“Let’s face it, I’m at that age where the only way I can lose weight is to either cut my hair or shave my legs.” — Deana O’Hara

If you are looking for a what not to say to an audience of mostly men, I can give you a list.

There are three things men cannot easily recover from.

Sex.

Childbirth.

Hormones.

The rules for this particular night were simple, keep it PG. I played by the rules and stumbled upon an unwritten understanding that women shall not tell the truth in front of men. Out of 7 comic only 2 of us were female and neither of us made the finals.

There is a difference between killing on stage and dying.

I died Saturday and I’m okay with that.

My set isn’t for men, it’s for women. The judges were male and they did not like me.

While a more experienced speaker will look at their audience and adjust accordingly, I chose to  stay the course and be myself. Was that the right call? Not if I wanted to win. Fortunately, I didn’t go there to win a contest. I went there to defeat fear. In staying the course I beat the voice in my head that insists that if I continue being myself, I’ll be alone. Misplaced safety nets are detrimental to my well-being.

Just as a child cannot receive self-esteem by being given A’s for effort alone, neither can I. Confidence comes only as an after effect of facing down my fears and doing the unthinkable.

Being fully me sometimes comes with a price, like losing a contest. And yet the joy my inner woman shows every time I allow her to be heard is priceless.