Why do you Want to Lose Weight?
Note: My stats are showing more and more people searching for bulimia — I don’t have the answers. That’s why I’m posting this tonight. I am receive a dozen or more hits every day now wanting to know about bulimic prayers, hope, healing, etc. I’m just now coming face to face with the damages I caused my body when I was younger. While I no longer physically purge food — I was released from that captivity several years ago – I do still at times over eat, over exercise, and starve for the wrong reasons. — if any of this is an issue for you, please please PLEASE check out the page my friend gave me. Setting Captives Free. I’ve committed to it myself, starting today. It’s a wonderful sight. Thanks.
The first question I see in every weightloss program I’ve ever tried is “Why do you want to lose weight?”
That’s a loaded question, don’t you think? Why do any of us want to lose weight?
To:
- Fit in that new dress / bathing suit.
- Look good for vacation / wedding / class reunion.
- Find a Mate. (Already have one)
- Build my self-esteem
- Be healthy and live longer.
- Get my blood pressure and sugar back down to reasonable levels.
- Be more successful as a worker / performer / speaker
- Finally wear skinny jeans again.
- Receive positive attention from others.
Lots of choices to that question, but something tells me (other than looking ahead) all of my answers are incorrect.
I ran into an old friend this weekend. Someone I hadn’t seen in ages. She looked great. What I noticed first though, was her eyes. They had this light that I feel like I’ve lost. I wanted to know what she was doing differently. I mean I’m reading the Bible. I’m praying, I’m studying healthy eating habit and I’m exercising.
I’m.
I’m.
I’m.
I’m.
hmmmm
Then she said something really great – eating disorders cover false idols.
I had never until that very moment thought of the idol of being thin.
It was a total “aha” moment for me.
It was immediately obvious that I’m doing something very different from what she is doing. She’s living to honor God, I’m living to get thin again. No wonder my eyes look tired and her’s don’t. If I’m is a contraction of I am. Maybe I’m focusing on the wrong I AM?
I wonder.
Think about it.
An idol is a false god — something that replaces the real God we have in Christ.
CONFESSION: Every single reason I have ever – in my life – had, for wanting to lose weight — is an idol. Approval, self-esteem, respect, personal health, success, control. None of my choices had anything to do with God. No wonder I continue to fail. I’ve made it all about me.
What about you?
What is your reason for wanting to lose weight?
This post written by Deana O’Hara for Redemption’s Heart: Confessions of a Spiritual Bulimic. All rights reserved. No goods or services were given in exchange for the endorsement of Setting Captives Free. I am only sharing a resource that I myself find to be very useful.
Atomic Carrot with Flames
Late breaking news. A hair crisis hit Broken Arrow when we discovered that all new hair growth along my crown and center part appeared to be white. In an effort to hide this Bride of Frankenstein phenomenon, I pulled my hair back in a ponytail only to discover that the hair on my temples is also white.
That can’t be.
Granted, we did have a frost this weekend. But white hair? at 45. Say it ain’t so Joe.
It’s so.
And I did what any rational woman would do.
I tried to bleach my hair blonde so as to blend better with the new white and as quick as you can say “Nice and Easy,” I invented a new color.
Atomic carrot with flames..
and the white roots? are still white.
Since misery loves company, not to mention really cute hats, would any of you like to share your hair fiascos with me?
Rules of Engagement in a Social Media Age
Another post on social engagement? yep. Why? I thought in light of last night’s elections and the “banter” I’ve been seeing, we could all use a good reminder of how to BE NICE. In all fairness, am I always nice? no.. remember Paco? yeah, that wasn’t nice at all. I called my Facebook/Blogging friend Taylor an over stuffed pig. Fortunately, I’m good at groveling and owning my own messes when I create them. Even better, he’s really good at forgiving. Taylor is performing in Oklahoma next summer and I get to go to his show and talk face to face without the shame of unconfessed sin. I love it!
The old me — never would have owned my mistake, or apologized. I simply would have hidden myself away and avoided said person for the rest of my life. — What’s neat is knowing I’m not that woman today. What would be better, is not behaving in a way that requires amends. One of these days, maybe.
This has been a strange week, one day I get drowned by negative comments and snarky remarks, and the next day I meet a new blogger. He’s a young guy, 23 years old and new to the blogosphere. He left a rather funny comment on my blog, and I checked him out. I check out everyone who comments. He didn’t comment to promote himself, necessarily, he just thought what I’d written was funny. His name linked back to his page and found him to be funny as well. I’m always happy to meet someone new. I enjoy posts like that.
I have a rather eclectic “tribe” if you will. We all come from different walks of life. Very few of us are the same religion, and yet we get along. Why? Because we are respectful of each other. Oh sure, I get the occasional spammers who just want to leave their link in hopes of driving traffic, and yes, I get the ones who want to hit and run – pouring gasoline on some post I’d written leaving behind an anonymous name. I delete those. If you aren’t going to tell me who you are, don’t expect me to listen to you. And as a the host of this blog, I have a responsibility to protect my other commenters. While discussion and friendly debate are healthy, ganging up on someone simply because you disagree with them is not. I delete those comments as well.
Social Media Etiquette is a new thing. As we learn to interact with each other over the internet, we need to remember that the rules that apply in real life — face to face – should also apply online. Sadly we don’t always remember that. Even more sad is when I find out that yes, they are this rude in person as they are online. ICK.
I have three points that I try to remember and want to pass on.
Be Responsible – Take accountability not only for your posts, but your comments as well. I’m not really interested in seeing a repost of someone elses work on your blog. Write your own content, and follow copywrite laws. Use spell check and don’t misrepresent facts. If you receive compensation for a specific referral or post, FCC regulations require that we report that at the end of our blogs. Double check what you are reporting when possible. Same goes for comments you leave on people’s pages. If you can add to the conversation, great do so. But if you simply want to take away from it and start a fight, move on. Which brings me to my next point.
Be Respectful — There is nothing that drives readership and commenters away more quickly than rude and irresponsible posts and rebuttals. What do I mean by that? My readers don’t always agree with every post, and I welcome differing opinions freely. We just have an understanding. Be respectful in how you comment and how you treat other commentors. I mediate my comments section and if I see rude or snarky remarks aimed at another poster, I will either issue a warning or delete the offending comment entirely. I’ve seen many blogs that do this rather well (ie.. Randy Elrod, Micheal Hyatt, Carlos Whittaker) and I’ve seen many blogs that don’t do this well. — Those I’ll let you find on your own. — please note: a comment that expresses a differing opinion than mine is not necessarily rude and snarky – a comment that calls me an idiot for thinking what I think and drowning me or someone else in paragraphs of “proof” IS. If you get attacked after leaving a comment, don’t defend yourself, just don’t go back. I’ll give a blogger three tries and if each time I leave a comment, no matter how well it’s worded and the blog owner allows his friends to attack me, or attacks me themselves, I delete them from my rolls, it’s that simple.
Relax Already – It’s not the end of the world if someone disagrees with you or if you disagree with a post. Social media is supposed to Enlighten, Entertain, Engage and hopefully Educate. If you don’t like the tone of something you read, don’t leave a nasty remark, just move on. There are millions of pages to be seen in the blogosphere and not every one is going to be up your alley. It’s okay. The same rule applies if someone doesn’t agree with your take on things. Don’t get defensive and argue back. Engage them in the conversation, ask leading questions. You might learn something.
Above all — just have fun. Social Media isn’t meant to replace real life relationships. It can however, broaden your horizons and bit and maybe help you learn some new things.
Related Articles
- 5 Commenting Etiquettes Every Blogger Should Know (shoutmeloud.com)
- Five Key Ingredients for a Sucessful Corporate Blog (socialmediatoday.com)
- Put The Social Back in Social Media (paulrobertspr.blogspot.com)
This post written by Deana O’Hara for Redemption’s Heart: Confessions of a Spiritual Bulimic. All rights reserved. No goods or services were received in exchange for any of the bloggers mentioned in today’s post. I am simply listing them as what I believe to be positive examples on how to engage in today’s world.
When Teams Share Names
I worked for Sprint Communications from 1986 – 1990. During that time I fixed computers, wired muxes, installed PBX systems and ran a data room the size of my kitchen. I was pretty smart back then I think. Even so, sports and I are not really friends.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ll watch the Bears with my guys any day and back then, I sat in the bleachers of Wrigley Field with my binoculars (to better see the second baseman with) like every other gal in the city. I love baseball, and I love my Cubs. But.. even an avid sports fan (Rhino groupie) has her limits.
Take the day I was covering the lunch shift at the switchboard.
Me: Sprint Communications, how may I direct your call?
Voice on other end: Yes, this is Joe Montana, may I please speak with Loren?
Me: Oh I get it, a code name! Sure I’ll put you right through. (Loren was our secret service guy — used to work for President’s Ford and Reagan.)
Voice: No. This is really Joe. We went to college together.
Me: Oh I know you! You’re that guy who does those panty hose commercials. I love those commercials.
Voice: Sigh. No, that would be the other Joe. I play football.
Me: Really? For who?
Turns out Mr Namath Montana played for San Francisco. Hmm.. I would have known that if I really cared about football. But I didn’t. Turns out, he was cute! Shoulda ‘paid closer attention.
Now.. If I got Joe wrong, can you blame me for thinking that the New York Giants won the World Series?
I think teams should make up their own names and not steal from other sports. Just sayin.
Monday menu : November 1, 2010
It’s November, can you believe it? Where did October go? I was going to learn how to make Apple Butter in October, but I guess I procrastinated the month away because that never happened. I’ve been sitting here this morning, trying to plan my menu for the week and I hate to say it, but I’ve got nothing. Well, I have my outline, you know fish on Mondays but still. I need inspiration today. Fortunately for me, WordPress has added a nifty new feature where it will plug-in related blogs at the bottom of your posts. This little trick has led me to some new and exciting places that I’ve been checking out all morning. This is where I like to go when my cookbooks come up empty.
1. Ree Drummond: The Pioneer Woman. Ree lives in Oklahoma and is married to a rancher. While her recipes might not always be low in fat, a lot of them are and her detailed directions make them easy to make. She writes about a LOT more than just cooking. I love her website. Granted, I have to set a timer when I go there because otherwise I’d never get anything done.
2. Abi Joy Hopkins: Support Future Artists. Abi also lives in Oklahoma. I’ve known her for 17 years and she is a delightful young woman whose artistic talents extends to the dinner table. I go to her blog when I’m looking for something fresh and creative. Oh man, you should really check her out. Abi cooks with whole foods and in a day where most young women do not know how to cook — she is an inspiration.
3. Elizabeth Edwards: Mom Cooks Elizabeth lives in Michigan (one of the dozen or so states I’ve lived in throughout my life) and I had to include her. I love her writing style and honesty. She’s a stay home mom just like me. She’s close to my age and I can totally relate to her. I’m thrilled with this new find. (Discovered via WP widgets)
4. Jenn Fowler: Frugal Upstate. I will admit, it was the title of her blog that caught my eye. “Upstate” can only mean one thing, she must be from New York. I was right! Okay, so reading her blog does make me a bit homesick. (I was born near Rattlesnake Gulch, outside of Syracuse.) Jenn refers to herself as a “suburban subversive, plotting to reinvent the way we stay-at-home-moms think about keeping up with the Joneses.” After reading her blog, I can’t help but wonder if my penchant for resale shops didn’t come from my time in NY. (Discovered via WP widgets)
5. When all else fails, I check out All Recipes dot com. It’s a free website where readers share recipe tips and ideas, complete with photographs. I fall back on this one a lot. I can save recipes to my virtual box, print them either as full-page or index cards, and they even have a subscription services where I receive daily recipes. I love it.
I’ve decided to try one recipe from each page this week and then one from my cookbooks. The tricky part is going to be decided which ones. They are all so good. I’ll let you know how it goes, how’s that?
Have a great week ya’ll.
Edited at 1:45 to add:
I have my choices for the week:
Today: Breaded Fish, tartar sauce, green beans, and sweet potato fries from Mom’s Cook. No recipe, just took one of her menu ideas since it took me so long to plan today — note to self: do not pig out on leftover Halloween candy while menu planning — it kinda kills it. LOL
Tue: Malsaysian Mango Chicken Curry from All Recipes
Wed: Roast Chicken with Autumn Veggies from Support Future Artists — this will be perfect as I’ll use the leftovers for chicken soup on Friday. – I’ll be out with my Dad on Friday night, so I’ll just cook up the soup for the guys.
Thursday: Spaghetti with artichoke hearts and tomatoes from The Pioneer Woman
Still looking for a saturday dish – will try something from Upstate and let ya’ll know how that turns out.
Related Articles
- 252 Festival of Frugality at Frugal Upstate (frugalupstate.com)
- Complete Idiot’s Guide for Gluten Free Cooking in Bookstores on November 2, 2010 (prweb.com)
- Menu Plan Monday 11-01-10 (momcooks.net)
Glee Rocks the Horror Show (Spoiler Alert and Adult themes)
Confession: Even though my mother forbade me from seeing Rocky Horror as a child, I did see it as an adult in Tulsa and I like it.
“Rocky Horror was never about artists pushing the envelope. It was about misfits trying to find a place to belong.” – Will Schuester from Glee. I didn’t write it down, but I think that is what he said. Maybe not those words exactly, but the meaning at least. I’ll be honest, I turned on the TV last week expecting RH and when it wasn’t on, I thought Tulsa had banned it and boy was I mad. I have fallen in love with those kids — for reals, not the characters, but the people behind them. I wanted to see them try their best at Rocky Horror.
I know, I know, they are not kids, they are adults, but I am 45 years old and to me, they are kids. I am in awe of their talent and I want them to succeed, and you know they pulled it off. I’m so stinkin’ proud, you’d think I really was their mother.
I knew Fox was going to have to clean it up a lot to make it on the 7:00 pm time slot and so they made some changes. They cast a female (Mercedes, played by Amber Riley ) as Dr. Frank-N-Furter, an alien transvestite from the planet Transsexual, Transylvania instead of having a male play that role and I half expected that. Dang that girl can saaang, as we say down south. They also cleaned up the Touch Me scene between Janet and the Creature and made it a practice scene between Will and Emma. The only thing that really ruined this for me was the insipid story between Will and Emma — he puts on Rocky Horror for no reason other than to impress her and perhaps win her heart. — I am beyond bored with that story line. The writers are turning him into a predatorial male skank. Sorry, but you know I’m right.
Now, who truly stole my heart tonight? — Chris Colfer as Kurt Hummel playing Riff Raff. I was disappointed that he only got to open Time Warp and not really sing. This young man stole my heart in season two. I LOVE Chris. His voice and his talent just make me cry.
Now, I’m going to address something I don’t normally address here — Chris is gay, and I don’t care. In a perfect world we’d be able to talk about artists without talking about their sexuality, but this isn’t a perfect world. I’m bringing it up because some of my friends are upset over Glee’s alleged agenda this year and I’m annoyed. This isn’t an issue I normally take a stand on, but for one day, I’m going to. I believe homosexuality is biogenetic. It isnt’ a choice, it just is what it is. I know, I know, AND I’m a Christian, how can that be? Easy, I am friends with people who are gay. You know, I talk to them. Have meals with them. Send them Christmas cards. Friends in the truest sense of the word. And they aren’t my “gay friends” either. They’re just my friends. These are people I’ve known since 6th grade for some, my 20’s for others. They are some of my closest and most trusted of inner circle people in my life.
Like everyone else that I am close to, I know their stories, I know their hearts and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that for them, they didn’t ask for this and would not possibly CHOOSE this life. Especially not with all of the hatred and abuse they’ve suffered because of it. Unfortunately, most of that abuse has been at the hands of Christians. I am a Christian. Knowing that, breaks my heart.
I co-chaired a fundraiser years ago for an interfaith non-profit. My other co-chair hired a male singer for entertainment without my approval. I won’t list his name, but wow he was beautiful. He could sing like nothing I’ve ever heard. He had these blue eyes that could melt medusa. He was also gay. I protested her choice, not because he was gay, but because there were going to be pastors at this event and I was afraid for his well-being. I lost the debate and sure enough, I watched grown men make asses out of themselves and pop out of their seats every time this young man sat down. My mother’s heart just broke and I wanted to wrap him in my arms and bring him home with me. He handled it as well as I guess can be expected, but I cannot imagine having to put up with that kind of behavior my whole life. I’d be crushed.
A Facebook “friend” posted a comment that “Chris from Glee says people used to make fun of him when he was in school. Gee I wonder why.” and I wrote “Because people are idiots.” and then unfriended him. My youngest son is an artist and a bit on the flamboyant side. He’s straight, but he’s been abused and ridiculed and accused of many things simply because he doesn’t fit some predetermined mold of “masculinity” whatever that is. My other son is brilliant and was abused so badly at his first high school that we had to change schools because I was afraid he was becoming suicidal.
My oldest son is the one who turned our family on to Glee and we’ve been watching since season two. Fox upped the ante’ this season by focusing a little more on Kurt’s life as an openly homosexual male in high school. Honestly, I wasn’t sure what to make of it at first. As we’ve watched though, I find these episodes to be very educational to my boys. The writers for Glee are being compassionate in their portrayal of a young man finding his way. They are doing a great job covering both sides of the equation, and for that I am thankful. My favorite episode to date (RH not withstanding) is the Grilled Jesus episode where each of these kids – and the adults — contemplate their faith. Kurt’s answers about why he doesn’t believe in God, broke my heart.
Kurt speaks of a God who made him, he’s gay, it isn’t a choice, and yet God also created his followers who hate him, so either God is masochist or he isn’t real. I have several gay friends who tell me the same thing and you know, I think there is something drastically wrong with Christianity if hatred is all they see. Just sayin.
Having said that, I appreciate the honesty that these writers are bringing to the show. I hope they win an Emmy this year.
A comic friend of mine said that “Comics come from the land of Misfit Toys.” I agree. We do. Maybe, that’s why I like Rocky Horror so much. I’m a misfit too.
Until next time my dear friends, I leave you with The Time Warp, Ala the Glee Cast. Enjoy.
This post is written by Deana O’Hara for Redemption’s Heart: Confessions of a Spiritual Bulimic. October 26, 2010. I reserve the right to delete all comments that are rude, abusive, off topic or just down right snarky. Please be courteous to others. Thank you.
Monday Menu: October 25, 2010
I didn’t post a menu last week, and you know what happened? I didn’t follow a plan and I didn’t lose weight. hmm. Coincidence? I doubt it. I learned something though. After two weeks of no sugar and not much flour, I had energy, my stomach didn’t hurt, and I just felt better all the way around. Last week, I ate sugar and flour and had stomach aches and head aches all week. That, and I also gained three pounds. Healthy eating does not happen by accident, therefore as annoying as menu planning is to me (I’d much rather wait and see what I feel like eating than plan it) planning works. We have worked the following things into our menu so far:
SUNDAY: We are not the big Sunday Dinner family type. Sunday is church and football and my day off. I provide a buffet of choices, sandwiches, snacks, fruit and whatever else the guys can grab and go during game day — once in a while I’ll throw in slow cooker chili made on Saturday night or left over meat from Saturday, but that is really about all.
SATURDAY: Used to be our sports day and Jeff’s work day at the Mission Start. Now that D-man is no longer playing soccer and Jeff only works at the plant every other week, we’ve changed Saturdays to family night. Saturdays are my red meat nights, whether it’s a roast, or stew or something else, I make sure to plan a good dinner on Saturdays.
MONDAY AND FRIDAY: Fish night. — I am not a big fish eater, I’m not even a fish cooker, but with my now being on blood pressure medicine, my doctor has encouraged me to expand my horizons and learn how to cook fish so there you go.
TUESDAY AND WEDNESDAY: Are Chicken and or Turkey and sometimes pork.
THURSDAY: Is my 100% vegetarian night. This is where I really get to be creative and work up dishes that taste wonderful and are nutritious.
We all lead very busy lives, and I won’t always follow this plan, but it’s a start.
My Menu for this week is simple:
Mon – Salmon with fingerlings potatoes and green beans.
Tue – Red Wine Pork Chops
Wed: Stuffed Peppers
Thurs: Ratatouili on spaghetti squash
Friday — I’m performing in Yukon on Friday, and so we’ll be eating out.
Saturday: Jeff is at Ablaze and Dillon is at a dance – I’ll be home alone (between playing chauffeur) and will simply make slowcooker chili to be enjoyed on Sunday.
And that’s my plan for this week. What’s yours?
Related Articles
- Weekly Menu Plan (livingrichwithcoupons.com)
- Diner’s Journal: Off the Menu: The John Dory (dinersjournal.blogs.nytimes.com)
Fall Break: Letting Go Again
“Mom, could you please take your hands off the ceiling of my car? You’re freaking me out.” — D-man yesterday as he drove home from school.
I rode with my youngest for the very first time yesterday. He did great. I looked like spider woman with my arms splayed in every direction and my feet pumping imaginary breaks at various points of our 10 mile drive home from school. Learning how to drive is a rite of passage that I wasn’t sure D-man would ever have. He’s had epilepsy since he was six and until we got it under control, driving was a non issue. He hit his two-year seizure free mark on October 5. One more year, and we can buy life insurance. I am happy for him and sad all at once.
DH taught our oldest to drive, and I didn’t ride with him until he had his license. Because of D-man’s busy daytime schedule of high school and Vo-Tech, we are in the car a lot. It only makes sense that I let him drive as much as possible even if it means my learning how to not hang onto the ceiling. While, I’m happy for him there is a real part of me that knows my baby is spreading wings, and I have to let go a little more. He’s a junior this year, and he’s already told us that he plans on leaving for Nashville once he graduates. Oh boy.
To keep me on my toes, our oldest called on Sunday to let us know that fall break starts on Wed, BUT he wants to go to Texas with some buddies for a couple of days and he’ll be home for the weekend. It seems there is this girl that he met through a friend – via Skype – and they are planning on meeting in person. Telling me he wanted to go to Cancun with his buddies for Spring Break would have scared me less than this. I was in a funk for two days. He’s 19, and he crossed state lines to meet a girl! sigh.
This is a wonderful season for my guys. They are testing their wings, and as a mom I have to let them, even when I want to strap myself to their sun visor like some Saint Christopher amulet. We’ve raised them well. All I can do is keep creating a home worth coming home to – and good memories for them to keep in their hearts and trust that God knows the plans he has for them, plans not to harm them but to give them a future and a hope. (Jer 29:11) God doesn’t have grandchildren.
We gave them wings, guess I should let them fly hunh?
Tulsa Oktoberfest Starts Tonight
Tulsa Oktoberfest was rated in top ten Oktoberfests in the country according to USA Today. I wouldn’t go when the kids were little, but now that they are older, we try to go every few years or so during the day. It’s always a fun time for the family. Many people from our church work in the beer tents (It’s a Lutheran Thing) and being German we do like to celebrate our heritage. Proceeds from Oktoberfest benefit Tulsa’s Parks and Recreation. Daytime activities, include rides, arts and crafts, fun music and great German Food. For more information, check out the Oktoberfest Web Page.
Deana O'Hara - Speaker, Comedian, Writer 