Personal Foul: 15 Yard Penalty Repeat First Down

January 10, 2012January 10, 2012 Deana7 Comments

Him: What is your son studying in college?

Me: Engineering.

Him: Wow that’s a tough program.

Me: Yep. He got his Dad’s intelligence and my love for art.

TWEEEET!!!!!!!

Personal Foul, 15 yard penalty, repeat first down.

I just told that man I thought I was stupid!

UHG…

Have you ever listened, and I mean R-E-A-L-L-Y listened to what you say about yourself to others?

I’m so clumsy.

I’m forgetful.

I’m Whiney.

I’m not smart.

Brilliant me forgot to log miles last month. (Just posted that one yesterday. Ouch)

On and on an on I go.

I wonder what would happen if we could have an NFL referee following us around, listening to us speak and throwing flags every time we put ourselves down. Wouldn’t that be a trip.

Okay, I’m not a referee, although I do have a really cool whistle from my coaching days. And I can’t follow you around. BUT I can re-read my old posts and man I put myself down a lot. So much so that I seriously considered pulling my blog this week. It has been painful reading let me tell you. Self effacing humor is not humility. At least not the way I do it.

So, I’ve decided to keep a log on my iPad. I’m going to pay attention to what I say and every time I complain about myself, put myself down or make a snarky remark I’m going to log it and replace it with a truth statement. I going to breathe some life into these dead bones of my self-esteem. If I am not my own best friend, who will be?

And I’m going to start with what I told that man. – I’m an intelligent artist.

Okay – just for fun or exorcism, either way. Won’t you please comment and tell us one lie you tell about yourself and replace it with a truth statement? Ready? Go.

The Queen of Whine

December 10, 2011 Deana4 Comments

“Acceptance is not submission to a degrading situation; rather is it acknowledging reality and deciding what to do about it.” – One Day at a Time, AFG

I can be whiney.

Insert the hushed whisper by those who know me well here. “Whiney? You? No! Really?”

It’s true. I whine.

I ask why. A lot. Granted I do have the voice of reason (or schizophrenia, whichever) to quickly follow with either a snarky remark or wisdom.

Why did the laundry hose spray all over the laundry room today? At least the room smells Springtime fresh now. Not helping!

Why did the computer break right before Christmas? (Don’t feel too sorry for me, I do still have my laptop.)

Why can’t I be thin? (uhm.. maybe it’s the food you put in your mouth when you stuff your feelings?)

Why can’t people behave the way I want them to? — okay I really do wish they would here, but now do you always behave the way people wish you would? – Oh shut up.

Why didn’t anyone read my life script? – Because everyone has their own script to follow. But they are ad-libbing! I’m an introvert, I need my script. I can’t plan my brilliant responses if they ad lib! – Silence

Why doesn’t he ever pick ME?- Because he isn’t going to. Instead of getting your feelings hurt every year, face reality and move on. Do not try to control the situation by constantly reminding him how much you really want to do this — obviously he does not believe you are the right person for the job. It’s not personal, and even it if is, you can’t do anything about that.

Whaa whaa whaaa

Reality of life is simply this — like it or not we have absolutely no power of people, places, or things. The only power we have in choosing how to respond.

Rather than focus on what I cannot control today, equipment failures, dishonest and manipulative people, and rejection (I really hate that one), I can focus getting exercise and eating well, and celebrating the fact that our riding club (Stay in the Saddle) is going to be in the Christmas Parade.

I’m not being Pollyanna. I’m just choosing happiness.

What about you? Are you going to spend this day focusing on the things you cannot control? Or are you going to spend it focusing on the things you can control – yourself.

I hope you go out there and have a wonderful and happy day. And don’t forget to laugh.

Hugs!

Deana

I’m Not Hard-Core; I just want to Live.

December 6, 2011December 7, 2011 DeanaLeave a comment

Three frogs are sitting on a log when one decides to jump off.

How many are left?

Three.

One only DECIDED to jump.

Deciding to do something and actually following through are not the same thing.

I decided to get in better shape in 2009 because of this story – Beaten By A Stroke: A True Story and even bought myself an automatic shift five speed.

While the bike was pretty, it is also difficult to ride. I peddle like crazy to get it to shift and as soon as I coast down a hill it shifts back to first gear and I have to start all over again. I rode my new bike a sum total of six times before hanging it up in the garage. As a result, I’ve lost and gained the same 20 pounds because I didn’t follow-up my deciding to do better with real action.

Now that’s not to say I didn’t try to do better.

I tried C-Fit.

I tried Zumba.

I tried walking.

I tried the couch to 5K thing.

I even tried riding my bike with a group.

I wasn’t the best and I quit.

I was inspired but nothing more.

I got sick in 2010 and wound up in the hospital and even had surgery. Again, I’m inspired to do better in this area of my life, but I don’t follow through. I even read Fully Alive in 2010 – by the same author who now is not only riding his bike, he’s racing it. The dude is 62 at this point.

Another friend, whom I also met in 2009 has completed the Iron Man competition, not once, but twice since then.

I’m no longer inspired, I’m embarrassed.

I’m 46.

I have learned something very valuable.

Inspiration without perspiration is fantasy.

It isn’t enough to keep my sense of wonder, to be inspired, or stirred and do nothing with it. True inspiration births action.

To be fair, I’ve taken a great deal of action in other areas of my life. I’m out there performing comedy when I can, acting in movies, volunteering, and even taking writing classes. I’m feeding my brain and my heart but not my body. I’ve over come many fears and it wasn’t until today when I was riding Prince that I realized I have some physical fears to face.

I’m afraid of falling.

I’m afraid of getting hurt, which is ridiculous when I consider that I used to compete in Tai Chi and Shaolin. I got hurt all the time. While it’s true I do have a slight disability with my ankle being permanently messed up now, however, that shouldn’t be stopping me.

I’ve been riding horses since February. I’m now at the point where we can gallop for longer durations and are working barrels. Today, the speed scared me. My eyes were on the ground more than they were on the obstacle ahead. Because of that we couldn’t get good speed.

It’s the same with my bike.

I purchased a Giant Brand bicycle from a locally owned shop in Tulsa and it is much faster than my older one.

The speed scares me.

I’ve fallen off more than once and I stopped riding it for two weeks.

It wasn’t until I was racing Prince today, that I realized what was wrong.

I’m looking at the wrong thing.

I’m allowing my fear of pain, not the actual pain, just the fear of it, to keep me from fully committing.

I fixed that today and rode again. It was 33 degrees and sunny.

The wind hurt my cheeks. I froze my tukus off, and my legs hurt.

But I did it.

And I didn’t fall.

I shared on Twitter that I’m riding today and someone asked if I was hardcore or had a conspirator.

I gave him a smart-alack answer at first. “I spent $1,000 on a new bike and my husband made me promise to ride it every day.” — Later I told him the truth, someone inspired me and if he can do it, so can I.

Here’s the deal. I don’t want to be sitting here another year from now, weighing the same as I do today, reading how someone else I know won a triathlon or a marathon while I allow fear to keep me trapped.

So here is my challenge to you:

I promise to face this fear every day, fulling committing to following through on Ken’s inspiration in my life. What action are you willing to take today that follows through on a decision you made? I’m not asking you to change your life, I’m asking you to name one action or one fear – and face it with me today. Will you do that? When you do, I want you to pay this forward and be that inspiration for someone else.

Ready. On your mark. Set. Go!