Deana’s Not so Wordless Wednesday

I am going to be offline for the rest of this week as I’m leaving for Nashville on Wednesday. Through an awesome set of recent experiences, I am attending the Professional Communicators Summit and won’t be back until Saturday, March 14.

I know this is supposed to be a wordless Wednesday post, and wordless I’m not. I’m truly bouncing off the walls excited and freaking out all at once. And of course – I can find N-O-T-H-I-N-G to wear. I presently hate every single piece of clothing I own. To keep things simple it is casual dress; I don’t even like my jeans today. I have 24 hours to find three acceptable outfits. Think I can do it?

Heading Out Doors

It is 76 degrees out today. I am heading out doors and playing in the dirt. I can wait to see what is blooming.

Igniting the World

People have to fuss and fume about something, don’t they? I have my days where that is true for me too so I’m not pointing fingers. After all, if you read my blog you know that I have been fussing and fuming myself over things that I cannot control. I can’t control what people think about the Ablaze Initiative in any way shape or form. And just because they choose to fuss and fume, does not mean I need to follow suit and be discouraged. Do you know what I mean?

My family and friends are heartfelt and dedicated to mission work in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma. Most days we plug along and do well, and some days we make the mistake of listening to the nay sayers who accuse this Initiative by LCMS as “UnGodly” and “Bad Theology.” They are arguing over words and over chinks in the planning.

We try really hard to stay out of the muck and mire of those commentaries, unfortunately that isn’t always possible. I’ll be honest, we are more discouraged by the open (and at times brutally harsh) discourse among the pastors against this movement than anything else. Listening to those comments (cheeky or otherwise) is (to us) the equivalent of a pastor having to read or listen to his congregation attacking his work as shepherd. We feel greatly discouraged by it and cannot understand the real issues behind the issue.

The trick to not being so open to discouragement, is to find the worm-holes (rings, social networks) and stay out of them. Granted some of their issues are good and some do need to be addressed. Those of us in the field, however, are too busy working to fight it out with the big dogs, so we stay out of it.

Our Mission Start is actually a daughter congregation of the Lutheran Church of Our Savior. We are financially supported though voluntary contributions of members (into a dedicated fund)and not District offices or the Synod office. “Ablaze Funds” do not reach us. That is in part because our congregation can afford most of the expenses, we just can’t afford payroll – so none of us get paid. Pastor goes back and forth between the home congregation and the mission start every weekend. We are looking at programs that would allow funding and we may receive it down the line.

Other questions that I hear in church from other boards are these:

“How do we know this whole outreach thing is even going to work?”

I hear this one a lot. We are called to go forth and make disciples. That was Christ’s commission. God will take care of the harvest. I can’t promise anyone that our “numbers in the pew” will increase greatly. Having them be baptized or confirmed and join is great, no doubt and yes that is what we want long term. What I do know today though there are enough of us who walked ourselves to church or events as kids and while we did not join the church that hosted the event? We are pastors, youth leaders (DCE’s), and vital members within our present congregations and communities. Someone sowed seeds, God grew them, and LCMS get’s the harvest of those efforts today. I think we count as well.

Speaking of counting: Synod decided to set up a counting page, a tool really, nothing more nothing less. It’s meant for encouragement and not demographics. To keep it simple they are only counting one on one experiences of sharing the Gospel with someone else. This is just a tool to help inspire people to share the Gospel. They are not counting “saved souls,” they are counting experiences. For a better explanation on the whole counting process – click HERE

“Is Ablaze theologically sound?” YES it is – Click HERE to see Synod’s explanation.

What about funding? How are the funds being disbursed?
Okay that’s a real issue. We don’t understand it ourselves. Programs that would allow for funding are still being developed and all of the churches are looking into them.

“I don’t like the word FIRE in this campaign. Fire is a bad thing in the Bible.” – If you are just looking for the word “fire” then yes, I’m in agreement that most scriptures are negative about that word. But what about the synonyms? See Foundations of Ablaze for a better explanation on this topic.

“Igniting the world with God’s Love” – is figurative language. Fire is not always bad. Christ himself said “I’d rather you were hot or cold instead of Luke Warm” God does not want a lukewarm church – he wants heat, he wants passion. He wants fire. A Holy Fire instilled in us by Him –

Those aren’t bad things.

So.. for more information on the Ablaze Movement click HERE and see.

Is it perfect? No. Are there bugs to be worked out in how all of this shakes down to the workers? yes. Is it worth it? Well, if you call having a young girl (who first started coming because of an Egg Hunt two years ago) go flying through the air and into your arms every time she sees you worth it? Then yes, I do believe it is.

Sabbath

Mark 2:27
Then he said to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.”

Enjoy the gifts of God.

Planning for Winter in March

Spring doesn’t officially start for another two weeks, but it is 79 degrees here today. I’m climbing out of my skin trying to resist the impulse to plant stuff that I know cannot handle the frost that will come next week. My sunny spot in my house is almost ready and next year I will be able to start things from seed, just not this year. This year, I have to wait and purchase whole plants.

I’m still trying to figure out my “zone.” Some maps show me in 6, others show me in 7. I’m apparently on the cusp of both.

My gardens look great in the Spring and Summer with some nice fall interest as well, but in the winter? Even here, I have nadda. Everything is dormant, there is no color, not contrast. B-O-R-I-N-G. I used to have pine trees and they stayed green, but boy did I miss that this year. So, in looking for color for my gardens I came across two beauties I could not resist.

This wonderfully looking specimen is called – Beni Kaze Japanese Forest Grass
(Photo Credit: Spring Hill Nursery)

Botanical Name: Hakonechloa macra ‘Beni-kaze’
Form: Herbaceous perennial
Sun Exposure: Partial Shade/Full Sun
Height/Habit: 2 – 3′
Spread: 2 – 3′
Spacing: 2 – 4′
Hardiness Zone: Zones 5 – 9
Foliage Type: Mounds of arching linear green leaves which turn to rich red tones in fall.
Flower Form: Pale green spikelets. Not significant.
Flower Color: Green
Flowering Date: Late summer.
Planting Requirements: Tolerates a light shade without compromising the brilliant fall color.
Soil Requirements: Well drained, fertile, humus rich soil.
Growth Rate: Moderate.

Unique Characteristics: Flowing mound of green grass blades that turn a brilliant red for the fall season. Great for cascading over a bank or retaining wall. Tolerates a light shade area without compromising on the great fall color. Compliments most broad leaf plants nicely in the landscape setting.
Pruning: Cut to base in late winter or early spring.
Additional Information: Beni-kaze translates to “red wind”. Describes its flowing nature and beautiful fall color.

I’ll admit, there is nothing wrong with owning these – I’m just bored with it being my only “grass” planting. This one is mature enough to divide and place in other spots in my garden. Places where I have Spring and Summer color and need some green.

My other colorful beauty is the Red Twig Dogwood

(Photo Credit: Spring Hill Nursery)

Like I said, my yard has zero color in the winter. I need something pretty.

Botanical Name: Cornus alba ‘Argenteo-Marginata’
Form: Deciduous woody shrub
Sun Exposure: Partial Shade/Full Sun
Height/Habit: 5 – 8′
Spread: 5 – 8′
Spacing: 6 – 10′
Hardiness Zone: Zones 3 – 8
Foliage Type: Variegated green and cream ovate to elliptic leaves.
Flower Form: Small starry flowers form 1 1/2 – 2″ flat topped cymes, insignificant.
Flower Color: Yellowish white
Flowering Date: Spring
Planting Requirements: Best coloration in full sun.
Soil Requirements: Well drained, but adaptable to a wide range of soils.
Growth Rate: Moderate to fast.
Unique Characteristics: An old fashioned favorite that is still one of the best shrubs for year round appeal. Attractive variegated cream and green foliage all growing season followed by brilliant red stems that last all winter. Provides great color against a snowy backdrop or used indoors as an accent in cut-flower arrangements.
Pruning: Best coloration on new wood. Prune out 1/3 to 1/2 of old wood each year.
Time of Pruning: Late winter.

PLANT DESCRIPTIONS ARE COURTESY OF SPRINGHILLNURSERY.COM I’m using these until I learn what means what and how to properly log things in my gardening scrapbook.

The Jury is in, I am ADD

I started my ADD journey close to three months ago. The first month my doctor didn’t agree with me on my assessment, but gave me medication anyway. I received my first prescription for a very low dose (read why bother dose) of concerta. I didn’t see any results and went back feeling discouraged and at least willing to try a higher dose. She bumped up to 36 mg.

My 90 days are almost up. During that time I was to set goals, redistribute some chores, and set some boundaries.

We learned some things. By letting go of the need to be all things to all people, I have more time to do important things like balance my check book and get our finances all in one place. They get done more quickly as well because I stay focused on it. My front living room is painted (with a lot of help from my husband). I have permanently delegated the boys laundry to them. They are 16 and 18 – so this is no devastating burden trust me and well, they didn’t die. I might, but they haven’t.

My memory is returning, and actually I’m discovering that I might not have really lost it, I just have more certainty (clarity) during events (because I’m paying attention) that it’s easier to recall things. I don’t change what I remember based on someone else insisting it was some other way. Okay so that little tidbit drives my husband and youngest nuts, but that’s okay. I feel better knowing I have the clarity back.

My mother still thinks it’s just menopause. I think it could be that menopause has made my ADD worse and harder for me to manage on my own. I cheated during my 90 days – I tried going a week without the meds and everything went back to the way it was. No more cheating, I’m sticking with this. This works.

I’m accomplishing goals, thinking clearly, speaking and writing with clarity (most of the time – not counting hormone days), I’m setting goals and achieving them. I feel better about myself, and my happiness is returning because my self esteem is returning. I’m calming down and not so hyper and bouncing off the walls. I’m not perfectly organized, I’m just learning how to be perfectly me and I’m okay with that.

It’s just been one of those days.

Okay, it’s officially an off day for me today. I write a blog, save it to draft (I think) come back later to find I hit publish instead – lovely. That happens sometimes I know. I just hate it when I’m saving ideas to be used later as a main blog. I’m re-writing it and I’m holding it until later. It was a rant that was nothing more than my shooting the side of the barn with buckshot. It made absolutely no sense.

I have my days where I am embarrassed to admit that I sometimes like the unchurched, more than the church. I have no clue if that makes sense. It’s just a feeling and feelings don’t always arrive in neatly wrapped packages. After reading blog after blog for this and against that with Christians tearing apart other Christians, I had to ask myself and God, if it’s worth bothering anymore. Know what I mean?

We are a confusing lot. Loving our neighbor in word only some days. Not only do we tear apart other denominations, we tear apart other races, the other sex, and we even tear at ourselves and our own church. And some days? I just get tired.

I read something cool today and given the Lenten season, it fits.

With our church talking about Sharing the Gospel with Compassion, we need to find out what compassion really means. Henri Nouwen puts it well in The Wounded Healer:

“Through compassion
it is possible to recognize
that the craving for love
that men feel
resides also in our own hearts,
that the cruelty that the world
knows all too well
is also rooted in our own impulses.

Through compassion
we also sense
our hope for forgiveness
in our friend’s eyes
and
our hatred
in their bitter mouths.

When they kill,
we know
that we could have done it;

when they give life,
we know
that we can do the same.

For a compassionate man
nothing human is alien:
no joy and no sorrow,
no way of living and no way of dying….

This compassion
pulls people away from the fearful clique
into the large world
where they can see
that
every human face
is the face of a neighbor.

Thus the authority of compassion
is the possibility
of man
to forgive his brother,
because
forgiveness is only real
for him who has discovered
the weakness of his friends
and the sins of his enemy
in his own heart

and
is willing
to call
every being
his brother.”

I’m presently working through the reality that I, myself, am far less compassionate and forgiving, than I would like to believe. I tend to take the out of sight and out of mind approach to forgiveness. If I don’t see you and I don’t think about you then I can pretend I’ve forgiven you. That’s not what God wants from me or for me for that matter.

That’s not forgiveness. That’s just a wall to hide behind.

Ponder something with me if you will – if you have ever been seriously hurt by someone – I mean truly truly hurt – and while you worked through forgiveness (like I have with this issue) but yet never saw them again or spoke to them – is it really forgiveness? What if said person joined your church, broken, repentant, and ashamed and wanted to be reconnected to the body, would you accept them? Would you be able to? What if it was an ex-spouse, or employer? What if was a friend who lied about you and you suffered consequences as a result. What if was someone who stole from you. What if…

It’s easier to think in the what ifs of things that never happened to us – but when they have? It’s much more difficult to honestly answer yes – I would accept and embrace them back into the body.

I have to honestly answer that question for myself – as I really don’t know. I’d like to believe I could, but my heart has been so hardened, I don’t know what I would do if they suddenly showed up like that.

Which tells me.. God and I still have some work to do this season. Compassion, confidence, forgiveness are gifts of God I pray that I don’t continue to take them lightly.

What I Was Really Upset About

I accidentally posted a rant blog. Right here, Right in this space. I’d meant to save it as a draft, but hit publish instead.

Maybe it wasn’t an accident. Maybe – it was a subconscious passive aggressive way of saying what I really feel. Of saying that I’m tired of LCMS ripping itself apart.
rather than a page of my mindless ranting, why don’t I simply tell you the truth about what set me off.

Pictures like these on LCMS blogs.

With scripture like this to back it up. Malachi 4:1 (ESV) “For behold, the day is coming, burning like an oven, when all the arrogant and all evildoers will be stubble. The day that is coming shall set them ablaze, says the LORD of hosts, so that it will leave them neither root nor branch.”

That – is what set me off.

I search for other Ablaze bloggers and I find hate – and dissension. I find very few people on the blogosphere speaking positively about the Mission of LCMS today and it saddens me. My enough button got pushed. I got discouraged, for a day.

I woke up this morning, and I studied my new verse, like I do every morning, and I remembered God’s word’s to me this month:

Hebrews 10:35-36 – “So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded, you need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised.”

My confidence is not in politics, pastors, church boards or myself. My confidence is in Christ Alone.

What is this thing that I let grow last summer?


I pretty much ignored the back strip of my yard last year, allowing the ground to settle from grinding out the Bradford Pear and Pin Oak trees that I lost. While I was resting it, this wondrous weedy looking thing appeared. At first I thought it was a bush planted by errant birdseed. When it reached over 5 feet tall, I decided it needed cutting. The stems were very strong, yet pulpy and fibrous instead of woody. Does anyone know what this is? I have no clue.

Wordless Wednesday


Caption anyone?