Tag: Weight loss

Adventure: It’s a Bike!

Deana2 Comments

Okay ladies and gents, I have some great news. Are you ready?

I bought a bike.

I know, that news seems pretty anti-climactic really. Especially after telling you guys how I totally lost my mind (or found it, either way) and went Democrat this fall. Compared to that, buying a bike may not sound like all that much.

You see it’s like this. I own a five speed and I hate it. You have to pedal like crazy just to get it to change gears. It can’t handle hills, it hurts my back and I can’t keep up with my friends when we ride the river.

Why do I own a five speed that I hate? Because my husband insisted I get a different bike, and I was in a mood that day. I’m not sure if it’s because he’s a man or he’s the primary bread-winner and I feel… well I don’t know how I feel. I just know that  the more he insisted I’d hate it, the more deeply my stubborn heels dug into the concrete and linoleum floors of Wal-Mart.

Who buys their bikes at Wal-Mart?

We do. Or rather we did. We purchased four bikes that day and he didn’t want to go broke doing it.

Like a lot of married couples I know where one partner works outside of the home and the other inside the home, there are at times power struggles. We were eyeball deep in just such a struggle the day we purchased my nasty bike.

My husband chose the store and the price he wanted to spend. He’s the breadwinner and I was in a… well let me just say a bad place in regards to how we handle things financial in our home. So when he picked out my bike, I balked and walked over to this really pretty dark blue five speed. The more he insisted I get the bike he picked out, the deeper my heels dug into the concrete and linoleum floors.

Home she came.

One ride up and down the moderate hills of our bike trails in Tulsa and I knew he was right. I hated it. Did I tell him that? Nope.

That was four years ago and yes, I’ve ridden a bike that I hate for four whole years because I am not about to tell him he’s right.

Now, I have a dilemma.  I’m trying to lose weight  and I have a bad ankle from a childhood injury that makes running, walking, and anything aerobic really very painful. Cycling, is my best option.

A lot of my friends ride. Some of my friends even compete. They are a wealth of wisdom. This time, I didn’t take my husband shopping with me.  Applause for stepping out of my normally timid, hugely co-dependant/male-dependant butt would be appropriate here. Really, I won’t mind.

This time, I did the research and picked out a bike I knew I would enjoy, be able to ride and could afford.
20111114-073911.jpgFor starters, I didn’t go to Wal-Mart. I went to Tom’s Bicycles in Tulsa. Tom’s is locally owned and operated. If you want to save jobs in America support locally owned stores. Toms has two stores in Tulsa, one on 68th and Peoria and one in the heart of MidTown on 15th (Cherry Street). I know nothing about bicycles and their staff helped me make the best choice for me. You can click the photo of the water bottle above to learn more about Toms.

20111114-073855.jpgThis is the bike Jenny helped me pick out. It’s a Giant Brand and is just my size. I’m only 5’4′ and I did not know bikes came in small, medium and large. This is the first size small I’ve had in years. This dieting thing is working already. I love this bike. It has 18 speeds. The bottom nine are on the right handle and the upper nine are on the left. I can changed gears up or down with a simple click of a switch.

This is a street bike. It’s not a blend or mountain bike. The tires are thin and oddly bare. I didn’t expect that. Not sure how it’ll handle on wet roads, but I’ll find out.

 Click on the photo above if you want to more about Giant Brand Bicycles.

Now, this bike does have one slightly annoying quirk. It likes to throw me off.

20111114-073814.jpgThey say that once you learn how to ride a bike, you never forget. “They” have never met the likes of me with a new bike and toe straps. See this photo? That little bugger held my left foot hostage five minutes into my maiden voyage and I crashed right in front of my house. I have gravel in my hand and elbow and my left thigh and right breast are deeply bruised by the handle bars. But you know what, I got back on and only crashed one other time.

Toms is closed on Mondays, but come Tuesday, the straps come off the pedals and I head back to Toms for gloves and a helmet. I’m thinking that’s probably wise. Don’t you?

So there you have it. I Deana, researched and purchased my very first street bike.

Let the adventure begin.

This post written by Deana O’Hara for Redemption’s Heart. November 14, 2011. All rights reserved.

Self Will Run Riot. No more Monday Menus

Deana3 Comments

Scripture calls it being handed over to your desires.

My 12 Step books call it an “Obsession of the mind” or “Self will run riot.”

Either way you put it, it means the same thing. God sits back and lets me work out my control issues until I’m dead tired, defeated, and humbled and remember that he is there to help. This isn’t a new thing, it’s really how I tend to run my life. I believe it was Ben Franklin who said, “God helps those who help themselves.”

The problem with that phrase is, it isn’t true. It’s not even scriptural.

God is a gentleman, yes he’s willing to help but do y’all remember the verse, “you have not because you ask not.” – yep, that’s me. I don’t ask for help. I’m more of the hey God look at me! See, I can do this all by myself. But the truth is, I can’t nor was I created to.

I thought the Monday menu was a good idea. And from a family planning perspective it probably was. Except that I spent hours pouring over cook books and web pages looking for ideas to piece together the perfect family menu that they would love and I could eat and still lose weight.  I was obsessed.

My doctor gave me simple instructions when he released me from his care, don’t gain weight. He also very kindly pointed out I was not in good health and he’d really like to see a different me by next June.

I have, over the years, tried preordered plans like Jenny Craig and Nutrisystem. I’ve even done Weight Watchers, LA Weight loss, Atkins, and South Beach Diet. I’ve swallowed a variety of pills from appetite control to fat blockers to cleansers all to no avail.  I’ve counted carbs, points, and fat grams until I couldn’t count anymore. I’ve also spent a few thousand dollars on equipment and videos over the years only to give up after a while.

In AA, when an alcoholic doesn’t want to admit they are an alcoholic they try what is called “Controlled drinking.” That basically means they white knuckle their way through just having one or only two drinks, or they abstain for a period of time to prove they can. Foodies like me do controlled eating. Alcoholics keep a private stash of booze, I keep a private stash of candy bars or chips or cookies or cakes.

It’s really no different. Except that for an alcoholic to fully recover they need to quit drinking completely. I cannot quit eating or I’ll starve to death.

I’m not going to bore y’all with this. Let’s just say it’s been a journey. This week in my new bible study, (http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/)  I learned about permission based eating. Basically that means I wait until my stomach growls before I eat. Sometimes I like that – most days I don’t. See, my stomach doesn’t growl when I think it should. But we’re getting there. I also became aware how often my brain tells me I should be hungry and when I stop and really listen to my stomach, I know I’m not and I pass on the food.

Another neat trick I learned — use the pause on my videos. Right now, I can’t keep up with them. I dropped a class at church because I couldn’t keep up. Even though it’s a wonderful class and the gal said go at your own pace, my pride over rode my desire to get in shape. Same with a bike trip. Several gals get together every week and ride 12 miles. I can’t keep up and I don’t want to make them wait for me, so I told them, let me get in better shape and I’ll join you then. I do the same with videos at home. I just turn them off. Then my mentor suggested something she did – hit the pause button, catch your breath and turn it back on. It doesn’t matter if it takes you two hours to do a one hour video, just make the goal to complete it.

I hadn’t thought of that.

 So that is where I’m at this week.

  1.  No more diet plans (which should make grocery shopping enjoyable again) 
  2. Permission based eating 
  3. Use my pause button and keep going. 
  4.  And last but certainly not least, it’s my spirit that is hungry, not my body, so Bible Study is essential for me.  Without God, this won’t have any kind of lasting results.

So that is it in a nutshell.  Confessions was not intended to be a foodie blog anyway. Confessions is just a place to practice my writing, and share stories. And besides I have much cooler things to share with you guys than my food issues, like The Messiah, Adventures in comedy, missions and family as well as saving up for my very first girlfriends only vacation that I’m taking next year. So, thank you for letting me have my rabbit trail, and now let’s get back on track, shall we?

 This post written by Deana O’Hara for Redemption’s Heart: Confessions of a Spiritual Bulimic. All rights reserved. November 15, 2010

Why do you Want to Lose Weight?

Deana4 Comments

Note: My stats are showing more and more people searching for bulimia — I don’t have the answers. That’s why I’m posting this tonight. I am receive a dozen or more hits every day now wanting to know about bulimic prayers, hope, healing, etc.  I’m just now coming face to face with the damages I caused my body when I was younger. While I no longer physically purge food — I was released from that captivity several years ago –  I do still at times over eat, over exercise,  and starve for the wrong reasons. — if any of this is an issue for you, please please PLEASE check out the page my friend gave me.  Setting Captives Free.  I’ve committed to it myself, starting today. It’s a wonderful sight. Thanks.

The first question I see in every weightloss program I’ve ever tried is “Why do you want to lose weight?”

That’s a loaded question, don’t you think? Why do any of us want to lose weight?

To:

  • Fit in that new dress / bathing suit.
  • Look good for vacation / wedding / class reunion.
  • Find a Mate. (Already have one)
  • Build my self-esteem
  • Be healthy and live longer.
  • Get my blood pressure and sugar back down to reasonable levels.
  • Be more successful as a worker / performer / speaker
  • Finally wear skinny jeans again.
  • Receive positive attention from others.

Lots of choices to that question, but something tells me (other than looking ahead) all of my answers are incorrect.

I ran into an old friend this weekend. Someone I hadn’t seen in ages. She looked great. What I noticed first though, was her eyes. They had this light that I feel like I’ve lost.  I wanted to know what she was doing differently. I mean I’m reading the Bible. I’m praying, I’m studying healthy eating habit and I’m exercising.

I’m.

I’m.

I’m.

I’m.

hmmmm

 

Then she said something really great – eating disorders cover false idols.

I had never until that very moment thought of the idol of being thin.

It was a total “aha” moment for me.

It was immediately obvious that I’m doing something very different from what she is doing. She’s living to honor God, I’m living to get thin again. No wonder my eyes look tired and her’s don’t.  If I’m is a contraction of I am. Maybe I’m focusing on the wrong I AM?

I wonder.

Think about it.

An idol is a false god — something that replaces the real God we have in Christ.

CONFESSION: Every single reason I have ever – in my life – had, for wanting to lose weight — is an idol. Approval, self-esteem, respect, personal health, success, control. None of my choices had anything to do with God. No wonder I continue to  fail. I’ve made it all about me.

What about you?

What is your reason for wanting to lose weight?  

  

This post written by Deana O’Hara for Redemption’s Heart: Confessions of a Spiritual Bulimic. All rights reserved. No goods or services were given in exchange for the endorsement of Setting Captives Free. I am only sharing a resource that I myself find to be very useful.