A Time to Die

Dear Friends, my beloved mother-on-law had a stroke on January 19 and another more severe one on January 20. My husband flew to Tampa to be by her side and make sure that she was taken care of. Mom showed pretty good improvement the first few days, but by the 25th she still could not lift her head, swallow, or sit up. At 86 years old, and having been fighting bone cancer for five years, Mom decided to involk her living will. She is refusing all treatment, and has been moved to a hospice care facility in Tampa.

The change in her demeanor was immediate. Safe and secure in the care center, and in her own pj’s Mom just shined. Her caretaker Beverly is with her and Bev tells us the funny stories about mom as well as her updates. As of today, mom is no longer opening her eyes, or communicating in anyway. Her blood pressure is so low it no longer registers with a cuff. It’s almost time.

She’s ready, but we aren’t.

I’m taking a week off of blogging and will be back next week.

I hope you understand.

EDITED to add: 

 February 2 at 4:31pm
Hi all,

I just wanted to let you know that Jeff’s Mom (Aunt Alice/Grandma) went home to be with the Lord at 2:30 this afternoon. Mom is a breast cancer survivor from 35 years ago and was a wonderful woman. Mom had suffered two strokes on Jan 19 and 20th and was placed in Hospice Care Facility in Tampa FLA at her request, on January 26. Hospice is a wonderful organization – and to see her there, in her own jammies, no wires or tubes or machines… she was beside herself with joy. Her last days were filled with peace and hope of the coming reunion with friends and family who had gone before. Mom was 86.

Funny thing is, I was in my truck picking up Dillon from school when she passed, and a country song was playing… something about flying up on the wings of angels and dancing with Jesus. The sun was shining and I could have sworn I heard her giggling beside me. Jeff’s cousin Cynthia said the same thing when she called him at 3… How awesome is that?

Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts, and prayers. they have meant a lot to our family.

Deana O’Hara


3 thoughts on “A Time to Die

  1. Sorry for your loss. I’m really glad to hear that she was able to choose how she wanted to spend her last days on earth. Marc’s dad basically decided to do the same thing and it’s kind of like his passing to the other side was more…gentle?!? It sounds like you were lucky to have had her touched your life. Again, sorry for your loss. Peace be with you.


  2. Thanks Rena. Yes, that sums up where we are at. Mom has had so many health issues over the past 12 months, we are in many ways happy for her. She couldn’t even walk across a room without having to stop and catch her breath. She’s a believer, and she’s dancing with Jesus today and that is comforting for all of us.

    It’s a mixed bag like you said. Having watched her suffer, we’re more relieved it is over than we are sad. Which sounds really strange.


  3. The death of a believer is such a mixture of all sorts of emotions. Physically, you are saddened by the fact that she is no longer there to talk with, but spiritually, you are rejoicing for her “final graduation” to her eternal home in Glory. As a believer, you did not “lose” her…you know exactly where she is, and you will be reunited again. Will keep you all in our prayers.


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