decide it wasn’t that big a deal after all…or that maybe you made it up, or that maybe it was just a coincidence. It was GOD. Revelation 12:13 says we overcome the enemy by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of our testimonies! Let’s open our mouths wide and tell it. – Beth Moore

That is a now kind of word for a now kind of need.

What is funny is my memory verse is straight out of Philippians 1:6 – “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion unti lthe day of Christ Jesus.”

How appropriate is that?  This little girl that no church wanted as a child, has confidence today because of Christ and HIS work that he carries out daily, hourly, moment by moment, to completion.  He doesn’t get board with you or with me and leave us half finished. He COMPLETES his work in us. The enemy is overcome by the blood of the Lamb and by our testimony.

Be blessed. I am.

 

 

Understanding Our Identity in Christ

Deana9 Comments

CJ Rapp

I AM says, “You Are…” Blog Tour Interview

iam-cover_1952I AM says, “You Are…” Understanding Your Identity in Christ is the first book by Bible teacher and speaker CJ Rapp. Not only does this book explore your rock solid identity in Christ, it also helps the reader identify patterns of thinking that threaten healthy self-esteem. For each daily devotional, questions have been included. These questions provide an opportunity for personal study or for sharing the journey with a small group. It’s perfect for women’s ministry groups to use as a six week study.

What inspired you to write I AM says, “You Are…” Understanding Your Identity in Christ?

One of the biggest challenges in my life has been overcoming insecurity and low self-esteem. In fact, my journey was long and difficult. My low self-esteem began during my teen years and remained into my thirties.

In my late twenties I began to follow Christ. I committed my life to Him and began to read the Bible. As I read, I discovered that His Word actually contradicted lies I had long believed about my worth and my value. His words were kind, compassionate, and full of love. The more I read the more I realized that God loved me and that he didn’t think I was stupid, ugly, or worthless. Instead His Word says that I am priceless, a masterpiece, a treasure, and I am His child. He even loved me enough to send His Son to die for me. That was shocking! The girl who grew up believing that she had little worth or value was passionately loved and desired by the Creator of the universe! It was life changing for me. Through my study, acceptance of His truth, and application of God’s Word I was set free. I like to say that God replaced the trash, my negative thoughts, with the truth or the treasure of God’s Word.

The more I read the more I realized I held the keys to freedom and healing in my hands. Not just for me but for other people just like me. Three years ago God impressed on my heart the importance of sharing my journey with others. My heart’s desire in writing this devotional Bible study is to help other people find the same hope, freedom, and healing that I have found.

Who is the target audience for I AM says, “You Are…”?

Understanding your identity in Christ is important for women of all ages. This devotional is written so women in all stages of life can relate to the topic of discussion. For example, day one is titled, I AM says, “You Are Significant.” Women of all ages need to know that they are significant to God’s plan.

What are some of the topics covered?

Each day begins with this identity statement, I AM says, “You Are…” The thirty daily themes cover many aspects of our identity in Christ such as:

  • I AM says, “You Are loved.”
  • I AM says, “You Are beautiful.”
  • I AM says, “You Are unique.”
  • I AM says, “You Are forgiven.”

Do you have a website or blog for your audience to check out?

Yes! I have a blog site  for women to interact and share their thoughts on the daily themes. Small groups and Women’s Ministries also have a tab on the blog where they can share their insights and idea’s.

cjrapp1I AM says, “You Are…” Understanding Your Identity in Christ provides women with a glimpse of God’s heart for them. Embracing the truths from Scripture found in this book can help women overcome the low self-esteem that studies say over 80% of American women suffer from. The quickest way to get your copy is to order from amazon.com. For more information about CJ Rapp visit her website.

Don’t forget that this study can be used in small groups and as a church wide women’s ministry study.

Leave a comment or ask a question and you will be entered in a drawing (on May 1, 2009) for a free copy of I AM says, “You Are…” Understanding Your Identity in Christ.

 

To follow this blog tour for more opportunities to win a FREE copy of the book, please visit www.ChristianSpeakerServices.

 

Meet CJ Rapp this Sunday

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cj_charisee_headshots_0392-206x3271
Author and Speaker, CJ Rapp

Have you ever been called names, as a kid maybe, or worse, as an adult? I have.   Have you ever received these lies as truth? Been there, done that as well. I’ll spare you the gritty details, just know that I have. Okay? 

There is an old saying that goes along the lines of “sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.” There is a lie straight from hell if I ever heard one. Names hurt. Lies hurt. And so many of us, get stuck looking through the wrong mirror that we lose our focus on who God says we are.

I’d like you to join me on Sunday while I interview Christan Speaker, Author, and Bible Teacher, CJ Rapp.  CJ has written a new 30 day devotional titled I AM says “You Are…” This study is  is designed to allow women to embrace their rock solid identity in Christ and get rid of the lies we’ve carried around with us for so long.

Join us on Sunday to find out more about the wonderful and timely Word for all women today.

Hope that Overflows.

Deana1 Comment

Three cool things happened to me this weekend.

1. After I had shared the details of my week with some friends, they told me that God (through the Holy Spirit) had impressed me on their hearts for prayer earlier in the week and did not know why. – He already had people praying for me before I knew I had a need.

2. God had a word for me, before I knew I needed it – Pastor went on vacation for the week and wrote his sermon before he left. He does not know about our week. His scripture verse for today:  Lamentations 3:21-25 (New International Version) Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning;  great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;

 3. I took a road trip to Van Buren Arkansas with my girlfriend Michele VanDusen last night and laughed myself stupid, both on the way and at the show. Girlfriends are great like that. We were even able to pop in during intermission and say hi to Chonda and crew. What a kick. I usually only get to see her when I’m working promotion. This was so much fun. Chonda also picked up two new to her, but not new to comedy gals to perform with her. Zan and Victoria are wonderful and the three of them, make an excellent combination. The show lasted three and a half hours!

prettyville Christian Comics, Zan, Chonda Pierce,(me), Victoria  Jackson(From SNL), and Michele VanDusen at Intermission.

During the show, Zan said that comics come from the land of misfit toys and I fell out of my chair laughing hysterically. Hanging with comics brings me incredible joy for many reasons. For one, I feel “normal” when I’m around comics. I don’t always say that outloud it sounds like I mean “wow, compared to your messed up self, I feel normal” and that’s not how I mean that. 

I have never really fit in anywhere. I kinda of stand out in an uncomfortable way.  I have spent my whole life feeling like there was this world I missed where people see through the same lenses I do.  The Land of Misfit Toys, that is so it!  When I’m with comics, there is a real me that comes out that feels whole and relaxed, and that’s a good thing. At Michele’s encouragement, I am learning a new craft right now.  I’m going from teaching and sharing and making people laugh on accident, to finding humor in my stories and in life and learning the timing needed to let people laugh on purpose. My stories are dead on, my set up, the punch lines, are all good and now I am working on delivery. Practice, practice, practice. Stage time is my hardest thing to find. The Looney Bin Open Mic night is a great place for me to learn and practice. All I need now is courage to ride the ride.

I have no idea what God is going to do with this desire and weird gifts that He planted in me, I just know that it will honor him or he wouldn’t have given them to me. I don’t know where it is going to take me.  I just know to trust Him and know that in all things (not some things or a few things, but ALL things), He works for the good of those who love him and have been called according to His purpose. – my life verse.

I don’t know how things are going to turn out with Jeff’s job, or Dillon’s school and friends. I just flat don’t know a lot of things. I do, however, know Jesus and that is enough.

Yes, God did really say we have hope that overflows. That is what the entire Bible is about. It’s a book full of hope. But even more so Christianity isn’t about religion, it’s about relationship. Being in a relationship with Jesus Christ, is being in a relationship of certainty, and not just wishful thinking.

(Heb. 11:1) 1Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

“May the God of hope fill you will all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13)

I still don’t understand all of the whys and who’s of what God is doing and has been doing in my life over the past few years. I am still learning how to enjoy the ride and trust that I have a Daddy who LOVES me. And in knowing that, and because of the Holy Spirit, He lavishes me with hope that overflows.

May he do the same for you today.