It would seem the guys have a problem with where I chose to hang Marilyn. I don’t see what the issue is, toilet seat’s been down for a week.
Yes, I really did do this.
I’m redecorating.
No, I did not think this would be an issue.
Apparently it is.
And now for something completely different.
“So, tell me about yourself”
doesn’t sound quite right
when the person speaking
is in the middle
of a pelvic exam.
My pelvic exam.
What am I supposed to say to that?
“Well doc, this time last year
you took my uterus
out through my hoo ha
and named it Fergus,
You know more
about me than I do.”
Would you have shot milk
from your nose
if I’d allowed myself to say
what I was thinking
instead of the tired
and rehearsed answer
that I always give
listing titles
Mom, Wife, Daughter,
safe things
and nothing else.
Years of training
Keep me from saying
what I really want.
The contrast between being
physically vulnerable
without knowing the freedom
of emotional vulnerability
does not escape me.
Music can dance if you let it
But it will be another four years
before I have the courage
to let it find me.
All rights reserved: CRC Publishing 2014
My banjo teacher used to call me “High Strung.” Some how, I don’t think that was a compliment. I’m always in such a hurry to finish up whatever we are working on and get to the next plateau that I don’t enjoy the moment.
I’m the same way with losing weight, mastering cycling, and my career. My eyes are on the mountain tops. The next gig, the next movie, the next song.
8 months with my leg in a boot has changed that. 8 months of sitting on my front porch overlooking the cove brought such incredible peace. No late night gigs, no rushing to finish projects around the house. no exhaustion. I just got to be.. 100% wholly me and no one else for 8 whole months.
I’m not sure I want to get back in the fray. The mania of striving and networking.
I want to build my garden at the Cove, write poetry, play my banjo on my front porch, go to church, take my time cooking fabulous meals, and spend time with friends. Maybe write my book and sling some jokes here and there when I feel like it.
Rebuilding a “suitable” web page that brings “results” doesn’t have the appeal it did a year ago.
Neither does being a star.
Or chairing yet another board at church.
Sounds crazy to me though.
Meeting Howard this weekend reaffirms that change.
Howard is a luthier. It can take him a year to make ONE violin. He has 10 more he wants to make. It took him a year to rebuild ONE clock from Germany. His father purchased a real log cabin for $20, took it down row by row, transported it back to his house and rebuilt it, row by row.
I’m guessing it took longer than a week.
How is it that at 48, I can still be in as big of a hurry to grow up as I was at eight?
Slowing down is good for sure.
God made the horse from the breath of the wind, the beauty of the earth and the soul of the angel…May they forever run within our hearts. -Bonnie Piper
I’m not going to lie. I’m kind of digging this slower life-style that I’ve had to become accustomed to while I get my leg fixed. No more crazy deadlines, being out half the night at the club, driving people places, rushing to the store or lessons. Just being me.
Last Fall I got the chance to watch the season come and go as winter arrived and this time, I get to watch Spring arrive in all of her glory and might. I miss working in the dirt. I haven’t figured out how to do that and not put weight on my leg and that’s okay. If I don’t have my garden this year, there is always the Farmer’s Market.
For now, I get to read, play my banjo, write to my heart’s content, spend time with friends, talk on the phone, love my family, and when opportunity strikes – take pictures.
All in all. It’s really not a bad life.
This slowing down thing.
You can click on the photos if you want to see them better. If you choose to share them that is fine, so long as you link back here. Thanks for reading.
You don’t drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there. Edwin Louis Cole