Category: Family Life

Meet my family and follow along as we traverse the sometimes unfamiliar waters of ADHD, Epilepsy, and life as a ministry family.

Monday Menu: October 25, 2010

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Stuffed Peppers
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I didn’t post a menu last week, and you know what happened? I didn’t follow a plan and I didn’t lose weight. hmm. Coincidence? I doubt it. I learned something though. After two weeks of no sugar and not much flour, I had energy, my stomach didn’t hurt, and I just felt better all the way around. Last week, I ate sugar and flour and had stomach aches and head aches all week. That, and I also gained three pounds. Healthy eating does not happen by accident, therefore as annoying as menu planning is to me (I’d much rather wait and see what I feel like eating than plan it) planning works. We have worked the following things into our menu so far:

SUNDAY: We are not the big Sunday Dinner family type. Sunday is church and football and my day off. I provide a buffet of choices, sandwiches, snacks, fruit and whatever else the guys can grab and go during game day — once in a while I’ll throw in slow cooker chili made on Saturday night  or left over meat from Saturday, but that is really about all.

SATURDAY: Used to be our sports day and Jeff’s work day at the Mission Start. Now that D-man is no longer playing soccer and Jeff only works at the plant every other week, we’ve changed Saturdays to family night.  Saturdays are my red meat nights, whether it’s a roast, or stew or something else, I make sure to plan a good dinner on Saturdays.

MONDAY AND FRIDAY: Fish night. — I am not a big fish eater, I’m not even a  fish cooker, but with my now being on blood pressure medicine, my doctor has encouraged me to expand my horizons and learn how to cook fish so there you go.

TUESDAY AND WEDNESDAY: Are Chicken and or Turkey and sometimes pork.

THURSDAY: Is my 100% vegetarian night. This is where I really get to be creative and work up dishes that taste wonderful and are nutritious.

We all lead very busy lives, and I won’t always follow this plan, but it’s a start. 

My Menu for this week is simple:

Mon – Salmon with fingerlings potatoes and green beans.

Tue – Red Wine Pork Chops 

Wed: Stuffed Peppers

Thurs: Ratatouili on spaghetti squash

Friday — I’m performing in Yukon on Friday, and so we’ll be eating out.

Saturday: Jeff is at Ablaze and Dillon is at a dance – I’ll be home alone (between playing chauffeur) and will simply make slowcooker chili to be enjoyed on Sunday.

And that’s my plan for this week. What’s yours?

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Fall Break: Letting Go Again

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“Mom, could you please take your hands off the ceiling of my car? You’re freaking me out.” — D-man yesterday as he drove home from school.

I rode with my youngest for the very first time yesterday. He did great. I looked like spider woman with my arms splayed in every direction and my feet pumping imaginary breaks at various points of our 10 mile drive home from school. Learning how to drive is a rite of passage that I wasn’t sure D-man would ever have. He’s had epilepsy since he was six and until we got it under control, driving was a non issue. He hit his two-year seizure free mark on October 5. One more year, and we can buy life insurance. I am happy for him and sad all at once.

DH taught our oldest to drive, and I didn’t ride with him until he had his license. Because of D-man’s busy daytime schedule of high school and Vo-Tech, we are in the car a lot. It only makes sense that I  let him drive as much as possible even if it means my learning how to not hang onto the ceiling. While, I’m happy for him there is a real part of me that knows my baby is spreading wings, and I have to let go a little more. He’s a junior this year, and he’s already told us that he plans on leaving for Nashville once he graduates. Oh boy.

To keep me on my toes, our oldest called on Sunday to let us know that fall break starts on Wed, BUT he wants to go to Texas with some buddies for a couple of days and he’ll be home for the weekend. It seems there is this girl that he met through a friend – via Skype – and they are planning on meeting in person. Telling me he wanted to go to Cancun with his buddies for Spring Break would have scared me less than this. I was in a funk for two days. He’s 19, and he crossed state lines to meet a girl! sigh.

This is  a wonderful season for my guys. They are testing their wings, and as a mom I have to let them, even when I want to strap myself to their sun visor like some Saint Christopher amulet. We’ve raised them well. All I can do is keep creating a home worth coming home to – and good memories for them to keep in their hearts and trust that God knows the plans he has for them, plans not to harm them but to give them a future and a hope. (Jer 29:11) God doesn’t have grandchildren.

We gave them wings, guess I should let them fly hunh?

Tulsa Oktoberfest Starts Tonight

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Tulsa Oktoberfest was rated in top ten Oktoberfests in the country according to USA Today.  I wouldn’t go when the kids were little, but now that they are older, we try to go every few years or so during the day. It’s always a fun time for the family.  Many people from our church work in the beer tents (It’s a Lutheran Thing) and being German we do like to celebrate our heritage. Proceeds from Oktoberfest benefit Tulsa’s Parks and Recreation. Daytime activities, include rides, arts and crafts, fun music and great German Food. For more information, check out the Oktoberfest Web Page.

Friday Funny PG-13, Date Night

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I love date night. It’s an excuse to dress up and be adults and try to be interesting again. It also beats walking around in sweats with my hair pulled back in pony tail. Which, sadly very easily becomes my stay-home-wife costume most days. I get in slumps where I know I’m not going anywhere important and I get lazy. I’m very female, I love to be pursued by man – in every sense of the word. Even on the days when I am pushing his hands away and telling him “not now” I really love it. I need date nights.

While spontaneous dates can be fun, I prefer the planned ahead kind. I like knowing it’s on the calendar, that he’s planned it out and all I have to do is get dolled up – for him – and be ready to go out when he gets home.  Jeff told me on Monday that he wanted to go out on Thursday and I had all week to plan and look ahead. I love the anticipation. We wound up going to one of my favorite restaurant in Utica Square and went to a new wine bar after that. The whole night was planned and I didn’t have to do a thing — PERFECT!

Relationship books will tell you that it is important to schedule dates and even sex, otherwise things like that get left to the way side of marriage, kids, and jobs. I wholeheartedly agree, while spontaneity has its perks, planning can be a lot fun.

Several years ago, I decided to be cute with my hubby’s blackberry. This little gem contains the life, the universe, and everything and has a nifty calendar feature. I started simply enough, posting important dates like birthdays, anniversaries, school plays and then I put things like “send your wife flowers today.” Then for fun, I added a little something extra — I picked a random date that was open and entered a lunch date in which he was to “go home and ravish wife.” In other words, I scheduled a sex date for the middle of the day just for fun.

I overlooked one small item. Corporate issued cell phones sync to corporate view calendars. Every day my husband plugged his blackberry into his computer to upload his calendar. Imagine his surprise when his secretary called him to say that she was trying to schedule a meeting for him but he had a conflict. When he asked her what kind of conflict she hesitated and then giggled.

“Uh, it says here that you have a lunch date to go home and ravish your wife. Should I move that out or do you want me to deny this other meeting?”

I no longer have access to his cell phone.

So tell me, what is the funniest thing you have done with your husband or significant other in trying to be romantic?

Written by: Deana O’Hara for Redemption’s Heart: Confessions of a Spiritual Bulimic. All rights reserved. October 15, 2010

Monday Menus: October 11 2010

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Confession: I sometimes treat my stay at home role as something I’m doing until my son graduates and I can go get a “real” job. The downside of that is multifaceted. Not only do I miss the moment, my family misses the connection while I dream and plan my days away.

Choosing to leave my telecommunications job in 1997 to stay home and raise our boys was definitely the right choice. Staying home was a lot more fun when they were little and in grade school because I had things I could be involved in. I loved being a home room mom, planning school events and even serving on the Parent Teacher League.  Now that my boys are in high school and college, there isn’t as much to do other than drive them places.  Yes, we made sacrifices so that I could stay home – losing my salary was a rather large one. And yes it was worth it. But I have to tell you, housecleaning, does not fulfill me. I need goals and things to focus on that are healthy and productive.

With D-man a junior in high school I find myself chomping at the bit for freedom instead of enjoying our last two years together.  I have freedom, and I think that is part of my issue. Gaining 60 pounds since they started high school is no coincidence. I eat – in part – because I’m bored.

Boredom is one of the things that really gets me into trouble when it comes to eating, that and lack of planning. I live with all men and it’s easy to just pick up grab and go junk food and not have healthy choices in the house. My guys could live on chicken wings and bacon – I think we need a better variety, don’t you? This new menu will definitely challenge my cooking skills. I went with a few new easy cook books. Better Crocker Healthy Heart, Dr Gott’s No Sugar No Flour, and The American Heart Association Cook book.  All three of these list calories per serving and all three are good for cooks like me – short on patience and time.

On the positive front, even with my feeble efforts of just not snacking so much, I’m down eight of the 15 pounds I gained post hysterectomy. Not too shabby for a month’s efforts.  I want to keep that momentum going and starting this week I  am grabbing my books and planning a real menu for the week and post it here.

Menu For Week of October 11, 2010

  • Make ahead Real Oatmeal for breakfast (From Dr Gott)
  • Make ahead Easy Fruit Salad, for lunches or snacking.
  • Mon: Glazed Beef Tenderloin with Herbed New Potatoes
  • Tues: Baked Fish with Italian Rice
  • Wed: Glazed Chicken over Couscous Pilaf – this is my night at the Looney Bin (Comedy Club) so I need something easy that I can make ahead and leave for the guys.
  • Thurs: Morning Star Tex-Mex Salad
  • Friday: Spring Time Pasta and Sausage
  • Sat: Date Night – eating down town with family the going to see Jeff Foxworthy at the BOK Center.
  • Sun: Grilled Garlic Sage Pork Roast

 

I haven’t figured out what kind of snacks I need available in the house yet. We have the standard fruit and cut up veggies, but I’d like to add variety. I am eliminating chips, ice cream and sugar laden cookies and cakes. I can hoover a pan of brownies in a day, and so can my 17 year old I’ve discovered. I’ll play with some healthy recipes this week and let ya’ll know what we like next week.

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Hey Ma! Can I keep It?

Deana3 Comments
Chicago Botanical Gardens

I’m hiding in my room today. I actually have the flu, but I’m also hiding from my gardens. I had great plans to write about my fall gardens and the beautiful colors that are coming out. It is time to weed back my summer beds so that my fall mums can bloom. Unfortunately, I believe my mums are going to have to bloom without me this year.

You see, my son found a tarantula this week, and I haven’t recovered. He asked if he could keep it. We have in the past been home to an odd assortment of tree frogs, snakes (hidden in his closet because I had said no to those at some point), hamsters, guinea pigs, lizards, dogs, cats and fish but never a spider, so his request was not unusual. That’s why I’m here in my room and not outdoors. Not because I let him keep his furry friend, but rather because I didn’t and it is now roaming free in my gardens. I hate spiders more than I hate snakes. Over the years we’ve had to edit our pet allowance verbiage. “Must have legs” has now been changed to “no more than four legs allowed.”

I have a tarantula living in my garden beds. And I’ve seen the movie Eight Legged Freaks with my boys and I am freaked out. I think I’ll let him keep the garden.

Charlie is away at college and Dillon is a Junior in high school. I know the day will come when I’ll miss our ad-hoc petting zoo.  Well, I’ll miss the boys, that much I do know.

I wrote a song years back describing life with boys — It’s sung to the tune “My Favorite Things.”

There are frogs on the curtains

and snakes in the closet

lizards in cages

and mud on the faucets

smelly old gym socks stuffed in every chair,

is it any wonder I’m losing my hair?

I don’t know what

happened to me

I used to be so calm

now it’s fist fights

and wrestling in my living room

and endless calls…

for Mooom!

 I wouldn’t have it any other way. Just, no spiders please.

 This post written by Deana O’Hara for Redemption’s Heart: Confessions of a Spiritual Bulimic. All rights reserved. September 30, 2010.

Let’s Talk About it: Priorities

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perfectionist 2
Image by Katiya (Singhing again) via Flickr

 

 I don’t know about you, but I tend to spend a good portion of my day focusing on what I do well and neglecting what I think I don’t do well. I love to study, teach Bible Studies, write, work with artists, and promote events for charity. All of those are great things it’s just that, I hate housework. I don’t mean dislike, I mean really really HATE it. My excuse is, I’m just not good at it, which is code for I can’t do it to my standards and therefore I tend to avoid it.   

 Then I let things build up to such a point that I nearly kill myself putting it back in order again.  When I really think about it, that’s how I approach my health, my weight, my spiritual life, my work. I let things slide if I don’t think I can do them well enough and then kill myself putting my house back in order again.        

Yep, I’m a perfectionist.         

I did argue that with someone once. I told her that a perfectionist is someone who does things perfectly all the time, I don’t even come close to well enough in my opinion, much less perfect so there is no way ……         

 I’ve learned something though. Eating disorders and perfection are very closely tied. Both are about control. If my world feels out of control than I find something external to focus on like my body or a project or a person or whatever. And I’ll use that to numb the fear. I’m afraid of what I can’t control. If I can’t control it, I might be disappointed, and I don’t like pain.         

Control is why I         

  • Work out for hours a day when practicing Tai Chi or train for other events. I don’t want to practice an art, I want to WIN. It’s never about playing the game, it’s really about winning.
  • If I think I can’t win, I quit.
  • Starve myself when I want to achieve a certain weight goal.
  • Avoid uncomfortable conversations when I’m feeling hurt or rejected.
  • Stuff my “out of control” feelings with food, or work, or religion.
  • Hyper focus on what I’m good at and ignore everything else, thinking I can control my world.

I need balance and better priorities.         

I did discover FLYLADY a few years back and her programs and schedules do help me stay prioritized. It’s just a tool though, and it only works, when I work it. Through Marla’s web site and encouragement, I am learning how to be less of a perfectionist and more of a person.       

Another thing I do is remember what King David writes in the psalms, Psalm 121:1-2 I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; from where shall my help come? My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth.     

God helps me with my perfection, my fears, my eating and hyper focusing and everything else. I can’t get there by myself. The more I reach out through prayer and through listening the better able I am to make better choices and find peace.    

What about you?         

Are you a perfectionist?         

How do you prioritize your day?         

This post written by Deana O’Hara, for Confessions of a Spiritual Bulimic. All rights reserved. September 10, 2010.

National Youth Gathering 2010: New Orleans LA

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It started with fundraisers.. and more fundraisers.. those ended with a celebratory night at the movies seeing Toy Story 3 after our last talent show. Having raised all of the monies necessary to go to National Youth Gathering being held in New Orleans, all our kids could do was wait.

July 16th could not come quickly enough and so the kids met up at church on the 15th for a lock in.

5:00 am comes awefully early but they were on the road.

13 hours later they had arrived along with pretty much everyone else.

25,000 youth and adults together in the New Orleans Super Dome

It was an amazing week of mass events, community service, Bible Studies, Speakers, Skits, Concerts, and sight seeing.

The Jesus Painter
Gregory Manning

 Even the Skit Guys came out to play with our youth.

The Skit Guys

 
There is more to be sure, but for now… I’ll leave you with this face.  D-man came back exhausted and too wired to sleep. I can’t describe it other than to say he just “glowed.”

Photo Credits: Sonja Schneider and Melinda Miller.

Post written by Deana O’Hara for Redemption’s Heart, July 30,2010. All rights reserved.

How will you be remembered?

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A great man of God died this year and my last living memory of him is the day he called me a whore. People closest to him tell me that he loved me a great deal, but I wouldn’t know. He had too much pride to apologize, and I had too much pride to let him see me cry. The sin of pride kept us from being reconciled. My heart hurts, not because of the conversations we did have, but because of the ones we didn’t.

My college room-mate died this summer. My last living memory of her was a fight we had 20 years ago this August. I don’t even remember what the fight was about, only that she passed without my ever being able to tell her how sorry I was and how much I loved her. I have to live with that.

I’ve listened to many pastors speak about balancing law and gospel because they don’t want the last living words someone hears about God to be words of condemnation. They want people to also know about his love and his grace. Relationships are no different. We never know what our last words to someone are going to be.

The last words I use when one of my family is walking out the door, or I’m on the phone are always “I love you.” because I just don’t know. Life doesn’t come with a guarantee for another chance.

If you knew that the very words you are speaking this moment were the last words someone ever heard you say, what words would you use?

Random Sillyness

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Two rather cute young gals came up to our seats while we were at a Driller’s Game Monday night. They asked my boys if they would like to participate in a contest during the 6th inning and before asking what kind of contest, my boys said yes.

Turns out, they were blindfolded and had to take turns putting lipstick on each other. They were competing against girls and the winners were determined by who could get the crowd to chear the loudest.

These are MY boys we are talking about. They know how to work a crowd. They won hands down.  And ya know, I am pretty  proud. Is that wrong?