My Garden Shed, she is finished!

June 21, 2010June 30, 2010 Deana5 Comments

Do you remember a few weeks ago when I blogged about wanting to redo our garden shed?

Well it’s finished!

The picture to the left is our shed before we painted it. – I was in a patriotic mood the year we bought that shed and wanted our home to be red, white and blue – a color combination very popular in New England, but not so popular in Oklahoma. I wound up choosing a more color neutral pallet for our house so that it would fit in with our neighborhood that prefers beige to everything else. What worked for the shed was rejected for the main house. I still like the colors, but it is time for a change. And wow – did I change it.

Not being able to work in my garden is probably the most difficult part of my recovery from surgery. I love working in my gardens. Something about it is peaceful and comforting. Still, just because I can’t physically work in them doesn’t mean that I cannot plan them.So that’s what I’ve been doing — working through new plans.

I told you a few days ago about how I was on the Better Homes and Gardens pages and got inspired to redo our garden shed. I thought my husband was going to hold his breath until he turned blue in Home Depot and I still walked out of the store with watermelon, Green Apple, and Lilac paints. I am a blessed woman.My oldest painted and I helped as I could. Yes, DH thinks he deserves canonization for it, but Lutheran’s don’t canonize, so the poor man is out of luck.

This cute sign (Above) – Plant Grow Bloom was purchased from Amanda’s Gift Shop on E-bay

The metal flowers below were purchased from Lowes Hardware store.

If you look closely, we had to use special brackets (purchased separately) at the top of the wire sculpture. The hardware that came with the flowers was not sufficient to attach to the wall. The watermelon color is by Glidden and the green and lilac are Behr. I wanted all three in Behr, but you are not allowed to cross brands. Meaning, I cannot pick up a Glidden color card and ask the Lowes guy to mix it in a non Glidden paint and vice versa. Nothing against Glidden, it’s a great paint, I just prefer Behr for longevity. Having said that, I really like Glidden’s exterior color pallet this year, it’s bright, and very versatile.

The watermelon was a little intense, so we used lilac with the green apple on the sides.

garden 2010 699 — Side view -- now to go back and add the landscape.

So that is my new garden shed. Pretty hunh? Being the only female in my house, I’m pretty much the only one who likes it. My husband has jokingly told me his tools may not be able to live in such a place. And even though he’s not on the same artistic page as I, he does agree this project and these colors have not yet killed him.

We still have landscaping to finish. Pea gravel for the front of the doors, some flowers and maybe a rose-bush or two. I have a wisteria that I need to move and will probably put it next to the shed for stability. The white picket fence in the back ground is new as well. My dogs were destroying the fence line and have broken the main gate too many times, which is why we split the yard this year.

And that is how I spent my recovery time – blue printing and planning my gardens. I have more to come and as time and the doctor allows, I’ll be busy.

Have a great day ya’ll and don’t forget your sun screen.

On a side note, I was linked to from Shed Building Master’s Class last week. What a huge compliment. If you want to know more about building your own shed, please be sure to check them out. It’s a really nice and professional looking piece.

It’s Like Dr Seuss for your house

April 8, 2010April 8, 2010 Deana6 Comments

“The act of creation is a profoundly satisfying experience. Taking an abstract idea, giving it form, refining proportions, placing lines, integrating functionality, and giving this spark of imagination a real, physical presence is a process that gives me great joy.” – Vincent Leman of Dust Furniture

I’m taking a much need break over my whiney health issues to bring you something really really cool. I was searching last night for a new cabinet for our bathroom when I found this page. I had to do a double take, because surely this is a set designer for Whooville, right? Nope. Vincent Leman is a carpentry artist out of Indiana and I think his page rocks!

Even though he does create more compact pieces, most of his design work requires larger rooms in order to fully appreciate their function and form. Check out the blue book-case to the right. Don’t you just love the lines, and angles? I do.

Honey, I know what I want for my birthday!

I’m guessing his work is really more appropriate for libraries and story telling corners, or classrooms even. But still — wouldn’t you just love having one of these pieces in say a home nursery or child’s playroom?

I’m in love, no doubt about it. And I wish beyond wishes that I had a child’s room to decorate or some other fun type place in my home to put one of these wonderful pieces.

So, that’s my fun and frivolous for today.

Hope you guys are having a wonderfully fun Thursday. Go outside, enjoy the sunshine and breathe deep the joys found in today.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for the above mentioned books, authors, or blogs. I am only recommending people, writers, that I personally enjoy and think might be of interest to my readers. I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

This post written by Deana O’Hara for Redemption’s Heart, April 8, 2010. All rights reserved.

Things a Mom Says

March 18, 2010 Deana2 Comments

My boys are making a video over Spring Break. Charlie is playing with his new Mac Imaging Software and Dillon is enjoying the ride. Making videos is nothing new for these boys. I bought Charlie his first video camera when he was 13 and they have been making movies ever since. His love for filmography, writing, and editing is in part what led him to major in broadcast journalism in college. He’s smart, good-looking, and funny. I think he’ll do well.

I was listening yesterday to my boys discuss a scene which would involve Dillon flying through the air, suspended (I’m assuming) by some sort of wire and harness. My maternal-protection instincts kicked in and as nonchalantly as possible, I interjected my two-cents.

“We don’t have the budget for special effects.”

I could see the wheels turning in their creative brains. Their eyes danced and as soon as they made eye contact, Charlie blurted out the inevitable.

“I got it. Yes we do!”

I can only attribute what happened next to the fact that I’ve been their mom for 19 years and I know how they think.

“No. You cannot hang your brother from the roof with the dog harness.”

QUESTION: Mom’s say the craziest things, what crazy thing have you said to your kids that makes you laugh?

Living With Epilepsy: Baseball

March 9, 2010July 8, 2010 Deana3 Comments

getting ready to catch — Suiting up and Showing up

It doesn’t matter that he’s never played before, neither has 3/4 of the team. It doesn’t even matter if the ball is coming at him at 70 miles per hour, he wants to catch. Turns out, he’s really good at catching. It doesn’t even matter that I have a thousand what if scenarios running through my head that put him in the hospital with my “I told you so’s” spilling out of my mouth. What matters is, he doesn’t want to be treated like a kid with a disability. He is a kid who wants to be a kid and unless I want to emotionally and spiritually cripple him with my own fears, I have to let him.

D has had epilepsy (ADNFLE) since he was six and is one of the bravest kids I know.

He’s fought epilepsy, (16 months seizure free and counting)

and he’s learning how to drive; standing behind a plate facing down 70 mph baseballs and runners twice his size ain’t nothin’ compared to that. So, I keep my what if’s to myself and let him be who he is, knowing that God doesn’t have grandchildren and that He holds my hands even when I’m watching my youngest play through my fingers in front of my face.

: He even played third base.

For more information about epilepsy please see The Epilepsy Foundation.

To help fund research and find a cure please see their Research Funding Challenge today.

Tiger’s Confession: I’m Sorry vs I Was Wrong

February 22, 2010February 23, 2010 Deana4 Comments

Me — “Tell your brother that you’re sorry.”

Child “Sooorrryyy!”

Me – “No, say you’re sorry like you mean it!”

Eye roll.

Sigh.

Me “Well if you two don’t make up, I’m going to make you sit on the couch and hold hands until you forgive each other.”

— Word to the wise N-E-V-E-R do that if you have boys. I won’t go into details, let us just say, it wasn’t pretty.

Teaching my boys how to apologize and how to forgive is no easy feat. And to make matter worse they have a neurotic mother who tends to apologize for everything.

Are you having a bad day? – I’m sorry.

Did I forget to call? – I’m sorry.

Is it raining? – I’m sorry.

Do I think you are mad at me? — oh dear God, I’m-sincerely-horribly-sorry-and-I-hope-you-will-forgive-me-because-I’ve-obviously-done something-horribly-terribly-wrong-or-there-wouldn’t-be-this-tension-between-us! (DEEP BREATH) tell-me-you-forgive-me-before-I-hyperventilate-and pass-out!

I’m am a recovering apology queen. If I think for a minute that I have done something wrong, I will immediately apologize and ask for forgiveness, even for something that is the other person’s issue, just so that I do not have to suffer the uncomfortable consequences of relational tension.

There is a world of difference between “I’m sorry.” and “I was wrong.”

I was wrong to call another blogger friend an “overstuffed pig” last year. I did feel badly about that once I thought about it and had to make amends – repent, apologize, and seek forgiveness. My actions were out of line and had a negative impact on another human being. My hostility was undeserved. I began by telling him I was wrong. Why I thought I was wrong and wanted to make it right. I’d sinned, that was an appropriate action step for sin.

VS.

I was sorry that I thought I’d offended a pastor on his blog a year or so ago — sorry because I didn’t want any ill will between us, I liked him and I wanted him to like me. Just because I felt uncomfortable, doesn’t mean I did anything wrong. It’s taken me a long time to learn I don’t need to repent of having a different opinion than someone else. And if someone chooses to take offense at my different opinion that does not mean I have sinned. That’s a tough one for me. I did apologize for giving voice to my opinions and for possibly offending him and his response fascinated me –

“No sin committed, therefore no forgiveness needed nor offered.”

You’d think I’d be relieved – but what I felt was panic. I didn’t understand the grace and wisdom behind those words for a very long time. I was so freaked out by his response that it took me over a year to work up the nerve to talk to him again. True story.

In time I understood that he was right. I hadn’t done anything wrong. I wasn’t repenting for sin, I was lamenting over potential loss of good will and tried to patch it up before the boat sank. I was simply afraid. He saw through that fear and offered truth and grace. Through that example, I’ve learned how to help my own boys discern sorry from wrong and forgiveness from peace treaties.

A very good example of personal accountability, integrity, and honesty can be seen in Tiger Wood’s public apology that aired last Friday. If you haven’t seen it you can see it here: Tiger’s very public apology

I’ve already seen the comments and posts about how “it was scripted.”, “It’s just a PR.”, “He’s a buddhist? He needs Jesus and then we’ll talk” Faith issues aside, I am quite honestly, impressed by his statement. I’m also just as impressed with what he didn’t say, as I am what he did say.

He could have blamed others: “I had an unhappy childhood.” He could have made jokes or blamed his wife for not understanding him. Or he could have blamed the other women — “They came on to me.”

But he didn’t.

He could have also said “I’m sorry and I won’t do it again” and expected his responsibility to end right there.

Instead he did more than that.

Think what you may of him, his actions, his confession, or his faith, his confession does contain four very important elements.

He named the sin – “I had affairs. I cheated. What I did was unacceptable.”
He took personal responsibility: “I was wrong. I brought this on myself. I recognize I have brought this on myself. And I know above all I am the one who needs to change.”
He acknowledged the impact his choices and actions had on others: “I hurt my wife, my kids, my mother, my wife’s family, my friends, my foundation, and kids all around the world who admired me.”
He acknowledges active repentance: “My real apology to her (Elin) will not come in the form of words. It will come from my behavior over time.” And he named some of those behavioral changes that will enable him to take right action.

What I like is that Tiger seems to understand that this apology doesn’t automatically make everything okay now. He acknowledges, and owns his part and his part alone. Are there two sides or more to this story? Sure, there probably is, but he doesn’t need to be concerned with any sidewalk except his own. Tiger seems to understand this is about a life time of change that he, and his family, has to look forward to.

I have too much debris on my own sidewalk to stand as judge and jury over Tiger’s apology. It’s not my place to decide whether or not he is sincere or even whether or not I’m going to forgive him. God alone knows the heart of a man (or woman) and He calls us to forgive as we have been forgiven.

Repentance doesn’t end with I was wrong or I’m sorry, it begins there. I wish him well on his journey.

Check back tomorrow while I write about my journey back through the pages of liturgical worship, Lent, and finding Christ in the seasons.

The Higher Road to liturgical literacy

February 8, 2010February 22, 2010 Deana2 Comments

Funerals denied. Ashes held for ransom. Heirlooms stolen by angry family member. An old friend suddenly dies.The meanest pastor in the world is layed to rest. And I don’t have the faintest clue which road to travel.

Hearts are still tender today. It’s been a long strange road this past week and we aren’t finished walking it yet. Mom’s estate will not be settled until the 19 of February. And on that day a small few will gather to spread Mom’s ashes in Tampa Bay. Another memorial service will be held in Chicago at a later date.

There have been many opportunities to walk the low roads this week. Chances to fight fire with fire. Bark out orders, smack down the arrogant, and have our way. Lucky for me I married my opposite. While he may have the same less than sanctified thoughts that I can have, he chooses not to act on them. I like that about him.

My nemesis passed this week and once again my feelings are raw as I remember his words and actions over the years. He was the first person I ever met in my life who openly and publically hated me and called me names. I’ve been disliked, avoided even – but to be hated and called names? That was new. I probably would not have minded so much, if I hadn’t adored him and his wife as much as I did. We chose not to attend his funeral. I’m not sure if that was the right choice or not, but it was the best choice for us this weekend.

Having said that, I really feel I have little to offer just yet. Jeff hasn’t been able to play praise music all week – which is rough when you lead worship, kwim? And I haven’t been able to write.

It’s all part of the grieving processes. Before we know it, our words will once again flow. Until then, I’d like to offer up this blog post by Pastor Beecroft. I can come up with a funny here – if you really must know, I read it because I thought it was a sermon on sex. Which is not my fault — he wrote all over facebook that this was Sex Sunday.

This is what happens when you are liturgically illiterate.

Enjoy!

Sexegesima 2010 — The Parable of the Sower

My Husband, The Prophet

January 28, 2010January 28, 2010 Deana2 Comments

Jeff: Ooh blueberry cobbler! My favorite. Is that what you are making for dinner?

We’ve been together for 22 years and he knows me. Having dessert for dinner on a cold icy snow-stormy night would not be that far-fetched. But not tonight. Tonight I wanted to impress him. Contrary to popular belief, I really do like to impress my husband from time to time. I think he rocks.

Me: No, I’m making Cornish hens for dinner. The cobbler is for dessert.

Before you start thinking I’m this wonderful cook or something, I really need to tell you that my house has a kitchen because it came with one. And my family is well fed because, well… I try, but you know…I’m not Julia Child. I’m not even that other Julia chick that wrote the blog that got made into a movie. I’m the daughter of a baby boomer. I don’t sew and cooking is questionable.

Granted I do have my days where I am able to cook fantabulous meals. I think I just made that word up. Fantabulous is a good word. It means edible.

Apparently though, today is not one of those fantabulous days.

In honor of today’s winter storm I want to be daring and cook a fancy meal. I want to cook the kind of meal that is great to eat by candlelight, in case the power goes out. With my Cornish hens thawing in a sink full of cool water, I whip up a mean blueberry cobbler thing — (Cheaters cobbler: canned blue berries with yellow cake mix sprinkled on top. Dot with butter and bake for 30 minutes at 350 degrees.)

I bake the hens at 350 degrees for 90 minutes. They are brown and yummy looking. The legs wiggle when I move them and juices from the breast runs clear. They are P-E-R-F-E-C-T. I carefully set each plate with one Cornish hen, mashed potatoes and steamed snow peas. Everything looks and smells wonderful! My husband smiles, I smile and my son (who is already cutting into his hen) asks, “Mom is chicken supposed to bleed red all over everything?”

You know, blueberry cobbler for dinner on a cold, snowy night isn’t really that bad.

I Love You Too Mom

January 22, 2010January 22, 2010 Deana2 Comments

Don’t over react. Just stay calm and smile. You can shout for joy AFTER you leave the school parking lot. Just don’t let him see you do it.

I tell my boys I love them every morning and every night before bed. For TWO Looooong years, my youngest (now 16) would pretend not to hear me, or roll his eyes. There isn’t a trick in the world that could coax him into saying it back. And hugs? Forget about it.

One week ago, the impossible happened. I dropped him off at school, said I love you like I always do and there it was. Mumbled, but there… “yeah, I love you too.” With that, he closed the door.

At least I waited until I was on the highway before I screamed.

And then Saturday he even let me hug him.

Wow.. every day he says I love you too.

Don’t make a big deal out of it, or he’ll go back into cool guy status.

I wonder if God ever feels that way. I mean, he sends me things every day just to show me he loves me. Do I tell him I love him back, or do I roll my eyes?

Thoughts on Marriage

January 21, 2010January 22, 2010 DeanaLeave a comment

Now that I have totally silenced even the most loyal of readers with yesterday’s post, I thought I’d switch gears ever so slightly. Before I do, let me add that some women can be just as double minded and that post was meant to cover both. I’ve seen both sides, and probably played them back in the day.

You may not know this, but I am a former member of the he-Woman’s Man-Haters club. I loved female comics who ripped men. I loved it when TV shows made the wife out to be the savior of the day, and the man of the house a bumbling fool.

I wanted to believe myself to be a feminist.

Forget submission, forget marriage, forget all of it. I’m a boomer’s child and the world is my oyster. I will never belong to the First Wives Club. I’ll never be divorced, because I’m never getting married. I am my own woman and heaven help the man that tries to tame me. I won’t let him.

I had a chip on my shoulder the size of Fort Knox.

Truth is though, I didn’t hate men, I was afraid of them. I have a busted picker. When I was younger, if our eyes met across a crowed room and my heart started pounding 280, he either had a flask in his pocket, or a record a mile long. I could pick a man sure to break my heart without even trying. So I stopped trying, which is how I met my husband.

I didn’t marry a man who wanted to tame me. I married a man who wanted to love me and there is a difference. We’ll be married for 20 years this August.

My early career placed me as the only woman on an all male staff. These guys taught me a lot – mostly about smoking, drinking, and swearing along with construction. They also taught me about integrity, trust, safety, and smarts. Some of those lessons were easy to learn, others came from stupid choices. Smart choice: Hang with the guys who are happily married and talk well of their wives. Not so smart choice: Letting your site partner come back to your hotel room to call his wife and let her know he’s running late. Once I figured out why he was running late — false hopes and ambitions — I kicked him out. I also paid for that by having to listen to my sight foreman rip me apart for an hour and a half the next day for being so stupid. The situation could have been a lot worse, and I’m thankful it wasn’t. I actually know other gals on the field who were raped by techs they worked with.

Personal note here: Rape is always about control and violence. My comments do not mean to imply that what happened to some of my counterparts was in any way shape or form their fault!

And before anyone comments on the unfairness of my sight forman — I’d been flirting with said partner the whole trip because I thought he was safely married. That was a huge mistake. My partner liked to dabble when he traveled, I didn’t know that. Besides, it isn’t fair to flirt with a married man. That was a lesson I had to learn a lot when I was in my 20’s. It was never about sex when I did it, it was always about fear, control and manipulation. I don’t have the right to throw stones. I’ve broken too many mirrors doing that.

Being tough, thinking I can always make the right choices and take care of myself without anyone’s help isn’t an easy road.

Learning how to trust my husband comes and goes. The more my husband and I grow in our relationship with Christ, the closer we become to being one. I am always amazed at how God can take two very broken people and make them into his likeness.

While I may have spent our early years totally wrapped up in “him,” I am also developing me right now. We are learning to follow the ebb and flow of life and maturity, rediscovering ourselves and eachother. We are polar opposites and I like that today. He keeps me grounded. It’s a fun journey. He’s the one who teaches me about the kind of man who can be trusted, and I listen to his insticts. He also teaches me about the kind of woman who can be trusted. I introduce him as well. I make sure that people know we are together. Nothing sets him on higher ground than my arm on his when we walk into a room.

As I was working on these two posts, I recieved a phone call from my husband telling me that his mom had a stroke and he is leaving Denver to be with her in Florida. She didn’t know he was there yesterday and my heart broke for him. Today, her eyes are open, she is trying to talk and even though she is weak, she can move her legs. The only real damage right now seems to be her left arm and her speach. Mom is 86. We have decisions to make, and we’ll make them together. I don’t know when he’ll be home, but I’m holding down the fort taking care of our son and praying.

Another Milestone

January 13, 2010 Deana3 Comments

If God were to line up all of the teenage boys in the world and tell me that I could pick whichever two I wanted, I’d pick mine again and again.

My oldest son turns 19 today. Gone are the days of balloons in his room and banners on the garage door. He’s in college and this is the first birthday away from home. We celebrated last weekend by eating at Joe’s Crab Shack, a family tradition. I’m sure he’ll survive the day just fine.

Even so, is it okay to say that for today, I wish he were here?