I Call Shenanigans

I DON’T DO CATFIGHTS

Women who believe this:

best

Don’t understand this:

Women-EmpowerA person might believe that the first statement is true empowerment, but it isn’t. In reality, it’s nothing more than fear biting.

Telling me that I get to choose whether you are my best friend or my worst enemy  gives all of your personal power away.

I am the one in control when that happens. You are giving me the power to choose who you are in my life instead of choosing for yourself.

I value my female friends and I know not all women do. Some women build walls because they believe we are the competition and we should be feared

They’ve been lied to.

This isn’t about feminism, it’s about recognizing the value in friendships and in each other. We are not the competition. Girlfriends are of vital importance in our lives. Don’t allow insecurity, jealousy, or fear keep you from the richness that is so vital to our psyche.

I have no interest in being friends with anyone, male or female, who feels the need to use fear and manipulation in order to control me. 

I have no interest in being friends with little girls today. 

Or little boys for that matter. 

And so I call shenanigans on any and all lies, manipulation, power trips, gossip, threats, with-holdings and fear based everything. 

Give me the power to choose and I will.

I choose neither and leave you alone to yourself and your fear.

I chose wisely, but have you?

 

 

 

 

Manic Monday: Making Courageous Choices

“I’m not a control freak, I just want everyone to be happy. Oh, and like me. Yes, I definitely want people to like me.  Why? Because that’s the only way I can like myself.” — me

Oh yah, no control issues here. Eye rolling is allowed.

I may “waller in defeat” from time to time, as my friend Tonya would say, but I don’t stay there.

Nobody, I don’t care who they are, or how famous and together we might think they are, leads a charmed life.

Everyone has problems.

Everyone has choices.

That’s why I like the Full Circle link so much. Here’s a guy, who hit rock bottom 19 years ago doing a benefit ride for the very place he got sober. I think that’s cool. I think that takes courage.

What does courage look like to you?

  • Is it public speaking?
  • Skydiving?
  • Saying no when you really need to even if it means disappointing someone?
  • Or is it risking feeling selfish and realizing that the greatest gift we can give this world is to be the best us we can be?

One of my favorite devotional pages says :

March 26 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:

Why is it so hard to admit we are powerless over alcohol, as the First Step suggests we do? All of us have heard and shared in discussions at Al-Anon meetings as to whether this should be interpreted as “alcohol” or the “alcoholic.” We have no power over either one. No one can control the insidious effect of alcohol or its power to destroy the graces and decencies of life. No one can control the alcoholic’s compulsion to drink. But we do have a power, derived from God, and that is the power to change our own lives. Acceptance does not mean submission to a degrading situation. It means accepting the fact of a situation and then deciding what we will do about it.

TODAY’S REMINDER

Progress begins when we stop trying to control the uncontrollable and when we go on to correct what we have the right to change. If we accept a situation full of misery and uncertainty, it is no one’s fault but our own. We can do something about it!

“Fighting futility is just a waste of energy, Samantha. Either do something or quit fretting.” – Celebra Tueli

While this particular page refers to alcoholism and alcoholics it can be about so much more. It hurts watching people we love destroy their lives. What causes even greater pain is putting our lives on hold while we wait for everyone else to get it together.

It has taken me a long time to really believe that I am powerless over people, places, and things, meaning I cannot control people or make their choices for them. I cannot control how people see me, or whether or not they like me. Nor can I control the weather, or disease/disabilities. Shoot, I struggle with controlling myself, thinking I can control others is pure ego.

All I have is the power to make the best choices for me.

That’s really where courage begins. Finding the power to make the best choices for ourselves regardless of the choices our loved ones make. This includes our spouses, siblings, friends, and dare I say it adult children.

I’m a firm believer that the power to change can only come from believing in a God that’s bigger than me. For some of us, finding that God takes courage.

My wish today for you and for myself is that we stop right where we are at and know beyond knowing that we can make better choices today than the ones we made yesterday — and then go do it. 

Maybe for some of us, that choice is simply the acceptance of knowing the we are loved beyond measure  no matter what and acting on that belief.

What choices are you making today?

Monday Update: Cycle Date 09 and counting

I fully planned on keeping track of how many miles I ride on my new bike, and did not do that last year,  therefore I figure it best to start over and track from the first of this year. That would be easier.

Cycle Date 09 — as in January 9, 2012 I have ridden ZERO miles since the first of the year because my bike is still at the lake and I am back in the burbs. I plan on fixing that on Tuesday when I go out for my horseback riding lessons. The weather is promising to be far too beautiful this week to miss riding.  That and I got a post card – and a twitter message – reminding me to bring my bike back for its 30 day check up. I should probably put a few more miles on it before I do that. While I’m there I will purchase a helmet and gloves and ask them to please remove those toe strap things that keep making me fall over because I forget they are there.

While I may not have ridden last week, I am at least down 3.5 lbs since the first. That’s good, right? Losing the weight was easy.

  1. I’m out of cookies and egg nog.
  2. I’m back to cooking fish, chicken and veggies.
  3. I have not had a bite of red meat in almost 9 days.
  4. I’m also thinking about Juicing, but I’m not convinced on that one yet. If I try it, I will be sure to let y’all know.

I promise not to spend 2012 writing ad nauseum about my cycling adventures. I do however want to keep an online journal about it. So if you don’t mind – I’ll post updates on Mondays.

  • This keeps me accountable
  • It might inspire someone else.

I don’t know about you, but it’s easy for me to read about people like Lance Armstrong, or whomever and think “Oh sure, they are professionally trained, of course they can do x.” — and thereby discount myself from the race. I still read about Lance, follow LiveStrong, read Iron Man Spence Smith’s Blog, and what not.  But I also read about every day Joes like Sprinting the Bell Lap (See Blogroll) and Ken Davis and feel encouraged. Kind of like if they can do it, well then so can I.

I would love to find a female cycling enthusiast who blogs, but I haven’t yet. So I read the guys and that is okay.

There is a great post by Spence Smith on Three Steps to Buying Your First Bike. Honestly, I wish he’d written it before I got mine. Then again, I was encouraged when I read it because it turns out I did a lot of things right. — He’s a credible athlete with great advice. Go ahead and read him.

Happy Monday Y’all.

Deana

Monday Menus: October 11 2010

Confession: I sometimes treat my stay at home role as something I’m doing until my son graduates and I can go get a “real” job. The downside of that is multifaceted. Not only do I miss the moment, my family misses the connection while I dream and plan my days away.

Choosing to leave my telecommunications job in 1997 to stay home and raise our boys was definitely the right choice. Staying home was a lot more fun when they were little and in grade school because I had things I could be involved in. I loved being a home room mom, planning school events and even serving on the Parent Teacher League.  Now that my boys are in high school and college, there isn’t as much to do other than drive them places.  Yes, we made sacrifices so that I could stay home – losing my salary was a rather large one. And yes it was worth it. But I have to tell you, housecleaning, does not fulfill me. I need goals and things to focus on that are healthy and productive.

With D-man a junior in high school I find myself chomping at the bit for freedom instead of enjoying our last two years together.  I have freedom, and I think that is part of my issue. Gaining 60 pounds since they started high school is no coincidence. I eat – in part – because I’m bored.

Boredom is one of the things that really gets me into trouble when it comes to eating, that and lack of planning. I live with all men and it’s easy to just pick up grab and go junk food and not have healthy choices in the house. My guys could live on chicken wings and bacon – I think we need a better variety, don’t you? This new menu will definitely challenge my cooking skills. I went with a few new easy cook books. Better Crocker Healthy Heart, Dr Gott’s No Sugar No Flour, and The American Heart Association Cook book.  All three of these list calories per serving and all three are good for cooks like me – short on patience and time.

On the positive front, even with my feeble efforts of just not snacking so much, I’m down eight of the 15 pounds I gained post hysterectomy. Not too shabby for a month’s efforts.  I want to keep that momentum going and starting this week I  am grabbing my books and planning a real menu for the week and post it here.

Menu For Week of October 11, 2010

  • Make ahead Real Oatmeal for breakfast (From Dr Gott)
  • Make ahead Easy Fruit Salad, for lunches or snacking.
  • Mon: Glazed Beef Tenderloin with Herbed New Potatoes
  • Tues: Baked Fish with Italian Rice
  • Wed: Glazed Chicken over Couscous Pilaf – this is my night at the Looney Bin (Comedy Club) so I need something easy that I can make ahead and leave for the guys.
  • Thurs: Morning Star Tex-Mex Salad
  • Friday: Spring Time Pasta and Sausage
  • Sat: Date Night – eating down town with family the going to see Jeff Foxworthy at the BOK Center.
  • Sun: Grilled Garlic Sage Pork Roast

 

I haven’t figured out what kind of snacks I need available in the house yet. We have the standard fruit and cut up veggies, but I’d like to add variety. I am eliminating chips, ice cream and sugar laden cookies and cakes. I can hoover a pan of brownies in a day, and so can my 17 year old I’ve discovered. I’ll play with some healthy recipes this week and let ya’ll know what we like next week.