Category: authenticity

Finding a Place to Begin

DeanaLeave a comment

Working out to stay in shape is a lot more fun than working out to get back in shape. Just saying.

Do you remember last summer? I knew I needed to get back in shape. My bout with depression several years ago has left 50 pounds that I need to deal with. Rather than allow that to depress me all over again, I’m taking a more positive approach.

I have friends and acquaintances who inspire me. One wrote a book on climbing mountains with his daughter. Another ran a triathlon and placed third in his age group. Another became an Iron Man. Another, recovering from a heart defect and surgery, is fighting to really get in shape and run a marathon. Another friend ran her first 5 K.

A surefire way to fail your goals is to set them so unrealistically high that there is no way to meet them. I said I wanted to do a 5K, but I treated it like I was training for a full marathon, definitely not the smartest thing I’ve done.

I was a martial artist at one time. I’ve competed nationally in Tai Chi and Shaolin Kung Fu. There was a time when I could rock more than this chair I’m presently sitting in. I’m a long way from where I was and getting back will take more than just a day or two. I have to work my way back up to that level of training.

It is okay to allow these people to inspire me, but last summer I took that inspiration and set goals so high and so unrealistic that I crashed and burned very quickly.

I set out  on my own. I downloaded information on how to train for a half-marthon, joined Zumba, promised to join a church fitness class…blah blah blah.

I didn’t see my doctor. I didn’t do anything about my left knee that is not stable, or my right ankle that no longer tolerates my weight because of a childhood injury. I didn’t check my blood pressure, blood sugar or anything else. I just jumped into the deep end without the proper gear.

And I didn’t last a month. I failed.

Good thing about failure, is you can learn from it. I found a trainer and joined her class on Wednesday nights. She is harder than my physical therapist when I blew out my ACL six years ago. Her class is a three fold experience, mind, body, and spirit.  It’s the best workout I’ve had in a long time.

I saw my Doctor and she is treating my blood pressure and helping with my diet.  I’m wearing the right gear for both my knee and my ankle.

Can I keep up with the class? No. Heather showed me where to begin.  I used to love working out. I’ll get that back. Beginning is half the battle.

I’m in Nashville watching a friend of mine film a comedy video and will be back on Wednesday. Have a great week everybody.

This post written by Deana O’Hara for Redemption’s Heart. No part may be copied or redistributed without express written permission of the author. January 16, 2010

 

God’s Amazing Journey in 2009

Deana2 Comments

Hungry for a fresh word from God, I found myself searching His word and being still long enough to listen to Him speak over me throughout 2009. In doing so, I learn that he is creating a new thing. He wants me to stop looking back and trust him more going forward. He wants me to rest in Him in a way that lets go of fear and anxiety.

2009 was a year of preparation. He is still writing my story, and I know now that he is getting ready to tell it.

2009 is over, but I don’t want to lose that which took ahold of me. I’ve replaced my memory verse page with one titled C-Fit, which is a new program being offered in my church. I’ll be using that page to keep authentic and accountable with my commitment to it.

I’m not sure what I was looking for at the end of 2008. I was feeling edgy. I was praying for a word from God; something to study and focus on for 2009 and nothing was coming to me. It’s not that God was silent, I can’t explain it other than he either wasn’t bold or I had a hearing problem. I’m guessing it was my hearing. I wanted His direction for me, and lo I came upon Beth Moore’s

I’ve layed down a lot of things over the years, bad habits and good. This is a year of thoughtfully choosing which good habits to pick back up. Beth is doing a scripture memorization challenge for 2009 and was asking for participants. I found that, and heard God – do THIS. 😉

I used to memorize scriptures, but had gotten away from it. So this is my new goal for 2009, memorize 24 new scriptures. Only don’t just memorize them – meditate on them, study them, ponder them in my heart. Allow them to become part of my marrow, and not just my brain cells. This isn’t a works thing, it’s a relationship thing. It’s a conversation, a two way dialog with God. Nice habit to be back into.

December 15 , 2009 One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple. Psalm 27:4

December 1 2009 “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.” – Jeremiah 6:16

November 1, 2009 Fulfill Your promise to Your servant, so that You may be feared. Take away the disgrace I dread, for Your laws are good. How I long for Your precepts! Preserve my life in your righteousness. Psalm 119:38-40 NIVOctober 15, 2009 Phil 4:4-9 “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”

October 1, 2009 – “1 But now, this is what the LORD says— he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

September 15, 2009 – Revelation 17:14 (NIV) “They will make war against the Lamb, but the Lamb will overcome them because He is Lord of lords and King of kings–and with Him will be His called, chosen and faithful followers.”

September 1, 2009 – Isaiah 43:18-19 Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

Aug 15, 2009 – “Pour out your heart like water before the face of the Lord. Lift your hands toward Him for the life of your young children.” – Lamentations 2:29

Aug 1 – I was on vacation

July 15 – Psalm 116:7 (NIV) “Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you.”

July 1 – “The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.” -Psalm 126:3 (NIV)

June 15, 2009 – Psalm 121:1-2 I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; from where shall my help come? My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth.

June 1, 2009 – Psalm 143:5 (New International Version) “I remember the days of long ago;
I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done.”

May 15, 2009 – “Being confident in this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 1: 6 (NIV)

May 1, 2009 “In my anguish I cried to the LORD, and He answered me by setting me free. The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? The LORD is with me; He is my helper. I will look in triumph on my enemies.” Psalm 118:5-7 (NIV)

April 15, 2009 – Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. Romans 13:8 NIV

April 1 2009 “The LORD your God is with you; He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” Zeph 3:17 NIV

March 15, 2009 – (Isaiah 4:10) So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you: I will up hold you with my righteous right hand.”

March 1, 2009 – Hebrews 10:35-36 – “So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded, you need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised.”

February 2009 – Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV) “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

January 15, 2009 (Isaiah 41:9) – “I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, ‘You are my servant’: I have chosen you and have not rejected you.

January 1, 2009 – Ephesians 3:17-19. “I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”

LPM Blog. I did not know she had one. I love Beth’s Bible studies. I’ve facilitated several.

　
 
 
 
 

 

Oh No She Didn’t

Deana6 Comments

I am an absolute failure at telling people I disagree with them.  I hate conflict and I hate making people feel badly.  Assuming people are going to feel badly about themselves because I have a different opinion than they do is an arrogant assumption I know. I’m working on it. It’s that angle or I don’t want them to feel badly about me… I get those two confused some times.

It really is all about me most days. I just hate debating issues. I’m not good at it and I rarely win. I can tell a person what I think and feel, but if I have to defend that in such a way that it feels like the other person wants me to convince them I’m right? That’s another story all together. Most times I chose not to say anything at all and that situation has me in hot water a lot these days.

I’m in hot water because now I have all this feeling behind the opinion. And I have opinions people aren’t used to hearing. I am getting better though.

One thing I need to work on this year — getting over the whole pastor phobia deal. No seriously, you know how some people have snake phobias? Well, I have pastor phobias… especially if they are wearing that black and white death suit of theirs.  Reminds me of Darth Vader… chills.

Imagine having a pastor phobia, being in a speech class under a pastor and you hear her say THIS… to another student, loudly enough that she is obviously engaging the class:

“Well you know that Martin Luther doesn’t believe in works, right? I mean EVERYONE knows he wanted the whole book of James removed from the Bible. Lutherans only believe in Grace.” —

It really seemed like one of the pastors adamantly agreed with her. And now I am faced with two pastors on one side and I felt like defenseless cheese. 

We’re talking feelings here and not necessarily facts.

I didn’t agree with her and I wanted to throw up.  Pastor phobia, remember? That and I was wracking my brain trying to remember the REAL story behind Martin Luther and the book of James.. 

What struck me though — after I sifted through the names I wanted to call her adn how I sat there and said nothing, but stewed for two days — is I had paid almost $2,000 to be in the particular class.  My instructor is erroneously bashing Martin Luther and as a result, I feel insulted to the point that I missed every thing else she said. She had my bio, she knew I was Lutheran. My anger at her comments had rendered me speechless.

I spent a long time being angry with myself for not speaking up and now I also realise that:

1. She was incorrect not only in her theological history but in her attitude as well.

2. Her actions were  unprofessional.

And I felt powerless to do anything about it.

I want to handle things differently next time. I’m not sure how I’ll go about it yet. But I’ll figure it out.

Have you ever been there? What would you have done? How would you have handled it?

Cooking with men

Deana1 Comment

“I really like hanging out with the O’Hara’s. They laugh all the time.” — my youngest son’s girlfriend.

Being snowed in for Christmas break was fun. I had all three of my guys home with me and we all pitched in to make Christmas, well, Christmas this year.  They helped bake cookies, cook meals and hang Christmas lights. They even hung an upside dummy off our porch to make it look like someone fell off the roof while hanging lights.  Sadly the ice storm did him in before I could photograph their feat.

I would have taken a picture before the storm but I was too busy screaming and catching my breath every time I walked outside because I kept forgetting it was there. Life with boys is always an adventure.

On one of our snowed in days I decided to make gingerbread men. I baked the men and they all decorated them. Honestly, I’m surprised that there are no serious mutations, or zombies in this batch. The worst one is the wet diaper dude. And that one was created by my husband. I won’t be taking thes to a church social or anything. It was a just for us kind of deal.

Of course my oldest son, who is home from college, decided to dedicate one of our gingerbread men to Comic Tim Hawkins.

Seems the “fire ants” (red sugar crystals) have eaten this poor guy’s leg down to the bone already. You have to see the Fire Ant song on his newest DVD to totally get this. I think it’s hilarious.

That’s what happens when you are the only female in a house full of men. You laugh at really crazy things, like potty jokes, “that’s what she said” stuff, and you laugh at mutilated gingerbread men. It just happens.

Knowing that other people see us as a family that loves to laugh is a nice thing. We are real people, we don’t laugh all of the time. But we laugh a lot and I like that.

How often do you laugh at home? Every day? Every week? Rarely?  Why not make a promise to yourself and to your family to find something silly to laugh about just for today and see what kind of difference it makes.

Finding My Story for 2010

Deana6 Comments

I was going to post a blog today about my new resolutions, until I read Donald Miller’s Post on Living a Good Story. (You have got to read it, seriously. Awesome piece) No one is asking me to endorse it, I just happened to catch the link on Twitter today and thought WOW, this is so it! And that post is why I am changing how I look at both 2009 and 2010.

“When you do tell your story, don’t sound like the victim. If you do, you’ll sound like you’re whining. Just be truthful in telling your story and aim to discover that slice of humanity that others can relate to.”  David Pierce, to me last summer, author of “Don’t Let Me Go.”

Stories can capture the soul or bore you stupid, kind of like my blog some days.   I’m going through midlife puberty and my voice is changing. Some days I nail it, mostly I squeak. My “mom” days are coming to a close. It’s a scary season for me. I’m still needed, but not in the same way.

I do find it interesting , that my top two blog entries in 2009 were on Letting Go and Understanding our Identity in Christ, By: Cj Rapp. Both received hundreds of hits a piece and they were the most commonly searched topics.

I did not begin 2009 with a story in mind and yet looking back, those two pieces nail it. Letting Go of what holds me back and finding my identity in Christ is the story of 2009 at least for me.  Christ loves me, not because of what I do or don’t do, but because I breath in and out.  I can’t do a single thing to make Him love me less, or love me more than he does right now. WOW. 

That was God’s gift to me last year.  That knowing that I wanted so desperately in January. Remember my verse for the year? – Ephesians 3:17-19. “I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”

I “get” it today.

 My goals for 2009 were pretty vague – memorize 24 scripture verses, survive graduation and my son leaving for college, lose 60 lbs (didn’t happen) — I was also going to quit smoking, but I copped a resentment last summer and well, that didn’t happen either. — And yes, I am self destructive when I’m feeling resentful. Even so, stopping smoking is a requirement for the story I want to live in 2010.

 

I’m back at square one today. I’m throwing away my resoltions and I’m looking for the story of 2010. What story do I want to live? I’m not sure yet. That will take some thought.

I’m going to take the advice from a teacher again- my story for 2010won’t involve being a victim, no whining might take some work, and it will be truthful. Truthful to God, to my family, and to myself.

How about you? What story do you want to live in 2010? I’d love to hear from you.

EDITED TO ADD:  _– a neurotic note to say  How quickly I forget,  — Donald Miller wrote Blue Like Jazz, one of my favorite books of all time – no wonder his piece on stories not resolutions spoke to me so well. 

Read this guy.. I’m glad I found him again.. I feel a bookstore afternoon coming up.

Oh Dear Heavens, I’m Naked! 2009 In Review

Deana1 Comment

There is a near naked woman on my Christmas Cards and it’s me! I’m not totally naked, it’s just that my favorite blouse (the one I’m wearing in our Christmas Card photo) is see through and nobody told me. I want to shoot my family and my overly polite friends who simply thought — “She has to know.” NO I did not know! And I ordered over 50 cards with that photo thank you very much. They’ll tell me I have lipstick on my teeth – but a see through blouse goes unmentioned.

Nice.

I know I said I wanted to be more transparent in 2009 but that is not what I meant. Hence, no cards were mailed this year. 2009 is the year my life turned inside out and upside down. Shaking out the cobwebs, dust and loose change I am not just on the precipice of change but smack center of it all. What an exhilarating ride. My oldest left for college. My youngest is learning how to drive. My husband’s band released their first musical CD and I made a rather drastic career change. I also made new friends, new enemies, and a fool of myself more than once. Good news is, I didn’t die.

Having spent the past 20 years as Jeff’s wife, and Charlie and Dillon’s Mom I began 2009 with very little clue about who Deana really is. I decided that I wanted to know her better and follow God’s path more than my own or anyone else‘s for that matter. Instead of my annual Christmas letter, I thought I’d answer Michael Hyatt’s Seven Questions for Last Year. If you’d like to do that same — see his original post for more information.

　

If the last year were a movie of your life, what would the genre be? Drama, romance, adventure, comedy, tragedy, or a combination?

  • Comedy and Adventure —

What were the two or three major themes that kept recurring? These can be single words or phrases. For me, they were:

  • Giving my family wings
  • Learning to use my own wings
  • Learning to get along with less and enjoying it more

What did you accomplish this past year that you are the most proud of? These can be in any area of your life—spiritual, relational, vocational physical, etc. Be as specific as possible.

  • Going to the Professional Communicator’s Summit as well as DCW with my husband
  • Coming out of the fear closet if you will and admitting I want to do stand up comedy and trying not to worry what people think about that.
  • Performing live comedy in front of some of my greatest heroes at CCA. I was terrified, but did not die.
  • Opening for Dan McGowan
  • Resigning from the Ablaze Church Mission Board – — It was time to move on. Ablaze is now established as a satellite location of our home congregation Our Savior Lutheran Church. I’m very proud of what we accomplished. By next year they will be looking at opening a pre-school and calling a full time pastor. Knowing I played a part in God’s overall plan for that congregation thrills me and humbles me all at once. It was an awesome three years.

　What do you feel you should have been acknowledged for but weren’t?

Leaving this one blank here — but it’s a good question to ask and think about.

What disappointments or regrets did you experience this past year? As leaders, we naturally have high expectations of ourselves and others. Where did you let yourself down? Where did you let others down?

  • Booking a retreat for my husband and I without checking out the leader’s qualifications: Turns out he only works with A-List performers and I feel like we probably wasted his time and as a result, ours. I was wanting to do something “really great” for my husband and overshot the runway in the process.
  • Losing focus on my exercise regimen and having to keep re-starting it
  • Picking a fight with someone I admire on his own blog (not the first time I’ve done that, but I kinda called him an overstuffed pig who plays with puppets and can’t keep a day job.. NOT NICE and not me )– when in reality he isn’t who I was mad at. I made an idiot out of myself.
  • Not being as present in the moment with my family as they want and need.
  • Not being as excited about Jeff’s new CD as Jeff was — All I saw was time spent away from home and forgot to cherish and celebrate his hard work and accomplishment with him like he deserved.

What was missing from last year as you look back? Again, look at each major area of your life. Don’t focus now on having to do anything about it. For now, just list each item. Here is my list:

  • More time doing what I feel called to do and less time worrying about what other think.
  • More time reading great literature and not just junk food
  • Time to really unplug and not think about work
  • More time with my husband

What were the major life-lessons you learned this past year? Boil this down to a few short, pithy statements.

  • A life without something to dream and pursue creates bitterness. It is better to pursue a dream and fall short than to hide your heart and fall asleep.
  • I can make a fool out of myself and actually live to tell about it.
  • It’s okay if I don’t like everyone I meet and it’s okay if everyone I meet does not like me.
  • Don’t over-think the outcome; just do the next right thing.

　

“This year is over. I declare it complete!”

My First Hate Letter

Deana8 Comments

It was bound to happen sooner or later.

Someone, somewhere was going to tell me that because I’m a Christian and a Comic I shouldn’t tell jokes about X.

It doesn’t really matter what the X is because it is different for everyone. This person was offended because I was telling Tiger Woods jokes. I think because he’s an international celebrity, he is fair game. She thinks because I’m a Christian I should know better. She chose to be offended, and I chose to allow her to feel that way, and she has now unfriended me on facebook. I’m okay with that. Why?

1. I am a professional comic. I can call myself that because I do actually get paid to perform now. Paycheck = the right to call yourself professional in my opinion. If I want to keep getting a paycheck, I need to write and tell jokes. That’s how it works.

2. Yes, I am a Christian. And I do keep that in mind in my set. Meaning I don’t swear or tell dirty jokes. I keep my humor clean. I do not intentionally set out to offend people, but it is going to happen from time to time. I can’t control that.

3. Just because I’m a Christian who happens to be a comic does not make me a “Christian Comic.”  That’s just a marketing term that was coined a few years back. It doesn’t mean anything really.

4. We live in an overly sensitive politically correct society and it’s got to stop. Sooner or later, I will offend you. I spent the first 40 years of my life trying to please people, being crushed over anytime I offended someone in the slightest and have a hefty mental health bill to show for it — translation, my people pleasing drove me to a nervous breakdown five years ago. I don’t want to go back here.

So there you have it in a nutshell. As my friend Joie put it to me this afternoon, “I’m sorry if I haven’t offended you yet. Please give me some time and I’m sure I will.”

Peace Out Ya’ll

Home for Thanksgiving

Deana2 Comments
Dillon and Charlie

I tend to over do the holidays. I over cook, over decorate and over stress.  We live too far away from family to be able to celebrate with them and I feel guilty about that sometimes.  I work myself into a tizzy making sure they enjoy the day and don’t miss anything.

This year, all I wanted for Thanksgiving was my son home from school and someone else to cook the turkey.

I got my wish. Charlie was able to drive in for the day and Jeff bought a deep fryer and made the turkey.

 

 

Our Turkey -- Jeff did a great job.

I still cooked way too much food and that is okay. We had a wonderful day together.

How was your Thanksgiving? Did you do anything special?

Thoughtful Thursday November 19 2009

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“Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.” – Jeremiah 6:16

 

I’m reading a book on liturgy right now. Not sure what I’ll find. I like the “rest for your soul” concept. I’m at a cross roads in worship.

I find myself hungry and tired. If I’d remembered in time, I would have made this my memory verse this month. Maybe I’ll save it for next month. For now I like the direction it gives.

Ask (God) for the ancient paths

Ask (God) where the good way is.

And then dear one – WALK IN IT.

A recipe for peace.

A needed word for now.

What crossroads do you face today?

Having Fun in Broken Arrow with Mission Ablaze!

Deana1 Comment

I apologize for my lack of posting, I’ve actually been sick. Still am. However. I did want to jump online and give you some highlights from church for the last few weeks. I hope you enjoy the pictures.

This is our crew from the Murder Mystery Night at my house. Planning nights like this are actually, very easy. All I did was go to MurderMystery.com and order a mystery package. Very simple. I cooked the main dish and everyone brought a side dish or drink to share and we had a blast.

This isn’t the best photo, but is is me performing at an outdoor festival this fall called “Taking Jesus to the Streets.” in Manford OK. This was the first year they had a stand up comic. They have four different bands who play and I told jokes between set ups. Load of fun. And they asked me to come back next year. I always like that.

Looking for a cure for “Terminal Seriousness?” — try hiring a Christian Comic for your next outreach event. Pictured here are Michele VanDusen, Dan McGowan, and myself. The three of us performed almost two hours of clean, family friendly comedy for the folks at Our Savior Lutheran Church in Tulsa OK. This proved to be a wonderful outreach event. Tickets were only $5 a piece to cover expenses and we had 80 people show up. 1/3 of them had never been to our church before. Comedy nights are a great outreach.

We intentionally chose to host this event at Our Savior rather than Ablaze for a myriad of reasons, and you know, I think it turned out great. So well in fact that our board of evangelism wants to host more events like this.

Yeah God!

And that is us in a nutshell right now. Ablaze Church is still chugging along while we wait for the survey results. We worshipped over 50 people again last week and that is a good sign. Whether or not we keep Ablaze as a stand-alone mission start or a satellite has yet to be determined. In time, we’ll know. For now, we serve.

I was talking with a friend of mine recently and you know, we serve an amazing God. This blog has taken many turns while I find my voice, and my place in His kingdom. I’ve always been a servant, it is the where I serve that has changed and grown. I’ve traveled from humorist, to bible teacher, to missionary of sorts, to comedy. My love for God and his word has not changed. I still first and formost want to be a Bible Teacher, in His plan though and not my own.  He hasn’t closed that door, but I do know that there are things I still need to learn, work through, and overcome. Each direction is a place where he let’s me grow up into his next role. I just don’t know that that is yet.

I love to teach, and can relate to small groups without a problem. I struggle with larger crowds and the minute you put a microphone in my face, I become an introvert. Learning stand up, has taken that fear away. It’s amazing to me to see God’s hand in all of this. He opened those doors, I didn’t. It is God who allows favor, not man.  Will he keep me here? I don’t know. But I do know that He is smiling and that I make him laugh. And that is a good thing.

If you are new to my blog, I should warn you, I’m a little strange. Fear is a major stronghold in my life and so I made a decision several years ago to find that one thing that scares me most and to keep doing it until I’m not afraid anymore. This is that one thing right now.

Until next time. Trusting in him.

Deana

ps… I forgot to sign on and give my memory verse to Beth’s blog this week — so I don’t have a new verse. I’m keeping with last time’s verse… which is a good thing, because I haven’t memorized it yet. 😉