There is apparently a new tradition going around this year called “Elf on a Shelf.” Some elves are good and some are mischievous I had something similar to that growing up, we called it “rats in the pantry.” They were pretty mischievous as well, but at least they left us presents every day.
I miss the good old days when I innocently believed
that the worst thing I could ever have in a sling
was my arm.
Our oldest home from college and he found my
Belly Dancing for Beginners DVD.
He told me he now needs money for therapy.
I told him if I have to pay for therapy, he should at least see the costume.
I haven’t seen him in two hours.
Things you never want to hear your gynecologist say:
“We’ll just hook up some tiny electrodes and…”
Let’s face it, there is no good way to end that sentence.
And he wonders why I ask for stunt doubles and roofies.
Turns out, he has “ethical issues” with both.
Electrocuting me until I pee however, is perfectly fine.
Go figure.
Sadist.
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For the Hyperbole Impaired: I’m having multi-tasking “issues” and doc wanted to look at a solution and run tests. When asked to describe the test all he said was “We are going to hook up some electrodes and basically make your bladder misbehave” I’m not a nurse or a medical technician, there was no way I was going to know that did not mean “electrocute you until you pee.”
ESPN has reported that the real ref’s are back so let’s hear it for our boys and let’s play some FOOTBALL!
Deana O'Hara - Speaker, Comedian, Writer 