Month: November 2010

Self Will Run Riot. No more Monday Menus

Deana3 Comments

Scripture calls it being handed over to your desires.

My 12 Step books call it an “Obsession of the mind” or “Self will run riot.”

Either way you put it, it means the same thing. God sits back and lets me work out my control issues until I’m dead tired, defeated, and humbled and remember that he is there to help. This isn’t a new thing, it’s really how I tend to run my life. I believe it was Ben Franklin who said, “God helps those who help themselves.”

The problem with that phrase is, it isn’t true. It’s not even scriptural.

God is a gentleman, yes he’s willing to help but do y’all remember the verse, “you have not because you ask not.” – yep, that’s me. I don’t ask for help. I’m more of the hey God look at me! See, I can do this all by myself. But the truth is, I can’t nor was I created to.

I thought the Monday menu was a good idea. And from a family planning perspective it probably was. Except that I spent hours pouring over cook books and web pages looking for ideas to piece together the perfect family menu that they would love and I could eat and still lose weight.  I was obsessed.

My doctor gave me simple instructions when he released me from his care, don’t gain weight. He also very kindly pointed out I was not in good health and he’d really like to see a different me by next June.

I have, over the years, tried preordered plans like Jenny Craig and Nutrisystem. I’ve even done Weight Watchers, LA Weight loss, Atkins, and South Beach Diet. I’ve swallowed a variety of pills from appetite control to fat blockers to cleansers all to no avail.  I’ve counted carbs, points, and fat grams until I couldn’t count anymore. I’ve also spent a few thousand dollars on equipment and videos over the years only to give up after a while.

In AA, when an alcoholic doesn’t want to admit they are an alcoholic they try what is called “Controlled drinking.” That basically means they white knuckle their way through just having one or only two drinks, or they abstain for a period of time to prove they can. Foodies like me do controlled eating. Alcoholics keep a private stash of booze, I keep a private stash of candy bars or chips or cookies or cakes.

It’s really no different. Except that for an alcoholic to fully recover they need to quit drinking completely. I cannot quit eating or I’ll starve to death.

I’m not going to bore y’all with this. Let’s just say it’s been a journey. This week in my new bible study, (http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/)  I learned about permission based eating. Basically that means I wait until my stomach growls before I eat. Sometimes I like that – most days I don’t. See, my stomach doesn’t growl when I think it should. But we’re getting there. I also became aware how often my brain tells me I should be hungry and when I stop and really listen to my stomach, I know I’m not and I pass on the food.

Another neat trick I learned — use the pause on my videos. Right now, I can’t keep up with them. I dropped a class at church because I couldn’t keep up. Even though it’s a wonderful class and the gal said go at your own pace, my pride over rode my desire to get in shape. Same with a bike trip. Several gals get together every week and ride 12 miles. I can’t keep up and I don’t want to make them wait for me, so I told them, let me get in better shape and I’ll join you then. I do the same with videos at home. I just turn them off. Then my mentor suggested something she did – hit the pause button, catch your breath and turn it back on. It doesn’t matter if it takes you two hours to do a one hour video, just make the goal to complete it.

I hadn’t thought of that.

 So that is where I’m at this week.

  1.  No more diet plans (which should make grocery shopping enjoyable again) 
  2. Permission based eating 
  3. Use my pause button and keep going. 
  4.  And last but certainly not least, it’s my spirit that is hungry, not my body, so Bible Study is essential for me.  Without God, this won’t have any kind of lasting results.

So that is it in a nutshell.  Confessions was not intended to be a foodie blog anyway. Confessions is just a place to practice my writing, and share stories. And besides I have much cooler things to share with you guys than my food issues, like The Messiah, Adventures in comedy, missions and family as well as saving up for my very first girlfriends only vacation that I’m taking next year. So, thank you for letting me have my rabbit trail, and now let’s get back on track, shall we?

 This post written by Deana O’Hara for Redemption’s Heart: Confessions of a Spiritual Bulimic. All rights reserved. November 15, 2010

STICKY: Welcome to Confessions

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My stats are showing more and more that people are finding my page by searching for bulimia. While I’m thankful you are here, I’m not a professional health care worker or dietician.  I receive a dozen or more hits every day now wanting to know about bulimia prayers, hope, healing, and recovery and I think that is wonderful and sad all at once. Wonderful because people are looking for hope, and sad because that many hits means people are hurting and NEED hope.  When it comes to eating disorders,  I don’t have the answers.  I’m just now coming to terms with the damages I caused my body when I was younger. While I no longer physically purge food,  I do still at times over eat, over exercise,  and starve myself for the wrong reasons. — if any of this is an issue for you, please please PLEASE check out the page my friend gave me.  Setting Captives Free.  I’ve committed to it myself. It’s a wonderful sight. Thanks. –
If you came to my site because of other searches, WELCOME. Please feel free to look around. I’m really glad you are here. Blessings, Deana

Why do you Want to Lose Weight?

Deana4 Comments

Note: My stats are showing more and more people searching for bulimia — I don’t have the answers. That’s why I’m posting this tonight. I am receive a dozen or more hits every day now wanting to know about bulimic prayers, hope, healing, etc.  I’m just now coming face to face with the damages I caused my body when I was younger. While I no longer physically purge food — I was released from that captivity several years ago –  I do still at times over eat, over exercise,  and starve for the wrong reasons. — if any of this is an issue for you, please please PLEASE check out the page my friend gave me.  Setting Captives Free.  I’ve committed to it myself, starting today. It’s a wonderful sight. Thanks.

The first question I see in every weightloss program I’ve ever tried is “Why do you want to lose weight?”

That’s a loaded question, don’t you think? Why do any of us want to lose weight?

To:

  • Fit in that new dress / bathing suit.
  • Look good for vacation / wedding / class reunion.
  • Find a Mate. (Already have one)
  • Build my self-esteem
  • Be healthy and live longer.
  • Get my blood pressure and sugar back down to reasonable levels.
  • Be more successful as a worker / performer / speaker
  • Finally wear skinny jeans again.
  • Receive positive attention from others.

Lots of choices to that question, but something tells me (other than looking ahead) all of my answers are incorrect.

I ran into an old friend this weekend. Someone I hadn’t seen in ages. She looked great. What I noticed first though, was her eyes. They had this light that I feel like I’ve lost.  I wanted to know what she was doing differently. I mean I’m reading the Bible. I’m praying, I’m studying healthy eating habit and I’m exercising.

I’m.

I’m.

I’m.

I’m.

hmmmm

 

Then she said something really great – eating disorders cover false idols.

I had never until that very moment thought of the idol of being thin.

It was a total “aha” moment for me.

It was immediately obvious that I’m doing something very different from what she is doing. She’s living to honor God, I’m living to get thin again. No wonder my eyes look tired and her’s don’t.  If I’m is a contraction of I am. Maybe I’m focusing on the wrong I AM?

I wonder.

Think about it.

An idol is a false god — something that replaces the real God we have in Christ.

CONFESSION: Every single reason I have ever – in my life – had, for wanting to lose weight — is an idol. Approval, self-esteem, respect, personal health, success, control. None of my choices had anything to do with God. No wonder I continue to  fail. I’ve made it all about me.

What about you?

What is your reason for wanting to lose weight?  

  

This post written by Deana O’Hara for Redemption’s Heart: Confessions of a Spiritual Bulimic. All rights reserved. No goods or services were given in exchange for the endorsement of Setting Captives Free. I am only sharing a resource that I myself find to be very useful.

 

Atomic Carrot with Flames

Deana3 Comments
Human hair close-up
Image via Wikipedia

Late breaking news.  A hair crisis hit Broken Arrow when we discovered that all new hair growth along my crown and center part appeared to be white. In an effort to hide this Bride of Frankenstein phenomenon, I pulled my hair back in a ponytail only to discover that the hair on my temples is also white.

That can’t be.

Granted, we did have a frost this weekend. But white hair? at 45. Say it ain’t so Joe.

It’s so.

And I did what any rational woman would do.

I tried to bleach my hair blonde so as to blend better with the new white and as quick as you can say “Nice and Easy,” I invented a new color.

Atomic carrot with flames..

and the white roots? are still white.

Since misery loves company, not to mention really cute hats, would any of you like to share your hair fiascos with me?

Rules of Engagement in a Social Media Age

Deana3 Comments

Another post on social engagement? yep. Why? I thought in light of last night’s elections and the “banter” I’ve been seeing, we could all use a good reminder of how to BE NICE. In all fairness, am I always nice? no.. remember Paco? yeah, that wasn’t nice at all. I called my Facebook/Blogging friend Taylor an over stuffed pig. Fortunately, I’m good at groveling and owning my own messes when I create them. Even better, he’s really good at forgiving. Taylor is performing in Oklahoma next summer and I get to go to his show and talk face to face without the shame of unconfessed sin. I love it!

The old me — never would have owned my mistake, or apologized. I simply would have hidden myself away and avoided said person for the rest of my life. — What’s neat is knowing I’m not that woman today. What would be better, is not behaving in a way that requires amends. One of these days, maybe.

This has been a strange week, one day I get drowned by negative comments and snarky remarks, and the next day I meet a new blogger. He’s a young guy, 23 years old and new to the blogosphere. He left a rather funny comment on my blog, and I checked him out. I check out everyone who comments. He didn’t comment to promote himself, necessarily, he just  thought what I’d written was funny. His name linked back to his page and found him to be funny as well. I’m always happy to meet someone new. I enjoy posts like that.

I have a rather eclectic “tribe” if you will. We all come from different walks of life. Very few of us are the same religion, and yet we get along. Why? Because we are respectful of each other. Oh sure, I get the occasional spammers who just want to leave their link in hopes of driving traffic, and yes, I get the ones who want to hit and run – pouring gasoline on some post I’d written leaving behind an anonymous name. I delete those. If you aren’t going to tell me who you are, don’t expect me to listen to you. And as a the host of this blog, I have a responsibility to protect my other commenters. While discussion and friendly debate are healthy, ganging up on someone simply because you disagree with them is not. I delete those comments as well.

Social Media Etiquette is a new thing. As we learn to interact with each other over the internet, we need to remember that the rules that apply in real life — face to face – should also apply online. Sadly we don’t always remember that. Even more sad is when I find out that yes, they are this rude in person as they are online. ICK.

 I have three points that I try to remember and want to pass on.

Be Responsible – Take accountability not only for your posts, but your comments as well. I’m not really interested in seeing a repost of someone elses work on your blog. Write your own content, and follow copywrite laws. Use spell check and don’t misrepresent facts. If you receive compensation for a specific referral or post, FCC regulations require that we report that at the end of our blogs. Double check what you are reporting when possible. Same goes for comments you leave on people’s pages. If you can add to the conversation, great do so. But if you simply want to take away from it and start a fight, move on. Which brings me to my next point.

Be Respectful — There is nothing that drives readership and commenters away more quickly than rude and irresponsible posts and rebuttals. What do I mean by that? My readers don’t always agree with every post, and I welcome differing opinions freely. We just have an understanding. Be respectful in how you comment and how you treat other commentors.  I mediate my comments section and if I see rude or snarky remarks aimed at another poster, I will either issue a warning or delete the offending comment entirely. I’ve seen many blogs that do this rather well (ie.. Randy Elrod, Micheal Hyatt, Carlos Whittaker) and I’ve seen many blogs that don’t do this well. — Those I’ll let you find on your own. — please note: a comment that expresses a differing opinion than mine is not necessarily rude and snarky – a comment that calls me an idiot for thinking what I think and drowning me or someone else in paragraphs of “proof” IS. If you get attacked after leaving a comment, don’t defend yourself, just don’t go back. I’ll give a blogger three tries and if each time I leave a comment, no matter how well it’s worded and the blog owner allows his friends to attack me, or attacks me themselves, I delete them from my rolls, it’s that simple.

Relax Already – It’s not the end of the world if someone disagrees with you or if you disagree with a post. Social media is supposed to Enlighten, Entertain, Engage and hopefully Educate. If you don’t like the tone of something you read, don’t leave a nasty remark, just move on. There are millions of pages to be seen in the blogosphere and not every one is going to be up your alley. It’s okay. The same rule applies if someone doesn’t agree with your take on things. Don’t get defensive and argue back. Engage them in the conversation, ask leading questions. You might learn something.

 Above all — just have fun. Social Media isn’t meant to replace real life relationships. It can however, broaden your horizons and bit and maybe help you learn some new things.

  

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This post written by Deana O’Hara for Redemption’s Heart: Confessions of a Spiritual Bulimic. All rights reserved. No goods or services were received in exchange for any of the bloggers mentioned in today’s post. I am simply listing them as what I believe to be positive examples on how to engage in today’s world.

When Teams Share Names

Deana7 Comments

I worked for Sprint Communications from 1986 – 1990. During that time I fixed computers, wired muxes, installed PBX systems and ran a data room the size of my kitchen. I was pretty smart back then I think. Even so, sports and I are not really friends.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll watch the Bears with my guys any day and back then, I sat in the bleachers of Wrigley Field with my binoculars (to better see the second baseman with) like every other gal in the city. I love baseball, and I love my Cubs. But.. even an avid sports fan (Rhino groupie) has her limits.

Take the day I was covering the lunch shift at the switchboard.

Me: Sprint Communications, how may I direct your call?

Voice on other end: Yes, this is Joe Montana, may I please speak with Loren?

Me: Oh I get it, a code name! Sure I’ll put you right through. (Loren was our secret service guy — used to work for President’s Ford and Reagan.)

Voice: No. This is really Joe. We went to college together.

Me: Oh I know you! You’re that guy who does those panty hose commercials. I love those commercials.

Voice: Sigh. No, that would be the other Joe. I play football.

Me: Really? For who?

Turns out Mr Namath Montana played for San Francisco. Hmm.. I would have known that if I really cared about football. But I didn’t. Turns out, he was cute! Shoulda ‘paid closer attention.

Now.. If I got Joe wrong, can you blame me for thinking that the New York Giants won the World Series?

I think teams should make up their own names and not steal from other sports. Just sayin.

Monday menu : November 1, 2010

Deana4 Comments

It’s November, can you believe it? Where did October go? I was going to learn how to make Apple Butter in October, but I guess I procrastinated the month away because that never happened. I’ve been sitting here this morning, trying to plan my menu for the week and I hate to say it, but I’ve got nothing. Well, I have my outline, you know fish on Mondays but still. I need inspiration today. Fortunately for me,  WordPress has added a nifty new feature where it will plug-in related blogs at the bottom of your posts. This little trick has led me to some new and exciting places that I’ve been checking out all morning.  This is where I like to go when my cookbooks come up empty.

1. Ree Drummond: The Pioneer Woman. Ree lives in Oklahoma and is married to a rancher. While her recipes might not always be low in fat, a lot of them are and her detailed directions make them easy to make. She writes about a LOT more than just cooking. I love her website. Granted, I have to set a timer when I go there because otherwise I’d never get anything done.

2. Abi Joy Hopkins: Support Future Artists.  Abi also lives in Oklahoma. I’ve known her for 17 years and she is a delightful young woman whose artistic talents extends to the dinner table. I go to her blog when I’m looking for something fresh and creative. Oh man, you should really check her out. Abi cooks with whole foods and in a day where most young women do not know how to cook — she is an inspiration.

3. Elizabeth Edwards: Mom Cooks   Elizabeth lives in Michigan (one of the dozen or so states I’ve lived in throughout my life) and I had to include her. I love her writing style and honesty. She’s a stay home mom just like me. She’s close to my age and I can totally relate to her. I’m thrilled with this new find. (Discovered via WP widgets)

4. Jenn Fowler: Frugal Upstate. I will admit, it was the title of her blog that caught my eye. “Upstate” can only mean one thing, she must be from New York. I was right!  Okay, so reading her blog does make me a bit homesick. (I was born near Rattlesnake Gulch, outside of Syracuse.) Jenn refers to herself as a “suburban subversive, plotting to reinvent the way we stay-at-home-moms think about keeping up with the Joneses.” After reading her blog, I can’t help but wonder if my penchant for resale shops didn’t come from my time in NY. (Discovered via WP widgets)

5. When all else fails, I check out All Recipes dot com. It’s a free website where readers share recipe tips and ideas, complete with photographs. I fall back on this one a lot. I can save recipes to my virtual box, print them either as full-page or index cards, and they even have a subscription services where I receive daily recipes. I love it.

 I’ve decided to try one recipe from each page this week and then one from my cookbooks. The tricky part is going to be decided which ones. They are all so good. I’ll let you know how it goes, how’s that?

Have a great week ya’ll.

Edited at 1:45 to add:

I have my choices for the week:

Today: Breaded Fish, tartar sauce, green beans, and sweet potato fries from Mom’s Cook. No recipe, just took one of her menu ideas since it took me so long to plan today — note to self: do not pig out on leftover Halloween candy while menu planning — it kinda kills it. LOL

Tue: Malsaysian Mango Chicken Curry from All Recipes 

Wed: Roast Chicken with Autumn Veggies from Support Future Artists — this will be perfect as I’ll use the leftovers for chicken soup on Friday. – I’ll be out with my Dad on Friday night, so I’ll just cook up the soup for the guys.

Thursday: Spaghetti with artichoke hearts and tomatoes from The Pioneer Woman

Still looking for a saturday dish – will try something from Upstate and let ya’ll know how that turns out.

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