Tag: Comedy

The Roar of Courage

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Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, I’ll try again tomorrow. – Mary Anne Radmacher

I am not much of the roaring lion type — unless I’m dealing with a rebellious teen — don’t ask. Still, I do find new days and new ways of doing something brave.

Take stand-up for instance. Those who’ve been following my blog know that I’ve stepped out of the house and onto the stage. It hasn’t been easy. Truth be told my first few times doing comedy, my fear spoke more loudly than my jokes. Even though I’m afraid, I keep going back. My biggest hurdle facing me right now, is the microphone. I don’t know how to handle it well and therefore I’m intimidated by it.  And yes, Sigmund Freud would have a field day with that.

Jeff, “Touch it.”

 Me, “I don’t want to touch it.”

Jeff, “The Microphone is your friend, Deana.”

Me, “Yeah, well you told me something else was my friend and now we have two sons.”

I was asked to perform recently and it was the first time on stage since my hysterectomy. Nervous would be an understatement.  The mic was “hot” according the host and for me, that spelled trouble. So, I handled my fear the way I handle all fears, I just avoided the mic. And lost a lot of laughs because of it.

Good news is, I still got invited back and will have my chance to try again. Which is a good thing, because I have a show in Yukon at the end of the month.

What about you?

What thing do you get to try again?

Having Fun in Broken Arrow with Mission Ablaze!

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I apologize for my lack of posting, I’ve actually been sick. Still am. However. I did want to jump online and give you some highlights from church for the last few weeks. I hope you enjoy the pictures.

This is our crew from the Murder Mystery Night at my house. Planning nights like this are actually, very easy. All I did was go to MurderMystery.com and order a mystery package. Very simple. I cooked the main dish and everyone brought a side dish or drink to share and we had a blast.

This isn’t the best photo, but is is me performing at an outdoor festival this fall called “Taking Jesus to the Streets.” in Manford OK. This was the first year they had a stand up comic. They have four different bands who play and I told jokes between set ups. Load of fun. And they asked me to come back next year. I always like that.

Looking for a cure for “Terminal Seriousness?” — try hiring a Christian Comic for your next outreach event. Pictured here are Michele VanDusen, Dan McGowan, and myself. The three of us performed almost two hours of clean, family friendly comedy for the folks at Our Savior Lutheran Church in Tulsa OK. This proved to be a wonderful outreach event. Tickets were only $5 a piece to cover expenses and we had 80 people show up. 1/3 of them had never been to our church before. Comedy nights are a great outreach.

We intentionally chose to host this event at Our Savior rather than Ablaze for a myriad of reasons, and you know, I think it turned out great. So well in fact that our board of evangelism wants to host more events like this.

Yeah God!

And that is us in a nutshell right now. Ablaze Church is still chugging along while we wait for the survey results. We worshipped over 50 people again last week and that is a good sign. Whether or not we keep Ablaze as a stand-alone mission start or a satellite has yet to be determined. In time, we’ll know. For now, we serve.

I was talking with a friend of mine recently and you know, we serve an amazing God. This blog has taken many turns while I find my voice, and my place in His kingdom. I’ve always been a servant, it is the where I serve that has changed and grown. I’ve traveled from humorist, to bible teacher, to missionary of sorts, to comedy. My love for God and his word has not changed. I still first and formost want to be a Bible Teacher, in His plan though and not my own.  He hasn’t closed that door, but I do know that there are things I still need to learn, work through, and overcome. Each direction is a place where he let’s me grow up into his next role. I just don’t know that that is yet.

I love to teach, and can relate to small groups without a problem. I struggle with larger crowds and the minute you put a microphone in my face, I become an introvert. Learning stand up, has taken that fear away. It’s amazing to me to see God’s hand in all of this. He opened those doors, I didn’t. It is God who allows favor, not man.  Will he keep me here? I don’t know. But I do know that He is smiling and that I make him laugh. And that is a good thing.

If you are new to my blog, I should warn you, I’m a little strange. Fear is a major stronghold in my life and so I made a decision several years ago to find that one thing that scares me most and to keep doing it until I’m not afraid anymore. This is that one thing right now.

Until next time. Trusting in him.

Deana

ps… I forgot to sign on and give my memory verse to Beth’s blog this week — so I don’t have a new verse. I’m keeping with last time’s verse… which is a good thing, because I haven’t memorized it yet. 😉

It all Started in Branson: How I became a stand up comic

Deana4 Comments
The roads I travel in life are rarely smooth. Maybe it’s because I live in Oklahoma and we don’t believe in repairing concrete, or maybe it’s the wonderlust redhead in me, either way I start down one path and I inevitably wind up on some motorcross race track doing loops, turns, tricks and stops, pausing from time to time to eat mud pies.

This is a mud pie kind of day. I’m editing what I used to think are funny stories into something more compatible with a stand up format. As I sit at my computer picking gravel out of my knees and my stories, I’m struck by the thought of “Who can I blame for this mess?”

Being a humor writer and loaning out stories and jokes is a smooth road. Stand up comedy? Not so much. I don’t know this road and yet here I am, forsaking one for the other. I’m taking my shot and running with the big dogs. Why? Only my psychiatrist can answer that. It just feels right. That’s all there is to it. I have this insatiable need to make people laugh and to do it well. “Hi, I’m Deana and I’m a stand up comic.” My 12 step group meets in clubs throughout the United States.

I didn’t start my comedy career doing stand up. I’m a humorist. I write and tell funny stories. Have for years. Then it happened. My oldest son gets straight A’s in 6th grade and he wants to see Yakov Smirnoff in Branson. Simple enough really. Branson is only three hours away so off we go. I should have just bought him a car. It would have been cheaper.

Yakov has this part in his show where members of the audience are allowed to tell him jokes. The person with the funniest story gets to go on stage and interview him. Neat little piece. At least it was before my son looked up at me and said “Mom! You’re funny, why don’t you tell him one of your stories?”

” How hard can it be.” I thought to myself.

I’m convinced those words will be on my tombstone. In short, I died a horrible, humiliating, miserable death-by-choking in front of Yakov, my son, and 1,400 people. All of it on film. Nice.

I can only blame myself for what happened next. I spent the next two years striving to save my pride and convince this dear sweet long on patience man that I am indeed funny. I went to no less than six of his shows hoping for another shot. We communicated via telephone, email, snail mail and in person. I even bought roughly ten of his paintings. Hey, it’s not stalking until you see the whites of the retraining order, okay? It turns out that I cannot get within a hundred yards of Yakov without turning into a walking labotomy. Go figure.

In short I made an idiot out of myself. I convinced him that I was something alright. I’m not so sure about the funny part though. Suffice to say, I have not set foot in Branson in about five years. Just driving through Missouri gives me hives.

Undeterrred by my egostically driven set back, I continue on as a humor writer and story teller. Joining writing groups and comedic message boards to better hone my craft, I learn that Christian comics have their own club of sorts. They have a message board, facebook, fan pages and conferences. Figuring that four years is enough time to hide from comics and that the stigma has to have worn off by now, I drive with a friend to their most recent conference in Nashville Tennessee.

I am at home with these funny people. No longer a slave to my comedic lust, I find other kindred spirits and I find peace. My friend talks me into participating in their Open Mic for newbies and I gladly participate.

In all fairness, I erroneously assumed that the men and women would be separated. Women would critique women and men would critique men kind of thing. I assumed incorrectly. Imagine my surprise to learn that my panel of advisors would consist of men named Bone, Nazareth and Thor. There was also Kenn and LeLand, the oddballs with normal names, but I digress. Bottom line, I’m a female humorist/story teller about to face an entire audience of comics and male critiquers with a story about the time my husband’s doctor guilted me into being present during his vasectomy.

I’m an intelligent woman. It did not take me long to assess three things.

1.) This story was probably not appropriate for this particular venue.
2.) I don’t have the energy to stalk these five men for two years to convince them I really am funny so I better think of something quick.
3.) I had consumed so much sweet tea that evening that the stability of my bladder is now questionable.

I took three of my funniest bits and tried to turn them into stand up material on the fly. Thankfully they laughed while I tried not to hyperventilate or pee.

As for my bladder issues, I just moved around a lot hoping it would stablize. If that failed, I’m over weight so I was just going to tell the guys that I’m pregnant and my water broke. They are men. They would have dropped me off at the nearest hospital and gone on their merry way and I would have hidden out in my hotel room until the conference was over and my room mate was ready to drive home.

And that, my friends is how I became a stand up comic.

Deana O’Hara is presently living with her husband of 19 years and two teenage boys in Broken Arrow, OK. She can be found perfecting her craft at any and every open mic night throughout Oklahoma as well as at a Target Store near you. While Deana no longer “loans” her jokes and stories for free, she will be performing this Friday night with Tulsa comedienne Michele VanDusen. Headlining the night will be funny man Dan McGowan from Denver. You can call the Our Savior “box” office at 836-3752 for ticket information.

Or order you tickets online via Eventbrite by clicking here: Just Pure Laughs with Dan McGowan

It’s Probably Just My Thyroid – A Night with Anita

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Grace Fellowship in Tulsa Oklahoma hosted a night with Christian Comedienne Anita Renfroe and what a night it was. From the looks of it, the place sold out and the room was filled with women (and about six token males)who came to laugh and be encouraged. – Not to be crass, but if you are over 40 – come poise protected. If you are over 40, you know what I mean and that’s all I’m gonna say about that.

I’ve seen Anita on Good Morning America, and most of the world knows her from her Youtube video Momsense. She also travels with Women of Faith. This woman is a crack up. She’s written books like The Purse-Driven Life, and If you Can’t lose it, Decorate it . Both of which I own. I read those books and I feel normal. She is every woman I’ve ever met. Anita and her husband also wrote a devotional book for marrieds called, “Songs in the Key of Solomon:In the Word and in the Mood. another great book.

Anita speaks to the heart of all women, mostly the over 40 set, who are coming into their own and learning not only who they are in Christ, but who they are in real life.

I like Anita – a lot. And spending time with my girlfriends, at Anita’s Concert, laughing ourselves stupid, was probably the best way I can think of to spend a Thursday night.

Keeping the Hopeful “Yet” in ADD.

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(Awareness, Acceptance, Action)

When I saw my doctor the other day asking about ADD, her first reaction was one of disbelief and skepticism. That’s normal. Is ADD over diagnosed and over medicated? You bet. I see it in schools even – a high energy kid is labled a problem and teachers push parents to doctors offices all the time. When she asked if I had ADD as a kid, I told her they didn’t diagnose it then – I was just an avid talker and class clown.

I’m coming around to acceptance and have chosen to take right action and let my feelings follow later.

I want to thank everyone who has left comments or sent emails to me this week. I was truly afraid this was going to simply be a self indugent rant – and I found out, I’m in good company. I had no idea so many other adults deal with this. We joke about having ADD moments – but we hide the pain it can cause. So thank you for writing, and thank you for sharing. That was very encouraging.

– Day three and I am still alive, still not speeding, able to sleep, and I had a small impulse issue yesterday with another blogger – but it turned out well. We had a great converstation and I learned a lot about liturgical and high church worship.

I found an online survey very similar to the test Dillon’s doctor gave me. All of these questions were preceded with Do you have a lifetime struggle with (even if you can control it today) – issues.

If this is a new thing, or recent, or seasonal, it’s not ADD. More than likely it is depression, anxiety, bi-polar disorder, or signs of an addiction of some kind. ADD is almost always diagnosed after ruling all of those out. Two years in counseling and three in group – pretty much ruled out everything else.

While I do have my addictions – praise junkie being one – I’m not chemically addicted to substances. Mine are more relationally based and I’m in treatment for those through a 12 step program.

ADD people aren’t lazy or stupid. True ADD’s have very high IQ’s. We think much more quickly than other people and more quickly than our mouths can keep up with. We are the right brained full blown technicolor 3 dimensional dreamers and thinkers of the world. We are the explorers, and inventors. We do a lot, we just seem to truly accomplish very little unless we find coping mechanisms.

I went to an E-Women’s Conference last year and scanned the book tables. Lisa Welchel has written more books than I have time to read – she’s home school mother of at least three high energy kids, a pastor’s wife and a national speaker – She even developed something called Mom Time Ministries and has her own business of sorts. I looked at that table, her skinny blonde body, and truly thought to myself – if that woman’s laundry is complete and her house clean, I may just hate her.

I don’t hate her by the way – she seems really nice – and gave a great talk about – over achieving and approval seeking. Okay – Lisa – you won me over. She’s multi-talented and very real.

I have dreams and for me, this ADD thing is really getting in the way. Multiple conversations overwhelm me and I cannot follow them. I would love nothing more than to speak and teach women about the Word of God. I get to in small groups and I love it. I love talking about God’s power and will in our lives. I love reaching out with the Gospel. I love watching thier eyes light up.

I even like the whole stand up comic thing – if I could remember my jokes, I’d like it even better.

I’m good at thosse things. I’ve rocked the mic enough times to know there is talent and potential there. And that’s my problem, I have a lifetime of “talent and potential” opportunites that I don’t seem to cross over into very well.

Until now.

My impulsive side is what caused me to join the Christian Comedy Association (CCA) three years ago at the insistance of a friend. I’m not actively rostered now as I’m not “sale ready” if you will. I don’t have a set long enough to open for anyone and I can’t travel. But I am on the boards, I’ve made new friends, and I am learning, writing humor and telling stories.My joining was impulsive and unplanned – and I’m glad I did it.

My impulsive side also led to – when CCA went Facebook – I was there – and yes I have truly conversed in one fashion or another with almost everyone on my facebook page. Where I found the courage to do that, I’ll never know. But I am learning to ask if I can learn from someone else. Sometimes they let me, sometimes they don’t – and I’m okay with that.

That’s where the social butterfly comes in. Some of them – I know on a deeper level. For some of them, I’m a hostess when they are in town, or I participate in classes with them (led by them). These are men and women I get to learn from – even if I don’t run with them. Yet.

Vikki Wells taught me how to add “yet” to my vocabulary last year. We were in the green room at E-Women talking about how I can teach a class of 30 or so, and really relate to those women and I love it, but cannot fathom speaking in front of 3,000 and being able to relate or keep my place, I just don’t know how. Vikki looked at me and said “yet”, you don’t know how “yet” but that will change.

She had no clue who I was – keep in mind this gal was speaking to her DRIVER! I was a runner for the weekend – a Chauffeur if you will – errand girl – gopher – water fetcher – a woman trying to discern between helpful and helicopter hovering (and over shot that runway a lot) – and Vikki spoke the word YET over me. So now I remember it – YET – is a word of hope and expectancy.

Keep “yet” in mind when it comes to ADD – there is hope even if the diagnosis comes late in life – Do not look back and wish for what was. It is a waste of time – look forward and be expectant of your own personal “yet.” For some people medication is not needed – some adults learn to surround themselves with super people who keep them organized – and they learn other mechinisms for getting by.

Maybe you are like me, I need the meds and denied having this even though I would joke about it to excuse impulsive behavior. Maybe you’ve thought or joked about it, but never really stepped out to do something about it – yet.

Maybe you are the mom who always runs late, loses field trip forms,etc, and get’s picked last for committees because people think you are a ditz. Maybe – like me – you try to get by being a cutsie, funny, social butterfly, but long to be taken seriously and get angry when you aren’t. I tend to hear a lot of “When I first met you , I thought you were a total flake, I had no idea there was so much depth.” adn stuff like that. It used to hurt me feelings, now I just say “yeah, I know.”

I have had leadership positions at school, church and NPO’s – it is possible, though I survived some of those postions by hyphenating anal-retentive and by controlling everything myself, simply because it was too hard to juggle people and me or communicate schedules. I use the excuse “I do my best work at 2 am.” when really I’m overwhelmed and don’t want anyone to know.

The following questions are not a diagnosis tool – but rather a thought tool. They could also be attributed to other issues, so be sure to speak to a doctor and cover all the bases.

So… do you have a lifetime issue with:

1. Getting distracted easily?
2. Having difficulty concentrating on one thing at a time?
3. Being disorganized?
4. Having a hard time focusing or paying attention during conversations, listening to others, or while reading?
5. Forgetting things like appointments or obligations?
6. Having trouble following directions that have multiple steps?
7. Having difficulty starting and finishing projects?
8. Procrastinating
9.Trouble prioritizing information?
10. Getting impatient easily?
11. Feeling restless and antsy?
12. Losing track of time and have trouble with time management?
13. Misplacing or have difficulty finding things at home or at work?
14. Acting before thinking through consequences?
15. Speaking or blurting out before thinking about the impact your words will have on others?
16. Tending to have lots of racing thoughts?
17. Getting bored easily?
18. Tending to make careless mistakes when you have to work on a tedious or difficult project?
19 Taking frequent risks.

There were 20 questions on my original survey – and I answered yes to 17. The “magic number” was 10.

As I said this is simply a tool – and not a diagnostic. If you answered yes to most of these, talk to your doctor and check out CHADD and find out more.