The Beach
The Wild Animals
The Smiles
Three Things I Love about Cancun
Category: Family Life
Meet my family and follow along as we traverse the sometimes unfamiliar waters of ADHD, Epilepsy, and life as a ministry family.
Life After Kids, Cowgirls ‘n Angels
One of my biggest fears is having my children grow up, move out and leave me behind. Marriage and parenting can take our all, every day, every week, every year. And then poof, just like that it seems they are grown, gone and testing their wings.
What then?
A lot of women fall apart at this stage in life. So do a lot of marriages.
I made a choice a few years ago. I do not want those things happening to me. I do not want to wake up six months from now without a clue of who I am. Or worse yet – I do not want to wake up six months from now, look at my husband and think “who are you and what are you doing in my bed?”
Just like weening a baby off the breast, I have to ween myself off the “mom roll” and come back to the woman.
It’s not easy to do. Actually it is very painful at times.
It takes soul-searching work, bravery, and conviction.
There is a fun side to testing my own wings and seeing what I’m made of beneath the sweat suit and pony-tail.
One of the fun things is watching this movie trailer and seeing myself in the crowd scenes during the trick riding. – I even got paid to be there when they filmed last summer.
A release date has not yet been set, but I can’t wait to go see it.
Life doesn’t have to end when our kids grow up. We can begin to prepare by getting to know that woman in the mirror again today.
Take some time and get to know her, who knows maybe she’ll surprise you.
Love you guys!
Broken Arrow Easter Egg Hunt April 7, 2012
The Annual Ablaze Easter Egg Hunt & Canned Food Drive is coming soon!
What: 6000 Eggs To Hunt!
Where: Liberty Elementary School
209th between 41st & 51st
Broken Arrow
When: Saturday April 7th @ 1:00 pm
This event is a blast! All those eggs. All this kids. All those smiles! Bring your kids, friends, & neighbors! Please be sure to bring a canned food item for Broken Arrow Neighbors.
Who needs RDJ when you’re already married to the sexiest man alive.
I am dating the sexiest man alive and I love it!
Move over Robert Downey Junior. Sherlock Holmes and Iron Man, might look cool on the big screen but they pale in real life, they are after all, fictitious characters. While I joke a lot about my crush on Robert Downey Junior, I also know my hubs has the same kinda crush on Meg Ryan. I’ve known this since we met. No worries. We’re cool with that and comfortable enough with each other (and ourselves) to own it out loud if we think someone is hot.
But seriously — I actually think my husband is hotter than Robert Downey Jr.
For starters he’s a lead guitar player in a band – with a respectable day job. So he’s an artist who eats.
He’s a brilliant business man.
He’s a poet/songwriter.
He can cook.
He’s a great dad.
He gives back to the community without needing his name in the paper. — LOVE that.
He can tear up the water on a tube.
He’s an avid fisherman and a good one.
An excellent soccer coach back when he coached.
He likes U2 almost as much as I do. Almost.
He’s got a wicked sense of humor and is a great source of inspiration for a lot of my stories and jokes.
And when I tried to go blonde to surprise him last winter, he tried really hard not to laugh when the results weren’t quite what I expected. (Think atomic carrot with flames. yes it was that bad.)
We are polar opposites as well. He’s an extrovert and I’m an introvert. He likes classic rock, I like country. I love to travel, he’d rather just fish. He’s a White Sox Fan and I love the Cubs. He likes action flicks, I like romantic comedies. And yet it works.
This is the man I get to date again after 21 years of raising kids. I’m kinda diggin that if you really want to know.
If you are married, I highly suggest dating your mate.
It’s a lot of fun.
And so this is New Year
I read once that the trick to getting over the blank page hump is to write three or four sentances.
I’m not sure if it works.
But I thought I’d give it a try.
And lo, I’m writing.
Happy New Year you guys. Did you know that Mayans did not believe the world was going to end in 2012? They calendared Eras not years. To them 2012 signifies the ending of an era of darkness and begins the era of light. I rather like that thought, don’t you?
This is my very first alone time moment in three weeks that does not involve napping to shut the world out or showers. I have a puppy that won’t even let me pee alone without busting down the door to save me but she will let me shower alone, thankfully. Right now my oldest is sleeping, hubs is working and youngest is at school for another 30 minutes. I better make the most of it. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family beyond measure. I’m also an introvert. (or INFJ according to Meyers Briggs) Alone time is crucial to my ET. (Emotional Temperature.)
I’m sitting at my new desk, looking around my office and I’m filled with joy and fear all at once. So many possibilities lay ahead. It’s finally put together – mostly. We painted the walls, hung the pictures and brought up the furnature. So far I love it. Just don’t ask what the rest of my house looks like.
I have learned that self-effacing humor does not always translate well in the literary sense. Despite my initial neurotic rantings about how I came to choose my word for the year (breathe) I actually like the possibilities that it opens. I’m only day four into the new year and I’ve already found great moments to practice my breathing.
When my togetherness threshold meets one more day of vacation than I anticipate, I need to breathe.– Everyone, and I do mean EVERY one in my house has a different idea on how to spend the day. — I want to clean the house, put away Christmas, do laundry and put away all our stuff from the lake that is still laying throughout the main level of our home. My boys want to film their newest epic movie with friends at our house (which is a mess). And my husband wants to complete the transfer of rooms, which involves the moving of furniture and the placing of more boxes throughout the hall and house. I never did get my house clean. I did however at least get Christmas put away.
When I finally step on the scale (first time since Thanksgiving) I discover that I am UP 13 pounds. – I need to breathe.
When I tell my husband I’m cancelling my Friday Drs appt because I’m up 13 pounds oh and yeah, I accidentally followed the guy’s racing team on twitter over break and well can I just find a new doctor? (I’m neurotic like that) — He practices breathing. No go on cancelling, he made me promise I’d keep the appointment.
When I find out my new dental bridge costs $1006 out-of-pocket because of our deductible – I need to breathe.
And finally when I have my short me time, I practice breathing in the possibilities of the year to come. My next choice can determine the outcome of 2012. Taking the time to breathe before I act helps me choose well.
I’ve been reading your posts. Seems everyone is excited about 2012 as I am. Many of you have new words or phrases for the year. That’s exciting. So, what goals do you have to 2012? What steps do you plan on taking in January to get you there? I’d love to hear from you.
In Search of Wings
Horses lend us the wings we lack. Pam Brown, 1928
I woke up with my shoulders in my ears this morning. My to do list is out of hand what with Christmas just around the corner and my oldest due home on Friday. I have too much on my mental plate and need to blow off some steam.
In light of that, I took time out to ride today. I usually ride Prince on Tuesdays. (See photo) This time Janell let me ride Cowboy. Cowboy jacks with me most days, but not today. He’s not a bad horse, he just doesn’t like beginners. I’ve been riding for almost a year now and even though I cannot hold a steady gallop, I’m no longer a beginner. Something about my seat told him I could be trusted. He did everything I asked.
Horses need to be able to trust their riders as much as riders need to be able to trust their horses. It’s a two-way relationship. There is a life lesson in this I’m sure. Janell is teaching me how to race barrels as well as jump. Once I learn those, it’s on to roping cattle. I’m becoming a real cowgirl. I’m 46. This is crazy. And oh so much fun.
J-man wants to know how I can “race barrels” if we aren’t really going at a full gallop yet. He’s an are we there yet kind of fellow.
That’s an easy question to answer. We just do it. It’s not about the speed. At least not yet. It’s about form and it’s about trust. Once that foundation is set, the speed will come. Every hour I spend in the arena, I push myself to go a little bit faster for a little bit longer. I work my abs and my legs by holding them straight. My left leg keeps wanting to curl up underneath me for protection and that throws me off balance, holding it straight is a huge challenge. I work on keeping my eyes up and forward instead of on the ground. I sit as tall as I can and I let the horse go. Every day I ride, I borrow courage from the horse and make it my own.
Cowboy does not give an inch. Every step, every breath, every moment is earned with him. I rather like that.
I prefer to earn my own confidence than have it handed to me.
Cowboy will not let me lope one minute before I’m ready. His resistance is teaching about my own journey in life. So often we are in a hurry to arrive. Cowboy forces me to slow down, breathe deeply, check my seat, stay balanced and enjoy the ride.
In light of that, I’m taking the rest of the year off.
I hope you don’t mind it’s just that I’ve been in such a hurry to make Christmas arrive that I’m missing the journey.
No more twitter. (Ouchies.. I kinda like twitter)
No more Facebook. eh, they’ll live.
and No more Blog. At least not until 2012.
I hope you don’t mind.
I haven’t taken time to harvest the fruit from 2011 or to rest.
I need time to be.
To quote Anne Jackson, the internet will still be here in 2012. Have a blessed Hunakkah or Christmas or whichever you celebrate. I’ll see you in 2012.
Love and Laughter
Deana
The trick to riding
I love this sign. I see it every time I saddle up to ride. Funny thing is though now that I’m learning how to barrel race and eventually rope, Jo thinks it might be good for me to learn how to fall off a horse safely.
I’ve never really viewed falling as something I do safely. I always thought falling to be the equivalent of being unceremoniously dumped on my butt.
To help me better grasp the concept Jo changed her verbiage. Rather than thinking of it as falling, it’s really an emergency dismount. I don’t want to show you how to fall, I want you to learn how to land on your feet and stay out of harms way.
I fall off my bike a lot but I’ve never fallen off a horse. When faced with dangerous situations, dismounting is sometimes your safest bet. It doesn’t matter if it’s a horse or a bike. A rider should always pay attention to their surroundings.
Knowing when and how to fall, is as important as knowing how to ride.
Heading for Yukon Oklahoma!
Okay so it’s a little blurry but this photo is from last year’s A Funny Thing comedy night in Yukon Oklahoma. Michele and I were part of a comedy competition last year and have been asked to come back again this year. I am so stoked! Michele placed and while I did not — I’m going for it this year.
I’m new to the comedy circuit and while I felt weird starting stand up in my 40’s I’ve since discovered that I’m by no means the youngest newcomer. I met a gal in her 60’s this week starting comedy and I think that’s awesome.
I got into stand up as a way to overcome stage fright. I’ve been MCing various charity events over the years and struggle when the crowds reach over 50 people. Since doing stand up I can now speak comfortably in crowds much larger than that.
Learning stand up has made me a better speaker, a better writer, and just a lot more fun. Unless I’m trying to take your emotional temperature to assess whether or not I can joke with you, then I’m a neurotic mess. Fortunately those times are few and far between. Stand up has also given me a healthy outlet for my warped sense of humor which is definitely a good thing.
There was a time when telling jokes would terrify me and through practice, patience, time and friends who believe in me, I’ve over come that.
What fears have you faced down in your life? I’d love to hear from you.
This post written by Deana O’Hara for Redemption’s Heart. September 15 2011. All rights reserved.
Returning: It’s Always the Quiet Ones
It’s always the quiet ones. Police tape and blood are scattered everywhere. The press interviews the neighbors they all say the same thing about the person who committed the crime, “They were so nice, and so quiet, I just can’t imagine.”
I was nice you know. Really I was. Way back when the world was my oyster and everyone was my friend. I was so nice to people that I bordered on masochistic. It did not matter what I wanted, needed, or cared about it – I was more than willing to lay down and make room for everyone else. It was after all the “nice” thing to do.
I just knew that soon or later if I laid down for you, the day would come back where you would step aside to make room for my wants and needs. Only life doesn’t work that way. We do not as humans necessarily notice the things (or people) we step over. We are too focused on our end point to see the cracks in the sidewalk. The only things we really notice along the way are the people walking next to us, that and the gum on our shoes.
One would think that wisdom and years would teach me that being the walking one, beside you as an equal, would gather far greater results than being gum.
One would think.
I met a woman at work one day who had more tenacity than a viper and absolutely no shame whatsoever. She had her eyes on her end game. My husband actually. He and I worked on separate floors in the same building, had two boys, and had only been married about five years when she entered the scene. Jezabel (as I lovingly called her) worked on his floor. He took her far less seriously than I did and the very fact that he told me about her attempts at asking him out or being near him just reinforced that. She was in his mind – harmless.
My mind? Notsomuch.
In a passive attempt to mark my territory, I started using lilac scented fabric softener on his laundry, framed photos of the boys for his desk and sent cute “I love you” gifts for him to display. I even went to glamour shots and had the hottest photograph of my self ever taken, promptly framed it and made him put it on his desk.
None of it worked.
I knew I was in trouble when she crossed in front of my car while I was driving in to work.
Nice me seriously considered flooring it.
It was time to meet face to face in a non homicidal friendly environment, even though arranging that might be problematic. Turns out I didn’t have to, providence has a way of handling things on her own.
Our introduction was rather spectacular actually. We were out with friends from work at a local sports bar when she entered (with man on her arm no less). Did I mention that she was a knock out? Well she was. I spotted her before my husband did and rather than warn him, I chose to sit back and see how this plays out.
The minute she saw us, she left her boy toy in the dust, rushed over, threw her arms around him, gave him a hug and a kiss, sat on the stool to his left (I was on the right)placed her hand on his thigh and proceed to chatter up a storm.
I can imagine little worse than being a man stuck in the middle of what surely is to become a blood bath.
Quickly hoping to take the attention off himself he introduced us — and ducked. Her hands were immediately airborne, reaching to shake mine and in a high pitch squeaky voice, she offers me her name.
Formerly nice me – left her hand hanging in mid-air.
I simply smiled and said “Oh look, it’s Alvin with breasts. How nice.”
The entire table ruptured with laughter.
I didn’t need my car after all.
I guess the neighbors are right, it IS always the quiet ones.
It was the kind of come back I’d dreamed of all my life, so why did I feel so badly?
Did you ever intentionally hurt someone? How did it feel? Was it worth it?
This post written by Deana O’Hara for Redemption’s Heart. September 6, 2011. All rights reserved.
Ooh They Come in Pink!
Status on Facebook: So I’m shopping at Bass Pro with my wife and I’m talking to this guy about 7.1:1 vs. 6.4:1 reel ratios, 7 baring vs. 9, magnetic brake vs. Pin braking system…..you know, the usual stuff. Then we hear a voice behind us “Ooh! They come in pink”! My wife is now the proud owner of a Zebco rod/reel combo. Humbling really…..(Jeff O’Hara )
Not only do I have a pink rod and reel, I have pink line, pink bait, and a pink hat. I’m ready to fish. All I need to do now is remember where I put that fishing licence we got last May. Why pink you ask? Easy, 1. It’s my favorite color. 2. I live with three guys (1 husband, 2 sons) Pink is the only color I know they won’t “borrow.”
Deana O'Hara - Speaker, Comedian, Writer 