REPOST: Epic Fail: On Romance and Marriage


Rumor has it, great romances involve planning. Every good relationship book will tell you that you have to plan for time together in order to keep romance in marriage alive and well. What every good relationship book does not tell you is there is a right way, and a wrong way for such planning.

Movies make it look easy. All a woman has to do is show up in his office for a surprise lunch wearing nothing but a fur coat, that sort of thing. The real world? If I did that, my coat would get stuck in the elevator and I’d wind up on his floor with just my shoes. Oh yeah, he’d be surprised alright. Along with the rest of his staff.

Still, I want adventure and I like doing fun things for my husband, but…

I tried to get creative once. It didn’t work.

I found his blackberry one night and decided to write on his calendar. I picked a random date out in the future and posted a lunch meeting for him to “go home and ravish wife.” AKA me.

Did you know that a Corporate issued Blackberry syncs up with corporate calendars?

Me neither.

And apparently, corporate secretaries have access to corporate calendars.

Husbands do not like getting phone calls from their secretary saying “Mr Robinson wants to schedule a lunch meeting with you for Tuesday, but it says here you are supposed to be ravishing your wife at that time. Should I reschedule that appointment or move Mr Robinson to a different date?”

Corporate secretaries are vastly underpaid.

6 thoughts on “REPOST: Epic Fail: On Romance and Marriage

  1. Martin never knows what to expect from me and I never know what to expect from him…we are both hopeless romantics…and it is really fun. After 30 years of marriage, he is my only real “vice”. I have packed slinky “personals” in his lunch box. he has sent Barbershop Quartets to my office to serenade me. In our room, the rest of the world doesn’t exist..just us. We call each other in the middle of the day to say we are thinking of each other. When we see a beautiful sunset, one of us will call the other to make sure they see it so even when not together, we are enjoying the same thing together. I am blessed beyond words…no doubt about it.

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  2. Generally speaking, good secretaries – now called adminstrative assistants – are vastly underpaid. They are priceless. Funny story!

    If I may digress …

    One of the most surprising British movies, that addressed putting romance back into marriage is the dark comedy, Keeping Mum (2005).
    The vicar’s wife was dangerously coming close to plunging into an adulterous affair with a creep (played by the late Patrick Swayze .)
    Reading from the Song of Solomon, the vicar sparked passion back into his marriage. (Actually, it was the only movie I have seen that quoted extensively from the Song of Solomon.)

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