Tag: God

REPOST: The Great Rabbit Rescue

DeanaLeave a comment

It sounded like a gun shot. And then another, and another. I thought war had broken out in Tulsa. Looking out our bedroom window we can see stripped and broken trees covering our yard. My beautiful trees are no more. All of our trees, save one, fell victim to the ice storm of 2007.

Amid the sounds of branches falling during the night, it also grew obvious to my husband and to me that our youngest son was not going to let us sleep until we rescued his rabbit. Oreo, lived in a hutch underneath what was our tall and beautiful Bradford pear in the back yard.

Grabbing the foot of our bed, our son became bound and determined to rouse us into greater empathy than parents usually possess at 3 am. Empathy not forthcoming, he chose to shake our bed violently and scream until we had no choice but to either put him down, or rescue the rabbit.

After some debate, we rescued the rabbit.

Wearing snow boots and bathrobes, the three of us ventured out into the icy night. I carried a candle for light, while Jeff and I carefully traversed the buried yard. Stepping over branches and around others we made our way to what used to be Oreo’s dwelling. Our tree, Oreo’s shelter, was stripped back like a banana peel. Carefully moving the bent and hanging branches, we found that not one fallen branch had touched her hutch. All of the branches had created a protective cave around her home. Oreo was unharmed. It was an amazing sight.

The consummate story collector, I wanted to go back for my camera but thought better of it. Instead, Jeff reached in to free a very grateful bunny and we made our way back to the house. The joy in our son’s eyes as he held his beloved pet made the whole adventure worth it.

It’s cold in Tulsa right now. Temperatures are below zero at night, and we’ve once again rescued our rabbit and brought her indoors for safety.

Another snow storm hit Tulsa this year and all Christmas services had been cancelled throughout the city. It just didn’t feel like Christmas without church and I missed it. Grace Lutheran was holding their Christmas Eve service on Epiphany. Grace is not our home church, but I wanted to go. I wanted to celebrate Christmas even if it was a few days late.

During the service they did what they call the “Procession of the Gospel.” I don’t recall ever seeing that before. It is very high church, and not necessarily something more “modern” churches like mine do anymore. Acolytes carried the cross and candles, while the pastor came down the center aisle with the bible. This processional stopped right next to our pew. It was there that the gospel was read.

Like a child, I relentlessly tugged on my husband’s sleeve asking what they were doing and why. High Liturgy is not something I’m familiar with. It was moving, and beautiful. The tears in his eyes caught me by surprise. “Immanuel. God with us.” is all he said.

By coming down into the crowd, so to speak, to read the Gospel, we are reminded that God himself traveled dangerous terrain to rescue us. We are reminded that He is not some distant and untouchable figure way out there. He doesn’t need a child to shake his bed to come get us. He just did. It was dangerous and it was scandalous. And it was necessary.

He is with us.

In the center of it all.

Yesterday.

Today.

And tomorrow.

Again and again,

calling us,

 protecting us,

saving us.

He is Immanuel.

Am I Jaded or Compassionate? I’m Not Always Sure

Deana3 Comments

I’m sorry, but the post you are looking for is no longer here.  Please note that I write most of my posts 1 – 2 weeks in advance and schedule them for future publication. While this particular post dealt with my own eating issues and abuse of over the counter diet pills, as well as revelations I’ve received from my present Bible Study, I’m afraid that it published on the cusp of another very important announcement. The two have nothing to do with eachother, but out of respect for a friend and a family grieving, I’m taking my post down.

Please pray for those you mentor as well as those who mentor others. I’ve heard it said that the minute we step into public ministry, Satan points a loaded gun at the backs of our heads. That is so true. May God fill you to overflowing with his Grace, his Mercy and His Peace.

Thank you for reading my blog.

Blessings

Deana

Oktoberfest and other pet peeves

Deana4 Comments

I am blessed in knowing that sobriety has been part of my life much longer than active alcoholism and yet, my buttons still get pushed. While I myself do like to drink from time to time, nothing can incite anger and anxiety more quickly than being around a bunch of heavy drinking.  Keeping my button covered isn’t always easy. My fuse is too short for my own comfort.

I still have my childhood memories of abuse, fights, rape (not me but someone else), hunger, loneliness, shame — and I have my memories of AA and Al-Anon — rooms full of broken people just like us, trying to get well. Even so. Even after 30 plus years of recovery, I do at times struggle with the emotional scars left behind.

Setting boundaries doesn’t always work. Or rather they do work, they just aren’t always well received. I choose not to participate in events where I know people are going to be drunk. For me that’s a way of protecting myself. I’m not being judgemental when I say no. Boundaries are about taking care of me, and not about you. And so I say no to things like working the beer tent at Tulsa Oktoberfest, staying late at weddings, attending Bible Studies that over flow with wine, things like that.

I don’t believe alcohol should be served in church and yet many churches host their own version of Oktoberfest and pastors brew the beer for it. Are they sinning? No. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like for once to go to a church event that does not revolve around alcohol, and wanting that doesn’t make me a prude. It just makes me, well, me. Now I will add that my own church does not participate in this. Yes, we have our annual German dinner, and No we do not serve alcohol.

One of our sweet elders escaped me unharmed this week — I owe that to God’s arm, not my own.  He was promoting the annual men’s retreat and his “sales pitch” revolved around how much beer and wine there was going to be. I sadly commented that I thought the weekend was supposed to be about God. I do not fault this man entirely — he missed my warning my shot as I walked away. Why he chose to follow me into the sanctuary, I’ll never know. But follow me he did. He also tried to grab my arm. Stepping into my body space he committed suicide. I received his actions as physical aggression, and when he quoted scripture to me by saying even Paul told Timothy that “a little wine is good for the stomach.” I received his words as spiritual aggression as well. In that instant, he missed my heart and destroyed all respect for him. Our relationship will never be the same.

Another excuse I frequently hear is “Well Jesus turned water into wine.” Yes, Jesus turned water into wine, but that doesn’t mean that Jesus partied. To say that he did is to blaspheme his character.

I do agree that a little wine in private and among friends is good for you. I serve beer and wine in my home when I’m among friends, that doesn’t bother me. Yet, while having it at a church sponsored function, makes people happy, it causes me a great deal of pain.

I was reminded of a wonderful quote this week by a speaker I once heard. “There are no limitations to your being yourself except the life of the person near you. You can’t express your freedom if doing so causes others pain. Where my freedom begins, yours ends. And the reverse is true.” — John DeFoore, Abilene TX.

I can’t change people – or the churches that choose to serve alcohol at events — but I can be honest in my feelings — And in doing so, maybe I can give others something to think about. If you’re interested — let’s talk about it. Have you been effected by alcoholism? Does your church serve alcohol. How does that make you feel?

In The Hands of God

Deana9 Comments
Martin Luther by Lucas Cranach. The Protestant...
Image via Wikipedia

 

I’ve had quite the week.  

DOWN: How do I describe promoting a concert for three months only to find out the Non Profit putting on the fundraiser never had a signed contract?  

UP: I was upset over this deal gone bad when a  friend calls me back – from the airport mind you – while he’s traveling, to talk me through the whole contracts and clauses issues. While it doesn’t fix the problem I experienced, they still make me feel better because I know I am not alone, nor am I the first person on the planet to ever get into a pickle. Talking to my friend, left me feeling blessed and dearly loved.  

BIG DOWN: Then I find out there is a slight possibility that someone may try to have me excommunicated if I participate in an event that I have been participating in on and off since 2000. Why? Because our synod doesn’t agree with their synod therefore – no playing together in the sandbox. You can call it politics if you want, but I call it being a self-righteous uhm.. donkey.  

I wasn’t in a good mood the day I was told I might be kicked out,  and I made our music director cross himself when I stated — What can man do to me? My salvation is secure so, tell them to Bring it!  

Can I let you in on a little secret here – being kicked out of the church has always been my biggest fear – until this week. I’m not afraid anymore. For the first time in my entire life, that fear has no power over me.  

It’s been a roller coaster week full of joy and deep hurt for this body of Christ. I’ve been praying, reading, talking, and trying to listen to God. I was also complaining a bit about how silent I thought he was being here. I mean did he want me to sing or not? Can I live with the consequences of my choices or not? Will he be there for me or not?  

Some days I look back over my life, remembering all the times the church said no, and I was on the outside looking in. Time and time again I see how “the church” or whomever I was associating with the church seems to fail me. I’m selective in my reverie at those times and tend to leave out all of the good that comes with the church as well.  

 Monday was one of those selective memory days. It was also a peanut butter and hot-fudge sundae for dinner kind of day.  At least it was before God reached into my broken and hurting heart in a way only He can. I was sitting in my truck, waiting for my son to come back with our sundaes, and talking to God about all of the mess of it. I was wondering if they really will kick me out and how will that impact my family, and it’s just a rumor God, but could they really do it? Why do all these things happen? Will I ever find peace in the church? How do I get through this?  

 Out of the blue I’m hit with this realization:  

Satan was afraid of me.  

In that same moment that my heart remembers a song I haven’t heard in ages: In Christ Alone.  

Those two truths hit me with such emotional force that all I could do was cry.  

God not only heard me, but he speaks to me as well.  

Just when I thought I was ready to bag the whole Lutheran thing, God brings me to a web page I didn’t now know existed in Synod called Jesus First Leadership. JFL appears to support the same causes and mind-set towards missions that my husband and I hold dear. I don’t know enough about them yet to really know anything, but for today it was enough.  

And just in case those things weren’t enough, God also brought me to this quote today in my readings:  

Once when Martin Luther was at the height of his struggles with the Roman Church, someone asked him what he would do if the princes and their supporters deserted him. “Where will you be then, Martin?” he was asked. The bold reformer replied, “I will be where I have always been, in the hands of God.”  

My hope isn’t found in things, concerts, non profits, or man. My hope is found in Christ alone. The God who not only hears my heart, sees my pain, but responds to me with Grace, love and an affirming touch.  

Have you ever felt like Satan was out to get you?   

Did you ever stop to wonder why?   

Where do you place your life, your needs, your hurts and your hopes?   

Do you place them in food (like I can), alcohol, work, relationships, yourself?   

Or do you place them in Christ Alone, the author and protector of our faith.  

What if the pastor doesn’t like me? Can I still join?

Deana5 Comments

“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.” Mark 10:14

 

I am a member today of a Lutheran Church in Oklahoma, very much a Christian and very much forgiven and beloved of God, but you know I didn’t always belong to a church.

Confession: I used to believe if the pastor didn’t like me, he (or she) wouldn’t let me belong to their church.

For you life long, church going, Christians out there, that probably comes as a shock. Shock or not, I really did believe that and acted accordingly. This false belief creates a serious dilemma. I want to be part of a faith community and this one man (or woman depending) stands (I believe) as a spokesperson for God; I’m going to have to perform and dance and lie through my teeth if I want to stay here. Not much different really than what I believed about God back then but I am ahead of myself.

My desire to belong mixed with the possibility of rejection, created a fear within me that was so strong that the presence of a pastor made my body shake.  And if they were wearing a death suit? (Black shirt and collar) I would hyperventilate. Nice hunh? yeah, I was a mess and a half. They call that idolatry – placing things or people in higher regard than God, but I didn’t know that. I just thought those were the rules. You are either in or you are out.

I used to try and hide my shaking by placing my right hand on the wall and my left hand on my hip. But then my knees would start to give and ….

To put it another way, my attempts to keep from falling off the planet, made me look like Mae West.

My physical shaking did not stop until about six years ago when I buried ten friends in twelve months. I was so devastated by my personal losses that I no longer cared if any of them liked me or not. They could all hang from a tree as far as I was concerned and like me or hate me I was here for the duration. I sat in church and cried for weeks on end, hanging on – not to their words, but to God himself.

Some faith communities require believing before belonging. Others allow a person to belong long before they really believe. Thankfully for me, by God’s Grace, we found such a community in Oklahoma.

Trinity Lutheran Church in Busted Stick Oklahoma is the very first church I ever belonged to in my entire life. Our family joined Trinity in 1993.  It was a strange set of circumstances that brought us there really. 1. My husband was raised Lutheran, therefore… 2. It was within walking distance from our house. 3. I was a young stay at home mom in a new town, thousands of miles from my old friends. I needed other women to be around and they had young mom’s there.

Not one of those logical to me reasons included my believing what they believed. I just needed to belong somewhere. I was lonely. I’m also ahead of my story here.

When I was a young girl, I tried to join churches. I would visit my grandmother in Buffalo NY and take the bus to this beautiful cathedral and just sit in awe. Back home in Michigan, I would attend festivals and youth group things at local churches and would secretly wish for more. Even though I didn’t belong to a faith community, and I didn’t know all of the fancy prayers those churches had, I knew God and I believed I knew him well and knew that he knew me.  We were best buds growing up. He was the one adult I could always talk to — and he’d listen. I liked that about him.

One day (1978) I went with my neighbors to hear Lisa Welchel (Blair from Fact’s of Life) speak at their church. There was something different about Lisa and while I didn’t understand it I knew it had something to do with Jesus and I wanted what she had. I went home that night and sat in my bed talking to God like I normally did. I told him about everything she said and how I wanted him to please – if it wasn’t too much to ask – do for me what he did for her.

(Edited to add: I had the awesome joy of meeting Lisa Welchel in 2008 when she spoke at E-Women in Tulsa. Lisa knows this story, is touched by it and allows me to share it. — I’m not name dropping here — Lisa was a teen just like me, I could relate to her and that is important)

That very week I walked to every church my little feet would carry me to and boldly sought out the pastors. Each time I’d tell them I want to learn about Jesus and could I join their church.  Every pastor said no.

The Lutheran Pastor said no.

The Catholic Priest said no.

The Baptist Pastor even said no.

My mom, who was seeking her own place to belong brought me with her to a community not far from town, asking if we could belong, and you know what? The Maharishi, said yes.

to be continued….

The Great Rabbit Rescue

Deana1 Comment

It sounded like a gun shot. And then another, and another. I thought war had broken out in Tulsa. Looking out our bedroom window we can see stripped and broken trees covering our yard. My beautiful trees are no more. All of our trees, save one, fell victim to the ice storm of 2007.

Amid the sounds of branches falling during the night, it also grew obvious to my husband and to me that our youngest son was not going to let us sleep until we rescued his rabbit. Oreo, lived in a hutch underneath what was our tall and beautiful bradford pear in the back yard.

Grabbing the foot of our bed, our son became bound and determined to rouse us into greater empathy than parents usually possess at 3 am. Empathy not forthcoming, he chose to shake our bed violently and scream until we had no choice but to either put him down, or rescue the rabbit.

We rescued the rabbit.

Wearing snow boots and bathrobes, the three of us ventured out into the icy night. I carried a candle for light, while Jeff and I carefully traversed the buried yard. Stepping over branches and around others we made our way to what used to be Oreo’s dwelling. Our tree, Oreo’s shelter, was stripped back like a banana peel. Carefully moving the bent and hanging branches, we found that not one fallen branch had touched her hutch. All of the branches had created a protective cave around her home. Oreo was unharmed. It was an amazing sight.

The consummate story collector, I wanted to go back for my camera but thought better of it. Instead, Jeff reached in to free a very grateful bunny and we made our way back to the house. The joy in our son’s eyes as he held his beloved pet made the whole adventure worth it.

It’s cold in Tulsa right now. Temperatures are below zero at night, and we’ve once again rescued our rabbit and brought her indoors for safety.

Another snow storm hit Tulsa this year and all Christmas services had been cancelled through out the city. It just didn’t feel like Christmas without church and I missed it. Grace Lutheran was holding their Christmas Eve service on Epiphany. Grace is not our home church, but I wanted to go. I wanted to celebrate Christmas even if it was a few days late.

During the service they did what they call the “Procession of the Gospel.” I don’t recall ever seeing that before. It is very high church, and not necessarily something more “modern” churches like mine do anymore. Acolytes carried the cross and candles, while the pastor came down the center aisle with the bible. This processional stopped right next to our pew. It was there that the gospel was read.

Like a child, I relentlessly tugged on my husband’s sleeve asking what they were doing and why. High Liturgy is not something I’m familiar with. It was moving, and beautiful. The tears in his eyes caught me by surprise. “Immanuel. God with us.” is all he said.

By coming down into the crowd, so to speak, to read the Gospel, we are reminded that God himself traveled dangerous terrain to rescue us. We are reminded that He is not some distant and untouchable figure way out there. He doesn’t need a child to shake his bed to come get us. He just did. It was dangerous and it was scandalous. And it was necessary.

He is with us.

In the center of it all.

Yesterday.

Today.

And tomorrow.

Again and again,

calling us,

 protecting us,

saving us.

He is Immanuel.

Finding My Story for 2010

Deana6 Comments

I was going to post a blog today about my new resolutions, until I read Donald Miller’s Post on Living a Good Story. (You have got to read it, seriously. Awesome piece) No one is asking me to endorse it, I just happened to catch the link on Twitter today and thought WOW, this is so it! And that post is why I am changing how I look at both 2009 and 2010.

“When you do tell your story, don’t sound like the victim. If you do, you’ll sound like you’re whining. Just be truthful in telling your story and aim to discover that slice of humanity that others can relate to.”  David Pierce, to me last summer, author of “Don’t Let Me Go.”

Stories can capture the soul or bore you stupid, kind of like my blog some days.   I’m going through midlife puberty and my voice is changing. Some days I nail it, mostly I squeak. My “mom” days are coming to a close. It’s a scary season for me. I’m still needed, but not in the same way.

I do find it interesting , that my top two blog entries in 2009 were on Letting Go and Understanding our Identity in Christ, By: Cj Rapp. Both received hundreds of hits a piece and they were the most commonly searched topics.

I did not begin 2009 with a story in mind and yet looking back, those two pieces nail it. Letting Go of what holds me back and finding my identity in Christ is the story of 2009 at least for me.  Christ loves me, not because of what I do or don’t do, but because I breath in and out.  I can’t do a single thing to make Him love me less, or love me more than he does right now. WOW. 

That was God’s gift to me last year.  That knowing that I wanted so desperately in January. Remember my verse for the year? – Ephesians 3:17-19. “I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”

I “get” it today.

 My goals for 2009 were pretty vague – memorize 24 scripture verses, survive graduation and my son leaving for college, lose 60 lbs (didn’t happen) — I was also going to quit smoking, but I copped a resentment last summer and well, that didn’t happen either. — And yes, I am self destructive when I’m feeling resentful. Even so, stopping smoking is a requirement for the story I want to live in 2010.

 

I’m back at square one today. I’m throwing away my resoltions and I’m looking for the story of 2010. What story do I want to live? I’m not sure yet. That will take some thought.

I’m going to take the advice from a teacher again- my story for 2010won’t involve being a victim, no whining might take some work, and it will be truthful. Truthful to God, to my family, and to myself.

How about you? What story do you want to live in 2010? I’d love to hear from you.

EDITED TO ADD:  _– a neurotic note to say  How quickly I forget,  — Donald Miller wrote Blue Like Jazz, one of my favorite books of all time – no wonder his piece on stories not resolutions spoke to me so well. 

Read this guy.. I’m glad I found him again.. I feel a bookstore afternoon coming up.

Because of Who He is, I can be.

Deana2 Comments

Isaiah 50:7

“Because the sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be disgraced.”

My greatest fear, isn’t being disliked. My greatest fear is being publically humiliated. Hate me all you want, just don’t embarass me. I’m pretty sure that this is a true statement for all of us in some fashion or another. I love attention, just not that kind.

My husband sent me this bible verse Thursday night after I’d told him how unsure I was that I’d made the right decision in traveling for this workshop. I was feeling very guilty for leaving home after he’d been gone so long. What if my kids needed me, what if something happened. Or worse, what if I was gone and they figured out that they could get along just fine without me. I was also feeling very selfish for pursing a “my dream” kind of deal.

Leaving Corporate America ten years ago was both the best and worst things I could have done. It was the best in that I have a family that I am proud of of having a part in raising. It was the worst because with that career went my definition of who I was. Returning to the workforce at 43, scares me. I’m behind, I’m out of touch with the industries and technologies today. My learning curve has increased expotentially. Some days I wonder if I will ever catch back up.

I’m not alone. I’m not white-knuckeling my way through this mine field of change. I’m in Christ and because of Him, and who he is, I will not be humiliated. He guides my path, my only role is to trust him and practice using the gifts he has placed in front of me.

Looking not so far into the future that I become intimidated and overwhelmed, I simply look for the next right action, remember to breath and walk the steps He has numbered for me today.

Don’t throw away your confidence

DeanaLeave a comment

“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded, you need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised.”

Hebrews 10:35-36

I made a commitment to God and to several of my new blogging friends to memorize one new scripture verse on the 1st and 15th of each month. We all began with a bang and most of us are still here. A lot of us chose paragraphs in our enthusiam and Beth and Amanda at Living Proof Ministries Blog lovingly suggested this might be too ambitious and to please start smaller. They were right. I was struggling with mine. I spent February committing my first verse (small paragraph) to memory and meditating on that. The fact that it is our new benediction for 2009, made it all the more fun.

God had actually impressed my first verse on my heart last Spring when I bought Seven Celebrations for the Soul by Kathy Troccoli. I picked that Bible study for our new women’s Sunday School class long before I knew what Pastor’s verse for the year was going to be.

This is my new memory verse for the next two weeks. I’ve been praying since last fall for a focus. Something that God wanted me to learn, grasp, inwardly digest and the word “confidence” keeps coming back, again and again.

So be it. The truth is, I am extremely insecure. I’m not nearly as confident in anything as people seem to think. What amazes me about that is neither are my heros in the faith. I was blown away when I discovered that. I love this new verse. I know I’ve read Hebrews time and time again and yet, I missed it somehow.

Don’t throw away your confidence.
Persevere in carrying out the will of God.

God knew that the time for me to hear those words, was now.

What is Your Mission Statement?

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I’m busy today, looking for lost car keys, picking up my kitchen and finishing forms that I procrastinated on. It’s Anti-Procrastination Day – a day late. Leave it to me to be behind on a scheduled day.

I’m a little off this week, what with my hardrive crashing on my lap top and trying to get that fixed and here we are on Thursday and I’m having to remind myself that “I’m not behind, just jump in where ever I am.”

I am too behind, I’m just trying not to get anxiety over it.

While answering the last few questions on my form that has to be mailed no later than tomorrow – I’m stuck on the “What is your mission statement” question. I really don’t have one, and I know they are popular and all, but I’ve never really thought about that one long enough to actually write one out.

If I could have one – I know it would be similar to these paragraphs by Henri Nouwen, from The Wounded Healer. (pp 38-39)

“The key word here is articulation. The man who can articulate the movements of his inner life, who can give names to his varied experiences, need no longer be a victim of himself, but is able slowly and consistently to remove the obstacles that prevent the spirit from entering. He is able to create space for Him whose heart is greater than his, whose eyes see more than his, and whose hands can heal more than his.

This articulation, I believe, is the basis for a spiritual leadership of the future, because only he who is able to articulate his own experience can offer himself to others as a source of clarification. The Christian leader is, therefore, first of all, a man who is willing to put his own articulated faith at the disposal of those who ask his help. In this sense he is a servant of servants, because he is the first to enter the promised but dangerous land, the first to tell those who are afraid what he has seen, heard and touched.

….the minister tries to help people to recognize the work of God in themselves. The Christian leader, minister or priest, is not one who reveals God to his people-who gives something he has to those who have nothing-but one who helps those who are searching to discover reality as the source of their existence. In this sense we can say that the Christian leader leads man to confession, in the classic sense of the word: to the basic affirmation that man is man and God is God, and that without Go, man cannot be called man…it is a deep human encounter in which a man is willing to put his own faith and doubt, his own hope and despair, his oven light and darkness at the disposal of others who want to find a way through their confusion, and touch the solid core of life. In this context preaching means more than handing over a tradition; it is rather the careful and sensitive articulation of what is happening in the community so that those who listen can say: “You say what I suspected, you express what I vaguely felt, you bring to the fore what I fearfully kept in the back of my mind. yes, yes-you say who we are, you recognize our condition…”

Emphasis mine.

I am not in the place of the Holy Spirit, I cannot reveal God to you or anyone else. I can only travel as a fellow sojourner, it isn’t even my place to hand over tradition as if in following that, we find God. All I can be is one who helps those who are searching, find their source. I like this thought right here, the minister tries to help people to recognize the work of God in themselves. The Christian leader, minister or priest, is not one who reveals God to his people-who gives something he has to those who have nothing-but one who helps those who are searching to discover reality as the source of their existence.

Somewhere in there is the answer to the question on the page, and maybe a clarifying thought for myself.

To quote John the Baptist, “I am not the Christ.” – But I can help you see him, by finding Him in me.