I have a lot of gardening to catch up on this Spring. Things to change, move, dig up and bury. I thought I’d share a few photos of what I found waiting for me in my own back yard.
Spring is my favorite time of year because I haven’t killed anything yet.
I’ve been talking about this movie for a while. 1. Because I’m a Donald Miller fan and 2. Because it is not only a great book (saved my hide about 8 years back), it is also a great movie. Blue Like Jazz opened in select cities last weekend and the list has been expanded this week. It’s even playing in Tulsa at Southroads 20 on 41st Street for you local readers.
I believe this is a must see movie for anyone grappling with life, fitting in, and finding who you are. Christian or not.
Disclaimer:
From Steve —
I made it clear to all our potential investors and/or heads of media companies, the vast majority of whom were fellow Christians, that this was not going to be a family movie. The reason was simple: How do you tell the story of a college kid who flees his Southern Baptist upbringing in suburban Houston to attend the ‘most godless campus in America’ without showing what that environment is like? And how can that environment be portrayed realistically in the context of a ‘family’ movie? Doesn’t have to be rated R, but it’s probably going to be PG-13, right?
– Director Steve Taylor
Blue Like Jazz is a semi-autobiographical look at Donald Miller’s search for life, meaning, and God. I already know the end of the story because I read his books and his blog. While this isn’t a warm fuzzy family movie, it is real and it is a great movie for any of us who have ever searched for answers. Check out the trailer then CLICK HERE FOR TICKET INFORMATION.
Great advice from a comic friend — “Honey if you don’t have people you can tell the truth to, your safe circle is too small.” – We all need people in our lives with whom we can be just ourselves. People we can tell the truth to and people who will tell us the truth in return. We need to cherish those relationships.
I really don’t have more to add to that right now. I think it’s enough.
Cherish your inner circle.
Create one if you must.
And then protect it with everything you have.
A very talented, very funny friend of mine drawing to “What if Cartoons Got Saved” by Chris Rice. I’m in awe.
I thought I was seeing things and had to look twice. This isn’t a catchy title, it’s real. Dark Chocolate cookies made with Avocados! – Oh my Gosh. I’m not domestic and yet I suddenly need to make these. Click on the READ MORE link above to see the recipe.
Not content with being the star of salads and every vegan’s go-to food, avocados have been making a bit of a splash on the dessert scene lately.
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“You look a lot younger on your profile picture than in real life.”
Thank you?
What kind of statement is that? I mean unless it’s retro week or something, I do keep my profile pics up-to-date. I tell people I have a 21-year-old and a 18-year-old. Unless I gave birth pre-puberty, I would think my age is self apparent. Apparently not to some. I do consider the source. The person in question was a 20 something comic who’d not yet met me in person and chose to believe I was younger because I was just starting out in comedy at the time.
Fast forward two years and add a lot more grey hair to the equation and I start believing in better living through chemistry. Clairol chemistry to be exact. Looking in the mirror while at the lake on April 1, I see more grey hair than I do red and the first thing that pops into my mind is, “Oh my gosh, I cannot meet John Branyan looking like this! I have to fix this, now.”
I packed my bags and left my family in the proverbial dust as I raced home to color my hair.
I didn’t have a lot of time. It was already 2 pm and the doors opened at 6 for the comedy concert.
I hit the drug store, bought a new shade of red that promised to cover the grey in 25 minutes and headed home.
I parted, combed, colored, covered and waited for Clairol to work her magic. The end result was splendid in my opinion. By the time the boys got home from the lake, I was sporting my new do. I even curled my hair and put on make up – just to meet John. It was almost 4:30 by time the guys made it home. We rushed out the door to go stand in line for good seats.
The show was wonderful.
Meeting John Branyan and Tim Hawkins (both fellow CCA Comics) afterwards was a huge treat.
John was gracious and kind and said he’s looking forward to seeing me again in Nashville in June at our conference.
Watching Tim lay his head on the table when my son asked him to autograph his butt was truly priceless.
None of that however compares to 24 hours later, at my son’s soccer game when I turn to my husband and ask, “Is it me or are people looking at me funny?”
“They aren’t looking at you funny, they are just smiling.”
“Why are they smiling?”
He is in the danger zone and he knows it. Pausing for wisdom – or an earthquake to eat him whole – whichever comes first, he finally fesses up.
“Well, I’m curious. Did you mean to only color the front of your hair?”
“WHAT?”
“I mean it looks great, it’s just that you missed the entire back of your head, that’s all.”
NICE.
I called my girlfriend Michele, who was also at the concert to ask her if she noticed. She did. She thought I did it on purpose and didn’t say anything.
I let her live because in all fairness, we were already there – what was anyone going to do? Still – I went out in public looking like a middle-aged punk rock, 80’s flash back wanna be with big hair and NO ONE TOLD ME!
Alright ladies and gents. Your turn. While I’m shampooing with Prell to strip this back out and try again, I’d love to hear about your fashion catastrophes.
“Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.” – Maya Angelou
Do you ever feel like no one notices that you’ve changed? We work really hard to overcome a bad habit, fear, impatience, anger, an addiction or whatever and we look around and expect people to notice that we are doing new things only no one does. They are still acting and reacting as if you are the old you. Do you ever get frustrated by that? I do. I know I shouldn’t. But I do.
I have a confession to make: I’m not always happy with my changes – no matter how wonderfully great and hard-earned they are – if no one notices. To be honest, I have a broken mirror. Whenever I look at someone and I notice they are seeing “me” from 20 years ago and not the me I am today, all my hard work crumbles and I begin to doubt that I’ve really changed at all.
When I get like that I need to remember three things. 1. I need to get over myself and 2. I have changed even if people don’t notice. 3. God notices and that is really all that matters.
20 years ago I was a fearful, sitting on my hands so that no one could see them shake, quiet (unless I was mad then I was eruptive), passive/aggressive, boy crazy, insecure, verge of tears mess most of the time. 20 years ago, I read tarot cards, believed in reincarnation, could drink 16 shots of tequila in one sitting and live to tell about it, smoked more than cigarettes, thought sitting in the pews at church was all I’d ever be allowed to do and didn’t trust a living soul if my life depended on it. 20 years ago I spent more time apologizing for being alive than I spent actually living.
Through God’s amazing and grace, His work in me and in part my commitment to that work, I am nowhere near that woman today and while I’m thankful, I still sometimes want people to really notice.
If you’ve been there then you know what I’m talking about. It stinks, doesn’t it? It’s not like we want a ticker tape parade or something, well sometimes I do but that’s another story. Mostly though we do want people to at least acknowledge that we’ve changed in a positive light, right? Change is hard. It takes work and commitment. Of course we want people to notice. What is the point of changing if no one notices?
I believe it is human nature to desire positive feedback and encouragement for all of our hard work. Having said that though, it isn’t always reality and that is okay.
We aren’t changing for them anyway, right?
Right.
I could write a book on all the things I’ve learned – and relearned – about change over the past 20 years. I’ll just leave you with four.
1. Change has to be for me. If the only reason I am changing is to please someone else, the change won’t last. If my only reward is approval rather than growth I’m striving for then I am left at the mercy of the whims and desires of others. I’m always off-balance and never whole. Real change starts from within and requires a trust in something outside of ourselves. A higher power. God. When I choose to change for another person than I’ve made them my God and that’s never good.
2. Some people don’t want me to change and they will resist the changes we make to ourselves. — There will be people who, for whatever reason, do not want you or me to change. They have a vested interest in our staying the same. We meet a need, whether it’s a healthy need or not doesn’t matter. It could be as simple as they like to be in control and don’t like no longer being able to control us. OR more than likely when I change, I upset the status quo. My changing does sometimes require a change in them and they don’t want to change so they resist and try to pull us back into our old selves. Staying true to our path takes commitment.
3. People continue to see what they expect to see. – This is the most difficult one for me to accept. I’ve had to wrestle this one recently because I catch myself playing “Don’t you see? Look at me! Look at what I’m doing.” I catch myself feeling defeated when I hear someone talk about me as if I were still the old me. As long as I’m striving for the uncontrollable – another person’s thought process – I’ll always be striving and I’ll never have peace. Until they realize they need to update their view of me, they will always see what they want.
“If people refuse to look at you in a new light and they can only see you for what you were, only see you for the mistakes you’ve made, if they don’t realize that you are not your mistakes, then they have to go.” ― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
Now here’s the trick. We don’t need to be whiny or self-righteous about it. I’ve read stories and blogs by people who kind of react with a “I’ll just take my dolly and play with someone else then.” or “if you won’t stand by me through my failures then you can’t be with me during my success.” kind of attitude and that isn’t what I’m striving for here. And yes I’ve read those. This isn’t about natural consequences for bad choices. This is more about letting go of people who hold us back to our old selves. Which brings me to my last point –
4. Sometimes we have to find a new tribe. — This is especially true for those of us with addictions. Whether it is food, alcohol, drugs, co-dependency or whatever, we need to surround ourselves with like-minded people who are committed to change and growth. The only way to make room for the new is to let go of the old – in love –
If your past reputation is really holding you back, you may just have to change your environment – Sometimes no matter what you do, you can’t shake your old reputation, and that prevents you from accessing the things you want (friends, respect, etc.). No matter how much you try to convince people you’re different, it falls on deaf ears and you keep getting the same poor results you always have. At times the right decision is to cut your losses and move on to a new environment, where the people you meet will be able to see you objectively. – CHRIS
This does not require some grand announcement loaded with self pity either. Keep changing, keep growing no matter what other people do or don’t do and find your tribe. It’s worth it. You are worth it.
Added 2:00 pm April 4. — Continuing with poetry month – my newest submission to the group — the prompt was “the cottonwood tree I lived in as a child.” In publishing this on my blog, I caused some confusion in my group — in light of that, I’m going to be more careful and probably keep my group writing separate from my blog writing. Learning a new thing means being willing to make mistakes.
The cottonwood tree I lived in as a child
sat on a hill
in a field far away.
Cattle lay with me
for respite from the heat.
A lone bull stood watch by day
and at night
hoot owls sang their song
while the moon rose
and cotton wisps
like wishes
flew through the air.
Deana O'Hara - Speaker, Comedian, Writer 